Lovelife2208
13-07-16, 12:30
Hello everyone I'm new here and thought it would be a good idea to post my recent experiences with hope to find comfort for myself and hopefully help others in the same boat. Sorry if long winded.
I'm a 34 year old stay at home mum of two children. Back in March I had some unusual gynae bleeding, after a few days I had a massive panic attack in the middle of the night this panic snowballed and I literally had attacks constantly for a week, I was petrified, I had constant electric feelings in my chest. I struggled to do anything and I didn't eat. Ive had panic attacks in the past usually regarding social anxieties but this was regarding my health I was so so scared I had cancer and I was dying etc etc. The next day I ran to the doctor who quite frankly didn't help much regarding the bleeding basically said your young don't worry. Had some tests everything ok. Full blood test form was given to me doctor said we will test everything and that made me worse I was so scared to have the bloods incase they confirmed what I was thinking. They gave me anti anxiety meds which I tried but couldn't stomach them, I also had sleeping pills these were great because I didn't want to be awake. I spent the next month sleeping and cowering under a blanket in fear, googling symptoms scaring the life out of myself. I'd gone from having one disease to another. I suddenly could not watch anything medical or read any thing to do with illness because I'd get an intense fear inside. My world had crumbled around me and I'd lost the plot! I was so unhappy and 4 weeks later I still hadnt had my blood test. After a weekend break with my friends I felt a whole load better and started to function better but was living in a state of shock as to what had happened to me I was traumatised by how powerful my anxiety was. Days later I had an ambulance at my house which I now feel terrible about but basically I had felt like I was going to collapse I couldn't walk and I was convinced I was ill I was alone with my 3 year old. I was hyperventilating but at the time I couldn't understand what was happening. I had the blood tests, I was a state waiting for the results I went to stay with my parents and literally cried and had constant panic attacks all weekend my family were great and all rallied round me. The result came back normal and I had a huge weight off my shoulders and I decided I had to get back on track which I did but it didn't last long as I started to think what if the doctor is wrong what if the tests are wrong and then I started googling then I started imagining symptoms, it didn't help that I was suffering from sciatica and back pain from lifting my toddler up which had gone on for 12 weeks and of course my mind ran away with me. I couldn't believe it was happening again and I was finding myself prodding and poking my body my stomach my back looking for and imagining pains. I prodded myself so much in certain parts of my back that Id bruised myself. I was beginning to realise that the symptoms I was imagining didn't exist because obviously for the few moments that I was feeling okay or distracted I could not feel them. I started feeling better getting back on track enjoying life once again. I was sitting there one night watching telly thinking it was so lovely just to be relaxed and not be worrying and to be eating normally I felt like my old self again and then bam I get this choking feeling in my throat it felt like something was stuck in my throat well this started the anxiety up again, it went on for weeks doctor said possibly acid reflux's all the anxiety can cause the globus feeling in the throat but I didn't have an answer so I didnt feel reassured and so then this turned into all sorts of diseases. I didn't eat much and again was stressed. I starting taking hay ever tabs and some reflux tabs and eventually it went started feeling better and guess what now it's back in the form of loud stomach rumbling constant burping and water brash (excessive saliva) well again I'm here worrying I have stomach cancer or something similar doctor has put me on reflux meds and ordered a stool sample. I'm so fed up I've never been ill so I feel like I'm getting old and this is the beginning of the end. In reality I know that sounds stupid but the idea of being ill scares the life out of me. I feel like life is so much hard work. I love my family so much and I love life I just want to embrace it but health anxiety is ruining my life. I'm currently waiting for cbt but the waiting list is 6 months plus. I know I need to get back to work and fill my life with distractions but I'm a single mum of two and Its so hard as I'm waiting for my son to go to school on a full time basis. I've lost nearly 2 stone In The last few months not eating (not complaining!) I will never underestimate the power of anxiety. Thanks for reading xx
I'm a 34 year old stay at home mum of two children. Back in March I had some unusual gynae bleeding, after a few days I had a massive panic attack in the middle of the night this panic snowballed and I literally had attacks constantly for a week, I was petrified, I had constant electric feelings in my chest. I struggled to do anything and I didn't eat. Ive had panic attacks in the past usually regarding social anxieties but this was regarding my health I was so so scared I had cancer and I was dying etc etc. The next day I ran to the doctor who quite frankly didn't help much regarding the bleeding basically said your young don't worry. Had some tests everything ok. Full blood test form was given to me doctor said we will test everything and that made me worse I was so scared to have the bloods incase they confirmed what I was thinking. They gave me anti anxiety meds which I tried but couldn't stomach them, I also had sleeping pills these were great because I didn't want to be awake. I spent the next month sleeping and cowering under a blanket in fear, googling symptoms scaring the life out of myself. I'd gone from having one disease to another. I suddenly could not watch anything medical or read any thing to do with illness because I'd get an intense fear inside. My world had crumbled around me and I'd lost the plot! I was so unhappy and 4 weeks later I still hadnt had my blood test. After a weekend break with my friends I felt a whole load better and started to function better but was living in a state of shock as to what had happened to me I was traumatised by how powerful my anxiety was. Days later I had an ambulance at my house which I now feel terrible about but basically I had felt like I was going to collapse I couldn't walk and I was convinced I was ill I was alone with my 3 year old. I was hyperventilating but at the time I couldn't understand what was happening. I had the blood tests, I was a state waiting for the results I went to stay with my parents and literally cried and had constant panic attacks all weekend my family were great and all rallied round me. The result came back normal and I had a huge weight off my shoulders and I decided I had to get back on track which I did but it didn't last long as I started to think what if the doctor is wrong what if the tests are wrong and then I started googling then I started imagining symptoms, it didn't help that I was suffering from sciatica and back pain from lifting my toddler up which had gone on for 12 weeks and of course my mind ran away with me. I couldn't believe it was happening again and I was finding myself prodding and poking my body my stomach my back looking for and imagining pains. I prodded myself so much in certain parts of my back that Id bruised myself. I was beginning to realise that the symptoms I was imagining didn't exist because obviously for the few moments that I was feeling okay or distracted I could not feel them. I started feeling better getting back on track enjoying life once again. I was sitting there one night watching telly thinking it was so lovely just to be relaxed and not be worrying and to be eating normally I felt like my old self again and then bam I get this choking feeling in my throat it felt like something was stuck in my throat well this started the anxiety up again, it went on for weeks doctor said possibly acid reflux's all the anxiety can cause the globus feeling in the throat but I didn't have an answer so I didnt feel reassured and so then this turned into all sorts of diseases. I didn't eat much and again was stressed. I starting taking hay ever tabs and some reflux tabs and eventually it went started feeling better and guess what now it's back in the form of loud stomach rumbling constant burping and water brash (excessive saliva) well again I'm here worrying I have stomach cancer or something similar doctor has put me on reflux meds and ordered a stool sample. I'm so fed up I've never been ill so I feel like I'm getting old and this is the beginning of the end. In reality I know that sounds stupid but the idea of being ill scares the life out of me. I feel like life is so much hard work. I love my family so much and I love life I just want to embrace it but health anxiety is ruining my life. I'm currently waiting for cbt but the waiting list is 6 months plus. I know I need to get back to work and fill my life with distractions but I'm a single mum of two and Its so hard as I'm waiting for my son to go to school on a full time basis. I've lost nearly 2 stone In The last few months not eating (not complaining!) I will never underestimate the power of anxiety. Thanks for reading xx