MissEmilia
22-07-16, 18:08
Hi everyone, apologies for the long post.
Just looking for advice really. Im a young lady in my early 20s and I've been working in my current job for quite a few years now. I've suffered from anxiety for about the same amount of time - one particular incident I had involved me being rushed to the local a&e because my anxiety made me go clammy/dizzy and i was getting chest pains. I ended up being there for 7 hours and the first thing my boss said afterwards was "will you be in work tomorrow?". I had some really low points while in the job. It's a public facing role which is very busy and we were getting a lot of angry, abusive people who went off on us because we were the people who sat at the reception desk. I felt suicidal, depressed, I began to feel like nobody at work liked me. I drank on nights before work to try and forget about things, but on a few occasions I turned up to work feeling nauseous and had to be sent home. My boss found out and I was warned about this behaviour, so I tried to get myself back on track. She referred me to occupational health who were great. They put me on sick for a month so I could focus on getting my health back on track, I started on medication and stopped drinking. When I came back to work I felt motivated and ready to give myself a second chance.
A few months later the job started to get worse. My boss put a lot of pressure on everyone, giving us more work and harsher deadlines. I didn't mind the extra work, but my boss wasn't very supportive and was quick to point out our flaws and rarely praised us. We began getting more customers too, and when we sat at the reception desk things got worse. The morale of my team had dropped, but we tried our best to stick together and carry on. I was still getting panic attacks but I had convinced myself this was what normal felt like in such a stressful job. A few months ago my boss told us that they were getting a promotion and that we would be getting a new supervisor. I applied for the role as I was worried about everyone. These people were my friends and I wanted to support them. I was concerned that I may not be taken seriously as I was the youngest member of the team but I went for it anyway.
Time went on and I got the interview, which I passed with flying colours. When my supervisor rang to tell me they were very excited and said I'd pretty much got full marks on the written application and the interview. I was overjoyed and was excited to tell everyone the following day. I was so looking forward to working with them!
The next day came and I was called into my boss' office. They were there alongside their supervisor. They had explained that when calling my team in for a meeting to tell them I'd got the role, a few members were unhappy. One individual in particular said they would hand their notice in if I were to take charge. I was upset by what had happened. I had never had confrontation with anyone on the team. I don't even know what was said to the supervisors and I doubt I ever will. They also told me they would have to retract the offer as someone within the team had brought their attention to a twitter post of mine from 6 months ago, in which I had called my supervisor a bitch. It was the day I had been in a&e, when I felt my absolute lowest. I know it was a stupid thing to do, and nothing I can say or do will ever justify it. The thing that got me was that I don't use my real name on twitter. I don't use my real picture and I have never stated on that account who I work for or what my boss' name is. I have kept it all as private as I can so I am just shocked that someone on my team had potentially been stalking me on twitter for the last 6 months.
As a result of everything that had happened, I handed in my notice and went on sick leave. I don't feel like I can work in that environment anymore and be around the people who have no faith in me. I can't fix the relationship with my old supervisor or with the others. I feel so anxious at the thought of being there so I've been looking for other jobs. My partner has been really supportive, we are fine financially for quite a while and he just wants me to get out of what he calls a "toxic environment" and be happy again. He says he's seen a change in me already over this last week.
Today though, I got a call from one of the high supervisors. She said that she was surprised I handed in my notice and was willing to let me retract it if I change my mind. The catch is that I only have until Monday to decide. Because of the whole twitter fiasco I am still under investigation regardless of whether I go back or not. If I went back I could later be sacked, if I don't go back and I need a reference from them they have warned that they have to be honest about what's happened. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to go back and give things another shot, but only because I miss my friends who were supportive and I don't want to become a financial drain on my partner. I have finally built up the courage to make the jump and if I were to go back i would just be retracting my notice a second time and people are just going to think I'm messing them about...I even hate having to type all of this because I know it makes me sound like a terrible person.
TL;DR - My anxiety started around the same time I started my job. I messed up 6 months ago by making a tweet where I called my supervisor a bitch. Someone reported me about it 6 months later when I got my supervisor's job. The role offer was retracted. Handed my notice in and went on sick leave, now a higher supervisor has said that I can retract my notice if I want. Has warned I am still under investigation - I have until Monday morning to decide whether I want to go back.
Just looking for advice really. Im a young lady in my early 20s and I've been working in my current job for quite a few years now. I've suffered from anxiety for about the same amount of time - one particular incident I had involved me being rushed to the local a&e because my anxiety made me go clammy/dizzy and i was getting chest pains. I ended up being there for 7 hours and the first thing my boss said afterwards was "will you be in work tomorrow?". I had some really low points while in the job. It's a public facing role which is very busy and we were getting a lot of angry, abusive people who went off on us because we were the people who sat at the reception desk. I felt suicidal, depressed, I began to feel like nobody at work liked me. I drank on nights before work to try and forget about things, but on a few occasions I turned up to work feeling nauseous and had to be sent home. My boss found out and I was warned about this behaviour, so I tried to get myself back on track. She referred me to occupational health who were great. They put me on sick for a month so I could focus on getting my health back on track, I started on medication and stopped drinking. When I came back to work I felt motivated and ready to give myself a second chance.
A few months later the job started to get worse. My boss put a lot of pressure on everyone, giving us more work and harsher deadlines. I didn't mind the extra work, but my boss wasn't very supportive and was quick to point out our flaws and rarely praised us. We began getting more customers too, and when we sat at the reception desk things got worse. The morale of my team had dropped, but we tried our best to stick together and carry on. I was still getting panic attacks but I had convinced myself this was what normal felt like in such a stressful job. A few months ago my boss told us that they were getting a promotion and that we would be getting a new supervisor. I applied for the role as I was worried about everyone. These people were my friends and I wanted to support them. I was concerned that I may not be taken seriously as I was the youngest member of the team but I went for it anyway.
Time went on and I got the interview, which I passed with flying colours. When my supervisor rang to tell me they were very excited and said I'd pretty much got full marks on the written application and the interview. I was overjoyed and was excited to tell everyone the following day. I was so looking forward to working with them!
The next day came and I was called into my boss' office. They were there alongside their supervisor. They had explained that when calling my team in for a meeting to tell them I'd got the role, a few members were unhappy. One individual in particular said they would hand their notice in if I were to take charge. I was upset by what had happened. I had never had confrontation with anyone on the team. I don't even know what was said to the supervisors and I doubt I ever will. They also told me they would have to retract the offer as someone within the team had brought their attention to a twitter post of mine from 6 months ago, in which I had called my supervisor a bitch. It was the day I had been in a&e, when I felt my absolute lowest. I know it was a stupid thing to do, and nothing I can say or do will ever justify it. The thing that got me was that I don't use my real name on twitter. I don't use my real picture and I have never stated on that account who I work for or what my boss' name is. I have kept it all as private as I can so I am just shocked that someone on my team had potentially been stalking me on twitter for the last 6 months.
As a result of everything that had happened, I handed in my notice and went on sick leave. I don't feel like I can work in that environment anymore and be around the people who have no faith in me. I can't fix the relationship with my old supervisor or with the others. I feel so anxious at the thought of being there so I've been looking for other jobs. My partner has been really supportive, we are fine financially for quite a while and he just wants me to get out of what he calls a "toxic environment" and be happy again. He says he's seen a change in me already over this last week.
Today though, I got a call from one of the high supervisors. She said that she was surprised I handed in my notice and was willing to let me retract it if I change my mind. The catch is that I only have until Monday to decide. Because of the whole twitter fiasco I am still under investigation regardless of whether I go back or not. If I went back I could later be sacked, if I don't go back and I need a reference from them they have warned that they have to be honest about what's happened. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to go back and give things another shot, but only because I miss my friends who were supportive and I don't want to become a financial drain on my partner. I have finally built up the courage to make the jump and if I were to go back i would just be retracting my notice a second time and people are just going to think I'm messing them about...I even hate having to type all of this because I know it makes me sound like a terrible person.
TL;DR - My anxiety started around the same time I started my job. I messed up 6 months ago by making a tweet where I called my supervisor a bitch. Someone reported me about it 6 months later when I got my supervisor's job. The role offer was retracted. Handed my notice in and went on sick leave, now a higher supervisor has said that I can retract my notice if I want. Has warned I am still under investigation - I have until Monday morning to decide whether I want to go back.