The Fear

[rina_bean]

Hi all,

I have not been on here for a while. But things have got a bit stressful for me lately and ignited my GAD ten fold. I feel like I am completely, hopelessly stuck in a vicious circle of anxiety at the moment and it's affecting me a great deal.

I am afraid, fear is holding me back all the time at the moment and is making me completely indecisive meaning I procrastinate profusely and end up feeling worse!

I know I need help, and I want to seek help, but I am AFRAID to get help! I am afraid of all the possible consequenses and outcomes.

The train of thought that goes on in my head:

"I think I need to see a counsellor to help me."
"But who will I choose, how will I know who's the right one? What if I pick the wrong one? etc"
"Ok I'll pick a few to start with, oh wait, this means I have to pick up the phone and talk to someone. Oh god! Talking to someone on the phone. What if I make an idiot out of myself? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I agree to something I don't want to"
"What if the phone isn't clean? What if I catch something from the phone?"
"Ok, I'll email instead..."
"What will I say in the email? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I agree to something I don't want to"
"It's probably best to do nothing and just wallow in all this anxiety instead."

And I am afraid of talking about all this stuff that is going on inside my head!

Help!

[Creesy]

Hi Rina,

What you have said is pretty much standard anxious thoughts, its over thinking everything and always assuming the worst.

I have recently started going to see a counsellor again and I had to choose I spent ages trying to pick and kept saying I'm going to choose the wrong one its that bad I have ended up booking to see 2. Whether thats sensible or overly anxious I dont know but I thought I would choose 2 and see who I feel more comfortable with and I feel can offer me more.

I dont particulary like talking to someone face to face or over the phone and got really anxious when I went but after 5 minuntes I was more settled.

Just try to concentrate on one thing at a time make a plan.

1. (Im assuming you are checking a counsellor search website) On this basis I would take your time and read through their profiles and see who specialises in what you want CBT, Bereavement etc.

2.Whether its Male or Female and Age you would feel more personally more comfortable talking to. (For me it was Male similar age to myself)

3. Phone or one to one counselling sessions.

They should be patient confidentiality as long as your not planning on hurting anyone else they are bound to this and they wont judge you on anything you have to say, chances are they will have heard it all before and then some.

I hope this helps let me know how you get on

[rina_bean]

Thanks Creesy.

It sometimes just helps me to write it all down here as a start because I get some consumed with it all in my head!

I will make a plan and try and get myself some help!

[Chocolateface]

But, what if you pick up the phone call someone, find out that you feel you can trust them, see them for a few sessions and end up feeling better.

Perhaps you email and get a good response, then agree to contact them again.

Doing things the first time is scary but you have the right to feel happy so I hope you manage to contact them.

Good luck

[Creesy]

Yeah thats exactly what I done, I emailed the two I found to suit me the most and then they asked to call me, both were really good and spoke to me for around 20mins even before I had a session to get to know a small bit about me and what I'm looking for in the sessions etc.

Good Luck Rina_Bean, it will be worth it in the end.