elik
21-07-16, 17:25
Hi,
This is getting ridiculous now. I have completely isolated myself out. My anxiety has become me and I am enveloped in it. Every action I do I beat myself up every outlook every conversation I have I panic about. I'm developing social anxiety, not wanting to interact with others in order to avoid further anxiety explaining why I don't ever get close to people. I'm protecting others and am desperate to be the best and not be a burden but I'm the worst and such a burden. I can't even talk to my parents or best friend about it anymore without feeling stomach wrenchingly guilty about it. Even me pulling away from everyone I'm like what a horrible person. I almost feel sorry for myself, it's so tragic the life I lead. It's all conditioned into me and I have absolutely destroyed my confidence and self esteem let alone my severe lack of identity which just gives my anxious thoughts a free pass. I have to monitor everything to try and minimise future anxiety I.e. Feeling guilty for not being proactive, not being positive all the time, etc.
I can't live!
This is getting ridiculous now. I have completely isolated myself out. My anxiety has become me and I am enveloped in it. Every action I do I beat myself up every outlook every conversation I have I panic about. I'm developing social anxiety, not wanting to interact with others in order to avoid further anxiety explaining why I don't ever get close to people. I'm protecting others and am desperate to be the best and not be a burden but I'm the worst and such a burden. I can't even talk to my parents or best friend about it anymore without feeling stomach wrenchingly guilty about it. Even me pulling away from everyone I'm like what a horrible person. I almost feel sorry for myself, it's so tragic the life I lead. It's all conditioned into me and I have absolutely destroyed my confidence and self esteem let alone my severe lack of identity which just gives my anxious thoughts a free pass. I have to monitor everything to try and minimise future anxiety I.e. Feeling guilty for not being proactive, not being positive all the time, etc.
I can't live!