aaronrh76
12-07-16, 04:14
Forgive me but this might be a long post but I will try to be on point. I am 36 and have never had anxiety until around the 14th of May, this year. 13 years in the Army, deployed twice to Iraq and once to Afghanistan, and never had much fear or anxiety. Then all of a sudden in May I got bit by a dog. Long story short I was sure the dog had rabies and I was gonna die. Totally irrational I know, but still I couldn't help but dwell on it over and over. But I got the shots and after the series was complete I felt better.
A week later one day I am reading an interesting article online. In the article a woman is describing how she had a persistent cough for two years, then one day she couldn't walk because she had such severe pain in her hip. Went to the doctor and she had lung cancer stage 4.
Ok, so I started smoking a little after 18. But not too heavily because I still lived with my mom and dad and could only smoke outside so maybe 2 packs a week. I didn't start smoking regularly until after I joined the army and finished basic and training at early 20. I averaged about a pack a day, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less with periodic breaks in between. When I got out of the Army, I actually picked up smoking and probably reached 2 packs a day at some point. Anyways I got married last May and quit cold turkey on August 1st 2015. It also sucks that in my army deployments I was exposed to the wonders of the BURN PITS, and also in Kuwait was stationed right by several chemical plants. Seriously, everyone of us was hacking up white phleme by the end of the tour. So triple threat to my lungs right there. Near December is when my post smoking cough dissipated. After that; however, I have had a slight, periodic cough from time to time. Someday's a little bit, some days more often. Non productive, its like a tickle in the back of my throat.
I go to the VA every 6 months for a health screening, and actually when I was down in May for my Rabies shots, I asked about the cough and they said it was most likely allergies. I figured yes that makes sense, I have had hey fever my entire life, and I live in Austin now, which is year round allergies . I probably never noticed this cough before because of my smoking habit. About a month ago my wife says she wakes up to me coughing violently like I am chocking. I do not remember any of this but she tells me. It only happens when I sleep on my back. Got this device to record my oxygen level when I sleep turns out more than likely I do not have sleep apnea. Most likely acid reflux, and that makes sense because I have always had bowel issues.
So I am feeling fine until I read that article and it hit me like a ton of bricks. OMG I have had this periodic cough for so long now. I have Lung Cancer. I went to the VA emergency room in Temple, TX where they do a chest XRay. Radiologist said no signs of scarring, inflammation, or anything, so all clear, doctor says I have nothing to worry about doctor prescribes acid reflux medicine for that coughing at night thing. I feel better for a day. But guess what. Studies show that patients getting regular chest xrays do not increase chance of survival. Chest Xrays do not show early stage lung cancer. Back to worrying, thanks Dr. Google.
I am coughing more regularly now, I am thinking its psychosomatic, but my uvula is swollen so its tickling the back of my throat. I think I strain my chest muscles (intercoastals) due to the coughing. I push my regular 6 month check up from August to early July. Doctor listens to my lungs, perfectly clear, says he could have told me just from the sound of my lungs the chest xray would show nothing. My oxygen level is good. He hears me cough and says he has that same issue, its allergies. He perscribes some allergy meds, and says that if this doesn't help next visit he will send me to the pulmonologist. My coughing is much less now, maybe once an hour, sometimes less, unless I think about it, then I will cough out of habit. I have tourettes syndrome which is a defect in the brain, same part that OCD is defective in. So we share similar traits, like obsessiveness, hence me continuously dwelling on this. My cough is now a tic. I feel better until I realize thanks to Dr. Google that lung cancer cough can masquerade as allergy cough.
So basically, my deal is this. I just keep on thinking the worst for some reason. My cough. Thats my only symptom. No fatigue, no spit up, no abnormal weight loss. I do feel pain in my shoulder and chest, but I just recently started a gym membership so most likely that is my shoulder pain explanation, and my chest pain is most likely caused by my coughing straining my intercoastals. So hear I am, with most likely allergies, in a famous allergy city, paranoid about lung cancer. I feel so foolish, but for some reason I cannot stop dwelling on it. My anxiety is causing me more chest pains, non stop diarrhea, and some days I will wake up at 140 in the morning and not be able to sleep again. Every move my wife makes, or every sound I hear sets me on alert. I hate myself for being so damned stupid to smoke so much in my past, and I hate that I can't man up and stop worrying about this. I know that Dr. Google is the root of all evil and I need to stop going to him, its just I get a question in my mind, and can't stop thinking about it, then I convince myself that I can find the answer online and it will be good news, and be able to put me at ease. No such luck. I have so many questions, like
Is it normal for a human to cough every so often throughout the day? How much is a normal regular cough to clear dust or debris out of your lungs, and what consists of something more. And what does persistent or chronic cough entail? Is a periodic slight cough like mine concidered a persistent chronic cough, or does it more entail with a cough which you are hacking and coughing violently?
Is a lung cancer cough consistent through out the day like you always cough, or does it come and go, like someday's bad someday's not so bad. What about the chest pain or shoulder pain?
And why does my allergies scare me more than mortars, and gunfire ever did?
Once again sorry for the long post, I just had to get this off my chest. My anxiety is really getting on my last nerve. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, in constant fear. I mean what if I finally get over this fear, to one day be watching tv and see something else that freaks me out and be dealing with another month of being sure I am screwed. Reading some of the forums on here has helped put my mind at ease a little, I am hoping sharing my story will help as well.
A week later one day I am reading an interesting article online. In the article a woman is describing how she had a persistent cough for two years, then one day she couldn't walk because she had such severe pain in her hip. Went to the doctor and she had lung cancer stage 4.
Ok, so I started smoking a little after 18. But not too heavily because I still lived with my mom and dad and could only smoke outside so maybe 2 packs a week. I didn't start smoking regularly until after I joined the army and finished basic and training at early 20. I averaged about a pack a day, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less with periodic breaks in between. When I got out of the Army, I actually picked up smoking and probably reached 2 packs a day at some point. Anyways I got married last May and quit cold turkey on August 1st 2015. It also sucks that in my army deployments I was exposed to the wonders of the BURN PITS, and also in Kuwait was stationed right by several chemical plants. Seriously, everyone of us was hacking up white phleme by the end of the tour. So triple threat to my lungs right there. Near December is when my post smoking cough dissipated. After that; however, I have had a slight, periodic cough from time to time. Someday's a little bit, some days more often. Non productive, its like a tickle in the back of my throat.
I go to the VA every 6 months for a health screening, and actually when I was down in May for my Rabies shots, I asked about the cough and they said it was most likely allergies. I figured yes that makes sense, I have had hey fever my entire life, and I live in Austin now, which is year round allergies . I probably never noticed this cough before because of my smoking habit. About a month ago my wife says she wakes up to me coughing violently like I am chocking. I do not remember any of this but she tells me. It only happens when I sleep on my back. Got this device to record my oxygen level when I sleep turns out more than likely I do not have sleep apnea. Most likely acid reflux, and that makes sense because I have always had bowel issues.
So I am feeling fine until I read that article and it hit me like a ton of bricks. OMG I have had this periodic cough for so long now. I have Lung Cancer. I went to the VA emergency room in Temple, TX where they do a chest XRay. Radiologist said no signs of scarring, inflammation, or anything, so all clear, doctor says I have nothing to worry about doctor prescribes acid reflux medicine for that coughing at night thing. I feel better for a day. But guess what. Studies show that patients getting regular chest xrays do not increase chance of survival. Chest Xrays do not show early stage lung cancer. Back to worrying, thanks Dr. Google.
I am coughing more regularly now, I am thinking its psychosomatic, but my uvula is swollen so its tickling the back of my throat. I think I strain my chest muscles (intercoastals) due to the coughing. I push my regular 6 month check up from August to early July. Doctor listens to my lungs, perfectly clear, says he could have told me just from the sound of my lungs the chest xray would show nothing. My oxygen level is good. He hears me cough and says he has that same issue, its allergies. He perscribes some allergy meds, and says that if this doesn't help next visit he will send me to the pulmonologist. My coughing is much less now, maybe once an hour, sometimes less, unless I think about it, then I will cough out of habit. I have tourettes syndrome which is a defect in the brain, same part that OCD is defective in. So we share similar traits, like obsessiveness, hence me continuously dwelling on this. My cough is now a tic. I feel better until I realize thanks to Dr. Google that lung cancer cough can masquerade as allergy cough.
So basically, my deal is this. I just keep on thinking the worst for some reason. My cough. Thats my only symptom. No fatigue, no spit up, no abnormal weight loss. I do feel pain in my shoulder and chest, but I just recently started a gym membership so most likely that is my shoulder pain explanation, and my chest pain is most likely caused by my coughing straining my intercoastals. So hear I am, with most likely allergies, in a famous allergy city, paranoid about lung cancer. I feel so foolish, but for some reason I cannot stop dwelling on it. My anxiety is causing me more chest pains, non stop diarrhea, and some days I will wake up at 140 in the morning and not be able to sleep again. Every move my wife makes, or every sound I hear sets me on alert. I hate myself for being so damned stupid to smoke so much in my past, and I hate that I can't man up and stop worrying about this. I know that Dr. Google is the root of all evil and I need to stop going to him, its just I get a question in my mind, and can't stop thinking about it, then I convince myself that I can find the answer online and it will be good news, and be able to put me at ease. No such luck. I have so many questions, like
Is it normal for a human to cough every so often throughout the day? How much is a normal regular cough to clear dust or debris out of your lungs, and what consists of something more. And what does persistent or chronic cough entail? Is a periodic slight cough like mine concidered a persistent chronic cough, or does it more entail with a cough which you are hacking and coughing violently?
Is a lung cancer cough consistent through out the day like you always cough, or does it come and go, like someday's bad someday's not so bad. What about the chest pain or shoulder pain?
And why does my allergies scare me more than mortars, and gunfire ever did?
Once again sorry for the long post, I just had to get this off my chest. My anxiety is really getting on my last nerve. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, in constant fear. I mean what if I finally get over this fear, to one day be watching tv and see something else that freaks me out and be dealing with another month of being sure I am screwed. Reading some of the forums on here has helped put my mind at ease a little, I am hoping sharing my story will help as well.