Lissy43
20-03-07, 12:03
I am so sorry to post on here but im sat here in tears, my daughter is fast asleep and my son is watching a dvd, I don't want them to see me like this.
Can I please put down exactly how im feeling because right now I feel so anxious I don't know where to turnhttp://www.baby-greenhouse.co.uk/smilies/sad.gif
I posted yesterday on about seeing my dr, didn't go well, I ended up feeling 10x worse for going and I now feel like he thought I was wasting his time. Yes he had man flu but he could of been abit more supportive. I haven't been to him and admitted how low I am for a long time so it was a shock when he said 'what do you want me to do?'http://www.baby-greenhouse.co.uk/smilies/sad.gif
Today I feel so low, I want to cry. Yes my grandad died sunday, maybe thats not helping matters. I just feel like there is no way out of this world I live in. I worry about my health again 24/7, I wake up every morning thinking 'oh what was I worrying about last night before I fell asleep?' and right now its my ear problems ive had for the last 2 months. I get myself in a state of worry as soon as I get up and then all day it eats away at me inside. I put on this happy exterior, I want to show everyone im this happy mummy but deep down im hurting more than anyone will ever know.
The thing is everyone says 'why do you worry? you are so lucky to have what you have got' yes I have a wonderful husband, 3 beautiful children, nice home and I want for nothing but if I could have 1 wish it would be for this dreadful health anxiety to go away. If this anxiety could go id be happy and id be able to live my life.
The anxiety is like living in a little bubble, noone else is in it and i walk around all day worrying in my head. It stops me being a good mum and a good wife. It sort of disables me, it stops me doing day to day normal things like cooking, cleaning, playing with my children etc... does that make sense?im not sure if it does but I kind of just can't do these things some days and its not right. I use to enjoy cleaning, cooking and eating but not with this anxiety, it is like living in my own little world and I feel like I can't talk to anyone.
I constantly feel tired at the moment, run down and even my apetite has gone so of course I lose weight and this all makes my anxiety worse.
I saw my dr yesterday and he wasn't really supportive at all, he wanted me to come back if the book didn't help, I read half of it last night and then it said it did not deal with health anxiety as its far more serious so I have to go back but he isn't free until next friday.
Today I feel abit scared because the thought of 'I don't see the point in being here anymore because I can't enjoy my life' has entered my head. This happened once 3 yrs ago, well far worse because I actually thought I might take my own life. I don't feel like that at all but I really do not see the point in living like this right now. I love my family so much and I do my best for them but living with this anxiety is crippling me at the moment.
I am not sure why ive had such a set back but I don't know what to do.:weep:
Can I please put down exactly how im feeling because right now I feel so anxious I don't know where to turnhttp://www.baby-greenhouse.co.uk/smilies/sad.gif
I posted yesterday on about seeing my dr, didn't go well, I ended up feeling 10x worse for going and I now feel like he thought I was wasting his time. Yes he had man flu but he could of been abit more supportive. I haven't been to him and admitted how low I am for a long time so it was a shock when he said 'what do you want me to do?'http://www.baby-greenhouse.co.uk/smilies/sad.gif
Today I feel so low, I want to cry. Yes my grandad died sunday, maybe thats not helping matters. I just feel like there is no way out of this world I live in. I worry about my health again 24/7, I wake up every morning thinking 'oh what was I worrying about last night before I fell asleep?' and right now its my ear problems ive had for the last 2 months. I get myself in a state of worry as soon as I get up and then all day it eats away at me inside. I put on this happy exterior, I want to show everyone im this happy mummy but deep down im hurting more than anyone will ever know.
The thing is everyone says 'why do you worry? you are so lucky to have what you have got' yes I have a wonderful husband, 3 beautiful children, nice home and I want for nothing but if I could have 1 wish it would be for this dreadful health anxiety to go away. If this anxiety could go id be happy and id be able to live my life.
The anxiety is like living in a little bubble, noone else is in it and i walk around all day worrying in my head. It stops me being a good mum and a good wife. It sort of disables me, it stops me doing day to day normal things like cooking, cleaning, playing with my children etc... does that make sense?im not sure if it does but I kind of just can't do these things some days and its not right. I use to enjoy cleaning, cooking and eating but not with this anxiety, it is like living in my own little world and I feel like I can't talk to anyone.
I constantly feel tired at the moment, run down and even my apetite has gone so of course I lose weight and this all makes my anxiety worse.
I saw my dr yesterday and he wasn't really supportive at all, he wanted me to come back if the book didn't help, I read half of it last night and then it said it did not deal with health anxiety as its far more serious so I have to go back but he isn't free until next friday.
Today I feel abit scared because the thought of 'I don't see the point in being here anymore because I can't enjoy my life' has entered my head. This happened once 3 yrs ago, well far worse because I actually thought I might take my own life. I don't feel like that at all but I really do not see the point in living like this right now. I love my family so much and I do my best for them but living with this anxiety is crippling me at the moment.
I am not sure why ive had such a set back but I don't know what to do.:weep: