antique
20-07-16, 17:37
Hi there, just had to ask for some support/advice as I have had 2 years of stress and worry and it seems as if things are going to get worse.
My mum is 89 and I am her carer together with care workers who come in 3 times a day. She has lost her independence through others' actions and 2 years ago it was so different.
My mother genuinely looks and acts like someone 20 years younger. She was independent until she was knocked over 2 years ago in a supermarket car park.
An off duty police woman reversed into her!! Mum broke her leg and made a good recovery. Unfortunately she went to our small local hospital to recuperate and caught various infections which made her confused. She tried to get out of bed and fell, breaking her hip. The hip was pinned, but then she came out of hospital last year and slipped on kitchen tiles. She broke the other hip, leading to full replacement.
She also had eye problems during this time - cataracts and glaucoma - and has lost the sight in one eye.
I have no siblings and only a few friends who were not really there when needed. I have a long term partner but we do not live together and the relationship has been difficult at times. Also he and my mum dislike each other and have no contact.
I had 6 months on and off of hospital visiting plus numerous visits to doctors, opticians, specialists etc., all on my own, having to deal with the stress whilst working full time self employed.
I have also taken on a large commercial project and spent the past year renovating a building prior to opening retail premises. I had a lot of problems with planning, difficult neighbours, finance etc, a real headache getting up and running. I have had help with this but ultimately I'm responsible.
I thought life had finally settled down to some kind of normality but I am sitting here worried sick as my mother has just had an urgent referral to a gynaecologist. She has some sores/ulcers 'down below' and we are both worrying it is cancer. She has only seen the district nurse who showed some photos to the doctor who then referred my mum. Obviously he thinks it's cancer or the referral wouldn't be urgent.
My mother is tiny, underweight, always been slim and I don't know how she has survived this far. She gets depressed because her life has been ruined by the accident and her mobility gone. She has said she thinks it would kill her to go back into hospital and I honestly don't know how I could cope with this. My partner may be right when he says that everyone has to die sometime but it is so unfair!! She has been through hell and so have I. And all this started a year after my father died.
I'm having trouble sleeping and my appetite is reduced. I had a bad breakdown 20 years ago, mostly recovered but I still can't travel abroad. Because I have no other family and no children, I just don't know how I am going to cope if she has cancer and I am left alone. We have always been close because my father was a drunken, abusive *******. I know she won't live forever but I really hoped she would just die of old age. She has been through so much.
My mum is 89 and I am her carer together with care workers who come in 3 times a day. She has lost her independence through others' actions and 2 years ago it was so different.
My mother genuinely looks and acts like someone 20 years younger. She was independent until she was knocked over 2 years ago in a supermarket car park.
An off duty police woman reversed into her!! Mum broke her leg and made a good recovery. Unfortunately she went to our small local hospital to recuperate and caught various infections which made her confused. She tried to get out of bed and fell, breaking her hip. The hip was pinned, but then she came out of hospital last year and slipped on kitchen tiles. She broke the other hip, leading to full replacement.
She also had eye problems during this time - cataracts and glaucoma - and has lost the sight in one eye.
I have no siblings and only a few friends who were not really there when needed. I have a long term partner but we do not live together and the relationship has been difficult at times. Also he and my mum dislike each other and have no contact.
I had 6 months on and off of hospital visiting plus numerous visits to doctors, opticians, specialists etc., all on my own, having to deal with the stress whilst working full time self employed.
I have also taken on a large commercial project and spent the past year renovating a building prior to opening retail premises. I had a lot of problems with planning, difficult neighbours, finance etc, a real headache getting up and running. I have had help with this but ultimately I'm responsible.
I thought life had finally settled down to some kind of normality but I am sitting here worried sick as my mother has just had an urgent referral to a gynaecologist. She has some sores/ulcers 'down below' and we are both worrying it is cancer. She has only seen the district nurse who showed some photos to the doctor who then referred my mum. Obviously he thinks it's cancer or the referral wouldn't be urgent.
My mother is tiny, underweight, always been slim and I don't know how she has survived this far. She gets depressed because her life has been ruined by the accident and her mobility gone. She has said she thinks it would kill her to go back into hospital and I honestly don't know how I could cope with this. My partner may be right when he says that everyone has to die sometime but it is so unfair!! She has been through hell and so have I. And all this started a year after my father died.
I'm having trouble sleeping and my appetite is reduced. I had a bad breakdown 20 years ago, mostly recovered but I still can't travel abroad. Because I have no other family and no children, I just don't know how I am going to cope if she has cancer and I am left alone. We have always been close because my father was a drunken, abusive *******. I know she won't live forever but I really hoped she would just die of old age. She has been through so much.