View Full Version : Developing feelings for an online friend?
Met on a gaming site about a year ago, moved to Skype a couple of months ago and did some all-day (and a couple all-night) calls with our Skype group, just talking to each other. Usually harmless banter and stupid jokes, but I went through some bullying a few weeks ago, and he messaged me and honestly helped more than anyone ever has before and projected genuine concern. Afterwards, we've talked privately about more personal things he's confided in me about, like real-life, loss, and our similar feelings of anxiety and depression.
I have just gotten really attached. I won't insult love by saying I'm in love with someone whose real name I've never known, but it isn't just infatuation... It feels like a genuine romantic interest, but I don't know what to do because there's honestly no way for me to express this to him without feeling like I'm being creepy, and I couldn't bear to lose him. We talk all day, and I'm not usually this close or open to anyone.
I'm just really scared and guilty about all of this.
Suggestions?
Why guilty?
Well, we're close friends, and he's confided in me. I feel like I'm trampling on that by feeling like this...
Well that's what happens sometimes. I don't think you should feel guilty. But I would tread very carefully because as you said you really don't know this person all. Though I know you think you do.
N.
That's true, ultimately. I'm not going to give out personal information or anything like that. I have had Internet stalkers before and know the drill when it comes to being safe.
It's just...aaaah.
Thanks.
Congratulations. :)
That makes it seem somewhat more promising. I just wish I knew how to tell him without seeming creepy. I'm kind of a meek person. I've never been direct before.
But I think even if our relationship stays it is now, he is already someone special to me. It doesn't HAVE to even be romantic, I just kind of wish...
Congratulations. :)
Teem somewhat more promising. I just wish . I knew how to tell him without seeming creepy. I'm kind of a meek personyou. I've never been direct before.
But I think even if our relationship stays it is no. w, he is already someone special to me. It doesn't HAVE to even be romantic, I just kind of wish...
I'm glad you are being careful. Just take it real slow. Enjoy the moment with your friend There's no hurry right. Are you sure you're really feeling guilty? Or are you making yourself feel guilty so you will have a reason to tell him how you really feel.
Holy crap talk about over thinking things...I'm losing it. Lol.
N.
Just be go one step at a time and like I said tread careful.
Ypu don't have to be direct maybe gauge his responce .
What you say about even if your relationship stays as it is now he is special is lovely xx
But sounds like you want more so relax go easy and I hope your wishes come true x
I've been trying to do so, rereading over his messages a million times, but I've discovered reading people isn't quite my forte. Who knew being such a shut-in could make someone so bad with people? XD I've half a mind to crack out some of our messages and ask someone else to dissect them for me and find any nuances that hint to romantic interest I may have missed, lol.
Thanks. Relationships don't have to be romantic to be meaningful, it would just be...nice.
I'm glad you are being careful. Just take it real slow. Enjoy the moment with your friend There's no hurry right. Are you sure you're really feeling guilty? Or are you making yourself feel guilty so you will have a reason to tell him how you really feel.
Holy crap talk about over thinking things...I'm losing it. Lol.
N.
I genuinely do feel guilty at this point... It's like I'm betraying him. I do want to tell him, but I'm actually looking for more reasons not to, heh.
Yeah I know. I was just being silly. But I really don't think you should feel at all guilty about it. You've done nothing wrong at all.
Ah, I see. Thank you, that's actually pretty comforting. My anxiety often makes me think irrationally. I'm afraid of ruining everything.
But I'm going to try to look at this more objectively before I do anything else, haha.
Just be yourself. You sound like a very sweet person. It will all come out over time. You won't ruin everything. Just be careful. That's all.
Thank you! Hee, I can only hope.
Met on a gaming site about a year ago, moved to Skype a couple of months ago and did some all-day (and a couple all-night) calls with our Skype group, just talking to each other. Usually harmless banter and stupid jokes, but I went through some bullying a few weeks ago, and he messaged me and honestly helped more than anyone ever has before and projected genuine concern. Afterwards, we've talked privately about more personal things he's confided in me about, like real-life, loss, and our similar feelings of anxiety and depression.
I have just gotten really attached. I won't insult love by saying I'm in love with someone whose real name I've never known, but it isn't just infatuation... It feels like a genuine romantic interest, but I don't know what to do because there's honestly no way for me to express this to him without feeling like I'm being creepy, and I couldn't bear to lose him. We talk all day, and I'm not usually this close or open to anyone.
I'm just really scared and guilty about all of this.
Suggestions?
I too have experienced this and have met someone special online, however, for your own sanity my advice would be to be open with the person and ask pertinent questions to put your mind at rest.
As well as all the 'does he feel the same way as me' stuff you will also have those competing voices of reason from friends, others and especially within yourself, worrying about it, telling you it's dangerous and you dont know him, warning of the dangers of online relationships and all the rest of it.
I think the best way is to slowly try and move things forward with straight forward questions to put your fears to rest. If it's gone on for a long time why not suggest that you actually exchange phone numbers so you can actually speak to him as online conversations are different to real conversations and a lot can be lost in translation and second guessing what you 'think' someone means and feels etc? Or even suggest meeting, in a neutral and public place obviously (providing you live nearby etc)
I too was extremely sceptical as the anonymity of online relationships means there is a spiralling list of never ending questions, doubts and worries, it is these that need to be addressed somehow to stop your mind racing. My experience with that someone special is moving slowly in the right direction but I feel that once I have met the person in real life that then a lot of the worries and doubts will hopefully disappear.
Good luck, there are exceptions to the scare stories :)
Urgh...we've been talking every day and always back each other in everything, and have sort of been flirting (but it might just be in a jokey way) , and all of our other friends in the group "ship" us, and I'm still too anxious and afraid to actually ask him anything...
I...have so many messages and have had so many Skype calls with him, and I'm trying to read into them, but I'm too oblivious to pick up on any signals. And I don't really know who to ask to help me pour over them for unbiased, third-person input...
Soon. Soon.
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