View Full Version : Need some solid advice
So after 7 weeks off work. 6 weeks on cit, 4 weeks on 20mg I still feel hypertension and anxiety. I just read the book a life at last which is a really good read. It talks about just living your life despite the anxiety. However when you ache and feel like crap it is so tough. I am thinking about going back to work to face the work related, meeting related anxiety but even the thought makes me feel sick. I seem to be carrying tension in my arms, back and neck. Am I ready to go back to work? They say just do it but I just keep putting it off. I feel that my body has not healed and I haven't switched of from work at all. Loosing patience.
What's keeping your anxiety going and stopping you from progressing is your obsession with going back to work Andy, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Every time you think about work it makes you feel anxious again, it is the equivalent of throwing a can of gasoline on the fire and just keeps the fires of anxiety burning.
I know you said you felt you just had to go back before the summer holidays, but realistically that is not going to happen without it causing a massive step back for you and that would not be good.
If the thought of returning to work fills you with dread and worry then that is a sure sign that you're not ready. When you are better you will know it and will look forward to returning to work and you will not feel anxious or stressed about it. You are trying to rush things but it is just serving to make you even more anxious and stressed, and 7 weeks is nothing in terms of recovery. How long do you think your anxiety took to build up to the extent that you had to take sick leave? Your recovery is going to take just as long if not longer, and the sooner you realise that the more chance you have of embracing your recovery instead of fighting it.
Thank you.
---------- Post added at 18:09 ---------- Previous post was at 18:04 ----------
What do you think about the theory of walking into and taking on your anxiety even though you feel so bad? That's what I keep reading.
I personally feel like if you jump into something too quickly it can backfire and have adverse effects. I've been unable to work, study or even interact with people for 3 years now. I was even told by a workplace advisor (part of IAPT I believe) that I need my issues sorting before work, I'm sure the same would be said for you and others in a similar situation. Some people can dive into things and adjust, but that isn't the case with everyone.
I have massive school run anxiety. I only need to go once a week to collect my daughter, yet it is beyond words how I feel during that time. I have no choice but to go, but it never gets any easier. I sometimes go on other days but with my partner, not alone, it doesn't ease it at all. I don't think there's any singular approach to anxiety.
Hmmm..... I can understand the theory, but with something as big as this I feel you run a very high risk of biting off more than you can chew.
Are there any other things you are struggling with that you could start practising on? With me it was making myself get up out of bed in the morning instead of just laying there ruminating and feeling worse and worse. Then I got myself a voluntary job, just one day a week, with Age Concern. Nobody there knows about my anxiety and I have to be there at 8am so I have to get up and showered and out of the door by 7.45am. A few months ago that would have been impossible for me, I would be in bed until 2-3pm before I could drag myself up and face what was left of the day.
What do you do with yourself during the week Andy? Do you go out or do any exercising? What about your diet, is it good? x
I have no anxiety in any other situation apart from work, meetings etc. my anxiety is very specific to work performance and stress, standing in front of colleagues etc.
At the moment I am at home doing exercise everyday, ready books on anxiety, meditating, housework, picking up kids, CBT etc. Very good diet although appetite has gone a little after being on cit. I appreciate that levels of anxiety differ greatly.
What about just paying a short visit to see your colleagues, just to see how you feel?
Suziewuzie
08-07-16, 21:09
You want solid advice but nobody can really give it to you Andy. Everyone is different and whilst sometimes I really think the "Feel the fear and do it anyway" approach is needed, only you really know if that's right or not. A lot of people in my life thought that getting back to work & back to normal would 'fix me' but I knew I wasn't ready at that point and I knew it would make me worse.
My solid advice is this; go to work and meet your boss, talk to them - tell them what's been going on. Just BE in your work place and see how you feel. Then you will know if you're ready or not.
Sitting at home & trying to work out wether you'll feel anxious or not isn't helpful now, you've done a bunch of hard work with the CBT etc. It's time to take another step now.
I've been off 10wks from work and I'm not ready to go back. Part of the problem is work related stress for me too but I know when I am ready I will be meeting people from work regarding what's stressing me. I can't afford to leave work but I know where I am working isn't a good place for me, it's full of negativity and toxic people and not one thing challenges me or gives me job satisfaction. In a way I feel my anxiety and depression has been a hard lesson I needed to learn.
Even thinking about going back stresses me out and usually although I know it's not where I want to be I can cope with it but just now I can't and thats how I know I'm not ready to go back yet. I've had a lot of ups and downs with dosages recently so it's set me back but I'll get there just like you will. Don't put so much pressure on yourself but do talk to your work, they may be able to help.
Thanks guys. Not sure what I would do without this forum. Going to go to see my colleague next week to see how I feel then I may go and see my boss. Think I am kidding myself that I am ready to go back. The one thing I really struggle with is the guilt. I am a teacher and feel guilty I am letting my staff and students down. However it's the school that put me under so much pressure in the first place.
Suziewuzie
08-07-16, 22:46
Please don't feel guilty! I was exactly the same - I'm a nurse and felt like I was letting down my patients and staff so much. But when I opened up to a few of them they made me realise how much it just wasn't a big deal to the rest of the world - everything carried on just fine without me, my patients were still well looked after and there was plenty of staff to cover my shifts. I was completely wasting time feeling guilty. When I went back half of the staff didn't even realise I'd been off so long! They thought we'd just been on opposite shifts!
Work feels like another world when we're sat at home in our anxious bubble, but it's never as big and scary as we make it out to be. Taking the first step is always the hardest - wether you do it in a few weeks or a few months, it will be very hard and it will be hard for a little while but you WILL 100% have that day where you think "I'm so glad I came back"
I agree. Go in, take doughnuts/cakes and sit and have a cup of tea and a good natter with your colleagues - no pressure. That way you will know how you feel being back in the building and all the sights, sounds and smells that go with it. You are doing so well Andy, you have great fortitude and determination and I'm sure everything will work out just fine for you eventually x
Hi Andy,
I would say take small steps in anything you do, I can guarantee you will come crashing down if you do too much too soon. You need to remember your confidence and self-esteem will be knocked too from this. The more pressure you put on yourself that you 'should' be back at work ramps up your stress. I set myself little targets each day that don't stress me out too much but helps my progress and my confidence.
Be kinder to yourself, it goes a long way x
Thanks for the positivity guys.
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