Tring to cope with the stress and deppression.

[Children_of_God]

Hey,
just wanted to express how I'm feeling a bit, hope that's ok.
I feel so low.
I have so much on my mind.
It's like I'm living at my parents, in a town I don't normally live in.
I love my parents alot, but we don't get on that well, and I find I'm getting stressed alot, and some times they say things that are so hurtful.
plus, I have a 4 year old sister, and she's great, but some times I just have so little patience for her.
and get really annoyed when she comes in my room and like moves all my stuff (stupid I know).
plus, it's like I just reeeallly wanna get back to my town where the rest of my family, friends, and boyfriend is, I miss them so much and am just so stressed being here.
But even then, when I do get back I'll be living on my own, and have never lived by myself, I'm TERRIFIED!
Also, I'm worrying about what will happen with me and my bloke.
He's moving away next year to go to uni. and I love him and don't know how I will cope with it, it's like I'm setting myself up for another heartbreak.
I get so stressed and deppressed alot and just really feel like hurting myself (I used to do it alot) and it's so hard not to.
I'm just so fed up of feeling like this and having anxiety, and not being able to go out, and relying on everyone else, and being dragged down by the anxiety and the people around me. I always wonder if I'll ever get better, and be normal, and feel like myself again and how long it will take.
I feel like I've been doing it for ages and it's wearing me down. Like I hardly have the strength any more because I'm just so mentally and emotionally exhausted. and I don't know how to go on like this or how to cope with it.
my emotions are like messed up, I cry so easily and I get really stressed out over the littlest things.
I don't want to be like this any more and I don't know how to cope!
sorry for the massive thingy.
if you read this then thanks so much.
I APPRECIATE IT. take care :)

[Jimbo]

:hugs:

Aww, (((HUGS)))

It's good to let stuff out and not keep it all bottled up inside. You can get through it and you will feel better.

Jim

[Children_of_God]

thanks jim :)

[skylight2007]

:hugs: Children of God, I hear ya!!! it is so hard wanting to be normal again, and like jim said its good to share how you feel, anxiety has a way of creeping on us and we can feel all kinds of negative emotions, especially when were feeling down. I hear how you miss your boyfriend, and wondering if your going to lose him, sometimes change is sooooooooo hard to deal with and cope with. Moving back and being alone is scary and many of us have felt like that, including myself.
Sometimes the push to challenge what we need to learn is real hard, but I hope you get all the support you need. I wish I could offer some comforting words, all I know is that we are all beautiful people on the inside, and we deserve to be happy and fear free, I hope you feel better soon, and thanks for sharing your feelings with us. love sky:hugs:

[Children_of_God]

Hey sky (beautiful name!)
thanks for your time. it is hard the thought of living alone yeah, just 'cos I know I'm gonna be on my own so often. 'cos it's so hard to make and keep friends when you can't go out so there's only like 2 people that will probably come round maybe once a week or summat.
I guess it's 'cos iv only spent one entire night alone in my life, and I always seem to feel worse with the anxiety on a night, and I'll be alone every night...pretty much! I guess I'm most scared of having a panic attack and nno-one being there to help me. I'm terrified.
thanks for your kind words though.
and I hope you get better soon too = )
Michelle xxx.

[peach]

hi!

try not to worry about being alone. a few years a go, my boyfriend broke up with me and asked me to move from his place. i was very scared of the reality i was about to face- living alone for the first time ever, and knowing he would not be visiting or calling. i found a tiny 1 bedroom place with a small yard and took my dog with me. i have to tell you, i was loving it after like a week!!!!
i loved shopping for just myself, and decorating the place all for me, also i started buying nice things, good soap and shampoo etc. i have to say i really had a great time there! when i was down i could cry loud and run around badley dressed without worrying about other ppl. i really felt like i became my own women at that time. i too thought noone would visit me either, but they did! they loved being able to come over, have a shower, eat from the fridge and no worry they might be infringing on other ppl stuff. i think they felt even more comfortable then visiting me at my parents or friends place. also i knew if i had a panic attack, i would call my mum....i dunno if you have someone to call, but i also felt safe knowing if it ever got bad, id call an ambulance- it never got that bad...and for my whole time living on my own, my panic calmed down...
so take care, and try not to be scared of the unknown, you actually might enjoy it! living on your own can be very empowering! also, you never know what will happen with your boyfriend......after all my breakups, i ended up marrying mine..lol! and if you had of told me that when i was alone i would never have beleived you!!! if you are meant to be together, you will be! if not, then KNOW it is cause there is another out there you are meant to be with......just have a bit of faith...

[Children_of_God]

Hey peach,
these words are good thank you = )
I know there will be perks to living on my own, thank you for reminding me of some of them. I guess I just have a hard time getting past the fact that I will be living alone for the first time (i've never even spent more than 1 night alone in my life), and the fact that it's not like I can go out or anything 'cos I'm housebound, and will be alone alot (I will 'cos I only have like 2 friends, lol).
and that no-one will be there to help me if i panic, or lives close enough to get to me if i was really scared.
and i don't know how often I will have credit.
and i'm on sick and can't afford nice things anyways, lol.
but the decorating how i want sounds fun...when I have the money = )
xxx.