Falling off the wagon

[SmithsFan]

Like most people who get on top of their HA for a while, I stopped visiting this site regularly. Now I find I'm back and not just that, i'm googling and checking and obsessing.

I'm nowhere near as bad as I was at my worst last year but I feel like an alcoholic who's had a drink for allowing myself to slide back into the state I am in.

The main focus (i also diagnose several heart attacks and cancers etc each week) of my HA is a succession of strange sensations (pain, tingling, cramping) in my left lower leg but I guess I need to stop thinking about that and accept anxiety is the main problem.

I think I came off anti-depressants too early and jumped back into a stressful business (over and above my day job) situation after extricating myself from such environments as I sought to get over my problems last year.

But I was feeling better so why shouldn't I have done that? Or so i thought. The problems didn't reappear immediately but I suppose I look back now and see this building for the past few months.

Back to getting on a plan, familiarising myself with my mantra again, removing myself from stressful situations and remembering that, like addiction, this is something that will be with me (us) our whole lives and that we can only ever manage it.

[KeeKee]

this is something that will be with me (us) our whole lives and that we can only ever manage it.

Not necessarily. I know of a couple of people who had temporary anxiety issues due to life events. Both these people now lead 'normal' lives. You never know one day this anxiety could be a thing of the long gone past for you and others on here. It's just getting to that point that is the hard part.

[SmithsFan]

Not necessarily. I know of a couple of people who had temporary anxiety issues due to life events. Both these people now lead 'normal' lives. You never know one day this anxiety could be a thing of the long gone past for you and others on here. It's just getting to that point that is the hard part.

True. I'm just angry at myself for letting my guard down and finding this is a more effective way for me to think in the future.

[Fishmanpa]

The positive is that you're totally aware of it and can make a rational decision based on what you know to be beneficial for yourself and your anxiety.

Positive thoughts

[KeeKee]

True. I'm just angry at myself for letting my guard down and finding this is a more effective way for me to think in the future.

I'm guilty of feeling this way in regards to my depression. I genuinely do not see an end in sight. Don't be angry at yourself.

[SmithsFan]

The positive is that you're totally aware of it and can make a rational decision based on what you know to be beneficial for yourself and your anxiety.

Positive thoughts

The realisation for me came when I started getting sharp pains all over my body. I remember that well from my worst period last year when I was convinced I had MS and couldn't work due to the state I was in. This time it made me think about how things had crept up on me and I had to start again.

Thanks for the words of support.

---------- Post added at 21:52 ---------- Previous post was at 21:49 ----------


I'm guilty of feeling this way in regards to my depression. I genuinely do not see an end in sight. Don't be angry at yourself.

The worst for me is the effect on my family. I had a realisation about everything that was really important to me and I still went ahead with a vanity project my wife wasn't happy about me taking on. That's what makes me feel guilty.