existential crisis
20-03-07, 13:13
Hi guys,
This is going to sound like a weird one - so please bear with me. Basically what is bothering me at the moment is the fact that I feel like I have no sense of self. That might sound really abstract and weird but it is bothering me big time. It worries me mainly because of that sort of feeling being associated with personality disorders. I feel like I don't know who I am, like there is no 'me' - if that makes sense. Now, I have been doing the whole Claire Weekes thing and she explains a lot about personality disintegration, and I'm wondering whether how I feel is just a result of constantly being anxious and unsure in the past, or whether there is something seriously wrong with my personality. I know that I am probably not doing the Claire Weekes thing properly because if I was was I would be passing through this particular feeling without trying to look for a reason for it. Trouble is, this is something that is recurring and I am starting to wonder whether it is something to be concerned about. I do feel very detached a lot of the time, like I don't really have any real or normal emotions. I also feel 'different' from other people, I never feel part of anything and even when in company it is rare that I feel 'part of stuff'. I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense - it's a weird thing to try and describe. It's like I just don't know myself - like I'm just simply not normal. I also find it very hard to be natural around people because I am always so concerned with myself and what is going on in my head. I also find that there a lot of contradictions within my personality which cannot be reconciled with each other and that this inconsistency in myself causes me anxiety.
I have mentioned this to my Mental Health Nurse who just tried to explain it away and then went on to discharge me. Does anyone else have any experiences of feeling like this? Thanks for your replies. Clare. xxx
This is going to sound like a weird one - so please bear with me. Basically what is bothering me at the moment is the fact that I feel like I have no sense of self. That might sound really abstract and weird but it is bothering me big time. It worries me mainly because of that sort of feeling being associated with personality disorders. I feel like I don't know who I am, like there is no 'me' - if that makes sense. Now, I have been doing the whole Claire Weekes thing and she explains a lot about personality disintegration, and I'm wondering whether how I feel is just a result of constantly being anxious and unsure in the past, or whether there is something seriously wrong with my personality. I know that I am probably not doing the Claire Weekes thing properly because if I was was I would be passing through this particular feeling without trying to look for a reason for it. Trouble is, this is something that is recurring and I am starting to wonder whether it is something to be concerned about. I do feel very detached a lot of the time, like I don't really have any real or normal emotions. I also feel 'different' from other people, I never feel part of anything and even when in company it is rare that I feel 'part of stuff'. I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense - it's a weird thing to try and describe. It's like I just don't know myself - like I'm just simply not normal. I also find it very hard to be natural around people because I am always so concerned with myself and what is going on in my head. I also find that there a lot of contradictions within my personality which cannot be reconciled with each other and that this inconsistency in myself causes me anxiety.
I have mentioned this to my Mental Health Nurse who just tried to explain it away and then went on to discharge me. Does anyone else have any experiences of feeling like this? Thanks for your replies. Clare. xxx