The dreaded in-laws!!

[DisgracedAngel]

I seem to have social anxiety in certain situations (as opposed to my 24/7 health anxiety issues). It all builds up and I feel really, really run down mentally and physically.

But my social anxiety is starting to rear it's ugly head when it comes to my in laws. My husband told me Monday that his mother invited us around for Sunday dinner and I've been dreading it. I guess I get on with them just fine despite some issues, but because he (my husband) isn't that close to his family and tries to keep his distance (for good reason), he doesn't really talk to them much and tends to stare at his phone the whole time we are visiting to avoid conversation, leaving me to make small talk with his mother, who really, really gets on my nerves. I want to hide behind my phone too but don't want to be rude :-( I can never seem to get.out of there fast enough. The husband feels the same but as he is the "saint" of the family, he can do no wrong and I am sure I am seen as the horrible daughter in law.

I am not looking forward to Sunday AT ALL. It just makes for an awkward, uncomfortable situation for me. Does anyone else tend to get a bit anxious when it comes to their in laws? I know this isn't something I can avoid...I did choose to marry into the family so i suppose I need to get over this!

[Lexilou]

My MIL drives me insane. Thankfully she lives quite far from us and since we only have cell phones now I don't have to talk to her. She drives DH nuts too and he knows it's hard on me to visit her. When my twins were 4 months old we took them to visit and I was trying to have some calm alone time with them and must have said something and she freaked out on me. I'm sure whatever I said wasn't rude but she's off her rocker sometimes. I was beyond shocked when DH said something to her and stood up for me. We left early the next morning and she proceeded to call my mom and complain about me. She has not gotten their new number! Can you tell your husband to put down his phone while you are visiting?

[DisgracedAngel]

I've told him how I felt about it and he just laughed and said I should do the same because that basically is his deterrent against them. I cant stand my MIL but I don't want to be rude. Part of me thinks screw it, don't care what she thinks either :-P

[Lexilou]

Maybe his phone could "get lost" right before you leave :winks: I can sympathize though. My husband is married to his phone sometimes. I finally got tired of him on it during Christmas get togethers and yelled at him. He's a little better now.

[DisgracedAngel]

I survived!
My husband was on his phone as per normal but his auntie was there (who I really don't mind at all, she is fab) and she also does a lot of the talking so it helped!
My MIL offered to drive me to see my SIL 's new place this week which put me in a bit of a corner because I don't like my SIL either (for good reasons by the way...I didn't just wake up and decide one day I didn't like my in-laws for the record) and I also couldn't fathom a trip in the car with her for that long. Thankfully I'm busy that day anyways so didn't have to lie to back out of it.

[Joonyer]

Hey angel - from an unbiased perspective, I'd say your SO needs to be more supportive and respectful of you here. If he knows this is a source of anxiety for you, he really needs to make the effort not to sit on his phone the whole time leaving you to take one for the team.

If it were me, I think I'd sit him down, phones away, and have an eye-to-eye conversation about just how much this is affecting you and how much you need his support in this. A relationship is about teamwork and if he does his part a little more, it should be better for you both.

Best of luck with future visits!

Matt