DreamSky
29-07-16, 14:14
Hello everyone.
I heard about this website some weeks ago and finally got the courage to write down and ask for support.
For 10 years that I feel I am an outsider. While everyone would go out, go to parties or even just for a simple friendly dinner, I would always find an excuse and stay home. This made me get distant from all my friends, my family and it is becoming harder and harder to go out of my confort zone.
I feel anxious all the time. I am anxious when going to work or even at work. I am anxious about where or with whom I will have lunch. I am anxious about going to exercise. etc etc.
I feel like my heart is constantly beating faster and I start crying easily.
For the last six months there has not been a day where I dont cry. Sure I have really happy moments, but my mood swings are affecting me and my family a lot. My parents dont know how to deal with me anymore.
During summer period there are so many festivities in town and I can't find enough stenght to go there for some fun. My family is constantly telling me I am a fun breaker and that i am old and dont know how to live life.
Truth is I can't tell them how I actually feel because they dont get it. I´ve tried to explain it several times and they get if for 2/3 days and afterwards we are back to the "old mentality home person".
I started seeing a psycologist some years ago, but it didnt help me until I gave up.
I believe the problem is all in my head. I am an healthy person. The problem is my mind never stops and i think too much. I try to keep busy but even soI can't find a way to move on and get better.
For example, tonight there is this big event in my home town. Millions of people are around. I would truly love to go there, but i feel so afraid. I wonder with whom could I go since I have no friends around, what I would do while there, what if I see people I know? I feel so scared of everything. So it is just easier to stay home and ignore everything around me.
But I want to fight this feeling.
I think it is time to start enjoying life, but all this fear is so "heavy" that is starts breaking me.
Are there any sugestions? For example, should I go out in town today? How can I deal with all these emotions and thoughts? I feel like there us a huge thunderstorm in my brain.
Thank you for reading about my worries.
I heard about this website some weeks ago and finally got the courage to write down and ask for support.
For 10 years that I feel I am an outsider. While everyone would go out, go to parties or even just for a simple friendly dinner, I would always find an excuse and stay home. This made me get distant from all my friends, my family and it is becoming harder and harder to go out of my confort zone.
I feel anxious all the time. I am anxious when going to work or even at work. I am anxious about where or with whom I will have lunch. I am anxious about going to exercise. etc etc.
I feel like my heart is constantly beating faster and I start crying easily.
For the last six months there has not been a day where I dont cry. Sure I have really happy moments, but my mood swings are affecting me and my family a lot. My parents dont know how to deal with me anymore.
During summer period there are so many festivities in town and I can't find enough stenght to go there for some fun. My family is constantly telling me I am a fun breaker and that i am old and dont know how to live life.
Truth is I can't tell them how I actually feel because they dont get it. I´ve tried to explain it several times and they get if for 2/3 days and afterwards we are back to the "old mentality home person".
I started seeing a psycologist some years ago, but it didnt help me until I gave up.
I believe the problem is all in my head. I am an healthy person. The problem is my mind never stops and i think too much. I try to keep busy but even soI can't find a way to move on and get better.
For example, tonight there is this big event in my home town. Millions of people are around. I would truly love to go there, but i feel so afraid. I wonder with whom could I go since I have no friends around, what I would do while there, what if I see people I know? I feel so scared of everything. So it is just easier to stay home and ignore everything around me.
But I want to fight this feeling.
I think it is time to start enjoying life, but all this fear is so "heavy" that is starts breaking me.
Are there any sugestions? For example, should I go out in town today? How can I deal with all these emotions and thoughts? I feel like there us a huge thunderstorm in my brain.
Thank you for reading about my worries.