ScaredCaz
15-07-16, 12:37
Hi All
I will start by apologising for the long post but hope that everyone who sees it will read it in the hope that someone can help me.
I have been suffering with Health Anxiety for 8 years now since my mam passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack.
As you can probably guess my HA is centred around my heart and if I am going to also die of a heart attack either sooner or later in my life 😞
I am a different kind of HA sufferer because I am also petrified of doctors and hospitals and everything that's involved with them. I am petrified of the thought of having any kind of test even a blood test needs me to prepare myself mentally for any bad results
I have tried numerous tablets over the years anti depressants don't agree with me I can't handle the side effects so at the minute I'm not on anything for my HA
I also over the last 8 years been diagnosed with under active thyroid for which I take medication I also have fibromyalgia I have chronic nerve pain in my neck shoulders and arms for which I take amitriptaline I also have ibs for which I take Colofac I also take a lanzoprozole every day
I am having a particularly rough time at the minute my HA and anxiety in general is having such a major impact on my life that while I know I would never do anything to harm myself I am so tired of living this way in all the years I have been suffering this way I have never been referred to the hospital for any kind of test even if it was just to put my own mind at rest I have had quite a few blood tests over the years and now with my thyroid problem I have to have them yearly but because I haven't really had anything else checked I am at the stage that as well as being so incredibly tired of this I am struggling to accept my doctors reassurance now because if I have had no test how do they know?
I am probably selling my GP short I have seen just about everyone in our surgery which is a large surgery I have found that many of them have got fed up of me and I sense it immediately I also always feel rushed during appointments almost as if the doc is thinking I have really sick people out there waiting and you're wasting my time may just be my paranoia but I can't help how I feel
It seems all of this now has come to a make or break kind of situation I am at the end of my rope and I so desperately want this sorting I know I will never be the same person I was before I lost my amazing mam and I really do believe I have accepted her loss but the fear of me leaving my 4 kids in the state I am in is consuming my life
I work 12 hours a week as I am a career for my son who has Autism I am married for nearly 16 years I have 3 grown up daughters all healthy all somewhat happy my middle daughter does have depression and all working I know there are people out there whose lot is a lot worse than mine I know some people who are having a horrendous time but I still can't help feeling like the most unhappiest person in the world I went doctors on Tuesday and told her I am done I need some proper professional psychological help I need someone to help me get to the point where I can go doctors when I feel ill with the same amount of nerves as normal people get and deal with whatever results happen during my life in a normal person way
I am nearly 44 I'm female I am as I type this probably 6 years late for a smear test I have a mole on my back I constantly worry about and get my family to check who assure me it's fine I have so many symptoms I have IBS symptoms continuously colicky stomach, jelly belly,constipation I am also aware that IBS affects anxiety levels and your mood so I feel I suffer more with that side of things, I have constant middle back ache shoulder and neck discomfort causing my ears to feel full or blocked causing headaches a lot I get a lot of chest twinges slight muscle spasms maybe since the doc has listened to my heart she has tested my oxygen levels and taken my blood pressure which I now find is reacting to me being at the doctors causing white coat syndrome along with all that more troubling to me I am constantly thinking about collapsing passing out dying suddenly what will happen to my kids? While I know that everyone at some point in their lives thinks like that my mind is constantly on it I am so desperate to try and make my life better other than my 12 hours at work which are 9-4 on Sunday and 4-30pm-9-30pm on a Monday I don't leave the house I really believe my IBS affects my anxiety if I need the toilet or my food is digesting then I feel anxious if I talk to people I run out of breath and that makes my stomach drop of you can relate to that? I feel like my chest is full I can feel my heart beating sometimes I am very aware of my jaw and my lips I am constantly checking if they are blue this has been very bad for the last 2/3 weeks I am scared to go work in case I take ill it is all getting too much to bear can anyone relate to this?
I will start by apologising for the long post but hope that everyone who sees it will read it in the hope that someone can help me.
I have been suffering with Health Anxiety for 8 years now since my mam passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack.
As you can probably guess my HA is centred around my heart and if I am going to also die of a heart attack either sooner or later in my life 😞
I am a different kind of HA sufferer because I am also petrified of doctors and hospitals and everything that's involved with them. I am petrified of the thought of having any kind of test even a blood test needs me to prepare myself mentally for any bad results
I have tried numerous tablets over the years anti depressants don't agree with me I can't handle the side effects so at the minute I'm not on anything for my HA
I also over the last 8 years been diagnosed with under active thyroid for which I take medication I also have fibromyalgia I have chronic nerve pain in my neck shoulders and arms for which I take amitriptaline I also have ibs for which I take Colofac I also take a lanzoprozole every day
I am having a particularly rough time at the minute my HA and anxiety in general is having such a major impact on my life that while I know I would never do anything to harm myself I am so tired of living this way in all the years I have been suffering this way I have never been referred to the hospital for any kind of test even if it was just to put my own mind at rest I have had quite a few blood tests over the years and now with my thyroid problem I have to have them yearly but because I haven't really had anything else checked I am at the stage that as well as being so incredibly tired of this I am struggling to accept my doctors reassurance now because if I have had no test how do they know?
I am probably selling my GP short I have seen just about everyone in our surgery which is a large surgery I have found that many of them have got fed up of me and I sense it immediately I also always feel rushed during appointments almost as if the doc is thinking I have really sick people out there waiting and you're wasting my time may just be my paranoia but I can't help how I feel
It seems all of this now has come to a make or break kind of situation I am at the end of my rope and I so desperately want this sorting I know I will never be the same person I was before I lost my amazing mam and I really do believe I have accepted her loss but the fear of me leaving my 4 kids in the state I am in is consuming my life
I work 12 hours a week as I am a career for my son who has Autism I am married for nearly 16 years I have 3 grown up daughters all healthy all somewhat happy my middle daughter does have depression and all working I know there are people out there whose lot is a lot worse than mine I know some people who are having a horrendous time but I still can't help feeling like the most unhappiest person in the world I went doctors on Tuesday and told her I am done I need some proper professional psychological help I need someone to help me get to the point where I can go doctors when I feel ill with the same amount of nerves as normal people get and deal with whatever results happen during my life in a normal person way
I am nearly 44 I'm female I am as I type this probably 6 years late for a smear test I have a mole on my back I constantly worry about and get my family to check who assure me it's fine I have so many symptoms I have IBS symptoms continuously colicky stomach, jelly belly,constipation I am also aware that IBS affects anxiety levels and your mood so I feel I suffer more with that side of things, I have constant middle back ache shoulder and neck discomfort causing my ears to feel full or blocked causing headaches a lot I get a lot of chest twinges slight muscle spasms maybe since the doc has listened to my heart she has tested my oxygen levels and taken my blood pressure which I now find is reacting to me being at the doctors causing white coat syndrome along with all that more troubling to me I am constantly thinking about collapsing passing out dying suddenly what will happen to my kids? While I know that everyone at some point in their lives thinks like that my mind is constantly on it I am so desperate to try and make my life better other than my 12 hours at work which are 9-4 on Sunday and 4-30pm-9-30pm on a Monday I don't leave the house I really believe my IBS affects my anxiety if I need the toilet or my food is digesting then I feel anxious if I talk to people I run out of breath and that makes my stomach drop of you can relate to that? I feel like my chest is full I can feel my heart beating sometimes I am very aware of my jaw and my lips I am constantly checking if they are blue this has been very bad for the last 2/3 weeks I am scared to go work in case I take ill it is all getting too much to bear can anyone relate to this?