Needing major reasurence please...

[Sugarplum001]

Hello,

I've been struggling with this for a good while now but recently it has gotten a whole lot worse and I'm really worried. I can't seem to accept that it's dp/Dr and it's really scaring me. It's there all the time and really effecting everything now. I do try to push myself to go out but it's very challenging as nothing feels right or familiar anymore. Looking for some help and reasurence that this is still Dp/Dr.
I constantly feel funny to be a person...I feel like I don't know who I am or others are around me and placed just feel so unfamiliar. I feel like I've completely forgotten myself/life. My whole body shape feels strange and I constantly question if this is what a person feels like. I feel like I've just been placed here 2 minutes ago and I'm trying to figure out who, where and what I am!! I feel out of my strange body but at the same time
Feel strange to be in and have a stange body. I question if I'm really here as I just feel so wrong and spaced out all the time. Sometimes I can feel like just a pair of eyes or in my head, then I can feel in my body and my head feels strange on my body. When I try do things it's like it's not me and I'm in a separate place. The list could go on and I'm just worried as I can't seem to be getting any let up from it...it's 24/7.
Thank you

[Just2kisses]

This is literally just a symptom of anxiety and it doesn't last forever
There's your reassurance x
Now are you on medication? are you exercising? are you avoiding time alone which can exacerbate the dp dr?

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you for your reply it's much appriciated.
I haven't managed to find a medication that agrees with me (maybe I don't give them time I don't know) but I find things like citalopram and fluxotine really escalate it. I'm on a group course for CFS/ME but I'm going round in circles trying to get sessions of anxiety. I've been trying to get out and walk but I know I should properly do more.
I try sit with everyone but I find it escalates as I start to panic that I'm forgetting who everyone is as they feel so unfamiliar. I do find myself making excuses for social events though as I just feel too funny to be a person. I know it's not a quick fix and I need to help myself I just keep getting too scared that the feelings feel worse etc
Thank you x

[Just2kisses]

Well you know that you feel worse before you feel better with ssri medication and that you have to stick with it
Don't throw yourself into intense social situations just pop round to a friends house for a nice calm chat
You really need to go for some exercise
I went walking with a friend who was dealing with depression when I was bad a few years ago
At first we were just talking about our symptoms but eventually we moved on and just chatted about normal things after a few weeks x
The one thing that I will categorically say is that it does get better and no matter how bad you feel you will drag yourself through it x

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you...I just made myself go to the shop for 20 mins
And I could have just cried. I walked around and I can literally feel myself in my body like I've never been a person before. My head feels so strange. Thank you for the reassurance it will get better...just what I needed as I'm struggling to see a way through at the moment. Xx

[Sugarplum001]

Hello, having a really bad time of it today! I feel so strange and it's really panicing and upsetting me. I feel so strange in my body, I feel like a complete stranger and feel really out of it and really not right. It literally feels like I've never been this person or been here before (obviously I know I have) but nothing feels right. I don't seem to be able to calm myself down and getting worried it's more than anxiety (which i know that's not helping matters). I even feel strange to have/be in a body and questioning everything as well as worrying I'm going to forget who I am or everyone is around me as it feels so unfamiliar. Xx

[Carrie8484]

Sugar plum, I've experienced what you have , exactly 10 years ago I also suffered with de realisation / de personalisation and I've never been so scared in my life. I was convinced I was 'going crazy' and couldn't make sense of anything . It took a few months to control my symptoms but believe me , it really was purely anxiety. At the time it certainly doesn't feel like it. Citalopram helped me hugely but I know different meds react with different people. I was offered counselling which I unfortunately didn't take up due to Falling behind with so much uni work but I would certainly take up therapy if it is offered to you. The only time I felt 'normal' was when I was asleep but I knew that wasn't a healthy way to deal with reality. Distraction, distraction, distraction is what I would recommend to get you through the day to day struggle . Good luck xx

[Jenijar]

Carrie, when you had DP/DR did you ever feel like you didn't exist and nothing was real? I keep thinking maybe I'm actually dead and my spirit is imagining everything. It's so frustrating because everything logically is telling me I must be alive, ie I have a reflection, people talk to me, I eat, I have a body - yet my mind keeps insisting I must be dead/don't exist.
Also, did it make everyday things such as washing your hair feel strange to you?
X

[Carrie8484]

Hey jenijar
With my DP/DR nothing felt real. So yes, you could easily think you are 'dead' and what you are living in now isn't real/conscious. It's very very scary. What I did was physically pinch myself a lot to try and 'ground' my DP feeling. Don't hurt yourself, but a quick sharp pinch sometimes helped, there are other techniques you can try too if you google them to help 'keep you in reality'. Yes, no activity felt normal to me. The worst thing was being around people, I felt they were miles away from me even though they were sat next to me. I hated having conversations, nothing felt like it was genuinely happening. I think part of DP/DR is like OCD, you are trapped in a cycle of constantly thinking about it with no escape. It nearly ruined my uni degree (I had to take months off and take re sits) but what I would do is look for constant distractions. Download a load of books on topics you can get into , practice meditation (use apps or you tube) keep fighting it cx

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you Carrie for the reassurance. I had the same this last night with the conversations where my family felt so unfamiliar and so far away and their voices didn't sound like theirs. I ended up having to leave the room feeling very out of my body and upset. You did well with you degree...it stopped me from finishing my 3rd year and over a year and half on I feel like I have gotten worse! I had a little time in between where it calmed a little bit the last couple of months have been pure torture. I can really feel myself in this strange body and now really feeling all the space around me (especially behind) as of I should be attached to something. Being upright feels weird and so does laying down and my body shape just feels so strange. Getting really worried as I feel dizzy, spaced out and really not here. Even feels a challenge to walk to another room! Is that still part of anxiety?
Thank you again for your reassurance it's much appriciated. Xx

[Jenijar]

Hi Carrie, thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it. I find it really hard to distract myself because I just don't feel like doing anything as everything feels strange and unreal. Did you force yourself to do things? I've read that socialising helps but I find it hard to leave the house even for a walk.
When you had it did it feel like you would never get better? And did you wake up one day and it was gone or did it gradually get better over time?
I can't believe just how strange everything feels, it's awful x

[Sugarplum001]

I'm having a real problem when sleeping...I keep waking up every hour feeling
Like live not been here before, checking if I still know who I am, my hearts pounding and I just want to cry and I don't even feel like I can get up to distract myself. I will then fall back
To sleep for another hour and the same thing happens again. How can I tackle this? Thank
You x

[Carrie8484]

Jenijar anf Sugarplum

It took me months to start feeling better, and years to fully recover, and even now, I have blips every now and then. But I did turn a corner, after maybe 4 months, it didn't happen overnight, but very slowly. I think what happened was that I was so exhausted by it all, that I started to not care. I was still frightened, but it consumed so much of my life and took so much out of me that eventually I thought 'fine, you keep making me feel like this, i expect to keep feeling like this, but I'm going to do small things that I would normally have done before I got ill'.
So even though seeing friends and relatives felt weird and surreal, I would still do it, in very small doses, and expect to feel unreal and weird, but i would do it, because my alternative was to lie in bed all day, which believe me was normally preferable, but I know I had to do *something*.

i honestly NEVER thought I would get better. As soon as started to feel better, and then had another blip, I would be scared out of my mind. I'd have to go to bed and screw my eyes shut because I was so frighten that the DP/DR was coming back. So no, it certainly wasn't an overnight change. It required a lot of time and patience and almost an 'acceptance' that this was how i felt,

One huge thing that helped me get through it? I actually met my ex boyfriend when I was around 3 months into suffering with DP/DR. He didn't know anything about my illness, I never even told him, he just knew i sometimes needed to spend time at home with my family. I'd been introduced by a uni friend and believe me, I was not looking to meet anyone let alone a boyfriend, but this guy really really distracted me from my illness. Maybe it was having something new in my life that helped? I don't know, but it really made a difference to my life having *something* new and positive happening.

At my worst, I couldn't look in the mirror - I didn't recognise myself. I couldn't speak - my voice didn't feel real. There were so many frightening things that were happening to me. But honestly, and I know this 100%, it is anxiety. It is your stupidly clever and busy brain playing very nasty tricks on you. It CAN be overcome. Do do need to force yourself to do those small everyday things, another thing that helped me was my pets. I could speak to them, cuddle them, pet them, without them thinking i was going crazy.
Small steps, try and distract yourselves (i KNOW its hard) exercise a little to be tired before bedtime. Create a relaxing environment in your bedroom - I like candles, classical music etc when I'm anxious. You can do it xx

[fishman65]

Hi guys, hope you don't mind me jumping in here but I've been going through something similar this last month to six weeks. My 'favourite' anxiety symptom has been muscle tension/shaking for many years and in many ways this has made symptoms at least predictable, a case of better the devil you know.

Now this kind of obsession with my own body has come to the fore which leads to a dreamlike state much as others have described so well here. So right in the middle of this state I took a trip to the local co-op. I managed to buy what I needed but it was tough,like I was walking on a trampoline and my arms felt all heavy. However I have tended to find that if panic takes over, the unreality symptoms seem to vanish but by then I've been triggered :shrug: Hope everyone here comes through this, thinking of you :hugs:

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you for your messages of reassurance. I haven't been able
To calm myself down today and completely freaking out. My brain feels detached from my body and i keep proper freaking that this is me and I'm a person in this body. I feel like my brain now isn't attached and just not right. I know I should distract myself but I'm that overwhelmed that this isn't normal to feel that I can't stop myself.
Xx

[Carrie8484]

What you are experiencing is exactly what I went through.
Breathe.
Google 'grounding' exercises to *try* and bring your body and mind to connect to being in the 'here and now'. I know exactly how difficult it is. There is no magic cure but you WILL get through this.

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you...I'm sorry to keep repeating myself it's just so scary and feels
Like it's never going to end. I will do that now. Thank you x

[fishman65]

Hang in there Sugarplum - thinking of you :hugs:

[Sugarplum001]

Thank you very much xx
I keep nodding off but when I wake an hour later I feel like I'm doing it all again like I don't know who I am again (like I've changed again). Everything just feels wrong and I can't relate to anything. X

[Jenijar]

Hello Carrie, thank you for your reply it's much appreciated. When you was at your worst did you spend a lot of the time not doing anything? All I do is lay in bed or lay/sit on the sofa, I really don't feel up to doing anything else. I have a shower each day but it always feels so strange and abnormal that I freak out. Also, I feel like I really don't know if life is real, I think a lot of people experience unreality but still believe life is real, but I really don't know. Did you always know life was real even when you felt unreal or did you doubt it too? Xx

[Mike_NY]

Jenjar, I know you are suffering and I know it's a terrible feeling but I feel you will get all the answers you are looking for in the link I provided previously. dpselfhelp.com specializes in DP/DR and there is a whole community there of people who are willing to help.

Also, there are an increasing number of really helpful videos on YouTube. Ill post 2 videos that REALLY helped me and I would recommend subscribing to the posters and watching all their videos. Hang in there, it's only temporary!

https://youtu.be/vpX051fZrps

https://youtu.be/n9yxW_8CoNI

[Sugarplum001]

Hello, sorry back again as I'm really struggling. I literally feel like I don't know who the hell I am or if I've even been here before. My room and surrounding look like I've never seen them before let alone lived in them. I can't get and escape from
It at all. I just feel wrong all over in my body that feels so strange. I went to bed last night after another awful day feelings so odd and I've not slept well...at around 4am I can feel awful tingling feeling rise up my body and I'm just petried that I'm actually here, real And a person. I feel like a complete stranger. I'm so consumed with it I'm struggling to find anything to distract myself with as I'm constantly fearing whether I know who I am and if a person is meant to feel like this. My head feels strange and my brain feels detached making me feel so confused and a little disorientated.
I know I'm meant to accept it but I'm just finding it hard as everyday feels so much worse than before and I don't really know what to do. Many thanks xx

[Jenijar]

Hi Mike thank you for the reply and for the links to the videos.
I have been on dpself help but I find it depressing/worrying because there are people on there who've suffered with it for many years and I end worrying that I will as its already been 11months. I can't stand feeling so strange, everything feels so unfamiliar - even having a shower feels so abnormal to me and I constantly have thoughts that I'm not real / nothing is real x

[Mike_NY]

Hi Mike thank you for the reply and for the links to the videos.
I have been on dpself help but I find it depressing/worrying because there are people on there who've suffered with it for many years and I end worrying that I will as its already been 11months. I can't stand feeling so strange, everything feels so unfamiliar - even having a shower feels so abnormal to me and I constantly have thoughts that I'm not real / nothing is real x

Just read the recovery stories forums on DPSelfhelp. I think it will do you good. There is not enough activity on this forum with regards to DP/DR for you to get the answers you are looking for.

[Sugarplum001]

Ow gosh I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself again just can't seem to calm it and it seems to be escalating. I really feel like I've just been put here 5 mins ago and don't know who, where or what I am. My room feels so strange and unfamiliar to me and nothing in it seems like mine. It's so light tonight which is sending me worse as it doesn't feel right. I'm so tired but scared to sleep as I lay here feeling so strange in my body like I literally have just never been here before. I've tried to breath and listen to calming music but can't seem to stop my mind. The feelings are so overwhelming.xx