Ele08
20-07-16, 18:28
No matter how much you search for an answer or how many times you ask the question..the fact is you just gotta take a test!
Anxiety has been an issue for me probably the last 3 years..which I belive all began years before that with drinking and the feeling of not remembering what happened the night before..over time and the older I got it got worse along with other things..thoughts started going up the wall..like did I do this or do that? Which I've learned now to be intrusive thoughts..which the normal person would think about and forget about the same second...people with anxiety think deeper and it goes from there...anyway me being me my thoughts and worries had now escalated that I had hiv...but the fact of matter was that I couldn't pass this off as just thoughts as I had previously encountered in unsafe sex a few years back ...my brain started working overdrive...what were my symptoms..did I feel anything... I had a cold at the time...I couldn't remember which made it worse...but I said to myself surely I'd feel something by this stage ..then reading deeper into things online people are saying it can take a decade or more after incertation to feel anymore symptoms...well!!!! The sweat was bucketing out of me...my heart rate started doing at 90...I cried every single night.....finally I plucked up the courage to call my gum clinic and they said the next appointment would be 2 weeks...I booked it...but a couple days passed and I was at my wits end...100% sure i had this virus I cried thinking how I would tell my family...my partner! I ended up having to book a private appointment - rapid test I just couldn't wait any longer..
That day...doctored called my name..sat me down asked did I want to talk about it or get straight to it...I couldn't even speak nor could I see him my eyes were so weld up...pricked the finger...sent me to the waiting room...20 minutes later called me back......... he smiled Negative!
I just melted, cried , hugged the doctor then cried some more..I can't even begin to describe to relieve...I'm not gonna lie..later that day a wee intruder popped into my head saying could it be wrong...but I'm not going there..I'm negative!!!!
I just wanted anyone who is worried to know..that those symptoms or those worries maybe nothing or maybe something...don't torture yourself it is not worth it..I had really suffered over this...had my results been different I do not where I'd be now...!!
I'm sure I will continue to battle with anxiety...but this by far was the hardest thing for me as not only could this just in my mind..this could of been a reality
Be safe..and if in doubt just test.
Xox
Anxiety has been an issue for me probably the last 3 years..which I belive all began years before that with drinking and the feeling of not remembering what happened the night before..over time and the older I got it got worse along with other things..thoughts started going up the wall..like did I do this or do that? Which I've learned now to be intrusive thoughts..which the normal person would think about and forget about the same second...people with anxiety think deeper and it goes from there...anyway me being me my thoughts and worries had now escalated that I had hiv...but the fact of matter was that I couldn't pass this off as just thoughts as I had previously encountered in unsafe sex a few years back ...my brain started working overdrive...what were my symptoms..did I feel anything... I had a cold at the time...I couldn't remember which made it worse...but I said to myself surely I'd feel something by this stage ..then reading deeper into things online people are saying it can take a decade or more after incertation to feel anymore symptoms...well!!!! The sweat was bucketing out of me...my heart rate started doing at 90...I cried every single night.....finally I plucked up the courage to call my gum clinic and they said the next appointment would be 2 weeks...I booked it...but a couple days passed and I was at my wits end...100% sure i had this virus I cried thinking how I would tell my family...my partner! I ended up having to book a private appointment - rapid test I just couldn't wait any longer..
That day...doctored called my name..sat me down asked did I want to talk about it or get straight to it...I couldn't even speak nor could I see him my eyes were so weld up...pricked the finger...sent me to the waiting room...20 minutes later called me back......... he smiled Negative!
I just melted, cried , hugged the doctor then cried some more..I can't even begin to describe to relieve...I'm not gonna lie..later that day a wee intruder popped into my head saying could it be wrong...but I'm not going there..I'm negative!!!!
I just wanted anyone who is worried to know..that those symptoms or those worries maybe nothing or maybe something...don't torture yourself it is not worth it..I had really suffered over this...had my results been different I do not where I'd be now...!!
I'm sure I will continue to battle with anxiety...but this by far was the hardest thing for me as not only could this just in my mind..this could of been a reality
Be safe..and if in doubt just test.
Xox