worried

[loulou]

Hi All,

Im going away on the weekend to my aunties caravan, im very close to my aunite and uncle and usualy they are like my security blanket but for some reason im really worried about going away in case i get anxiety because a few years ago i went out for a chinese meal with my aunt and uncle and whilst there i felt rough and had to go home, and im worried what do i do if i get there and start panicking and it caused me to feel depressed and then ill be embarrsed to say i want to go home I know these thoughts are pathetic im 25 years of age and love spending time with my aunt, uncle and cousins so why am i feeling like this. to make things worse my mum and dad had a terrible row sunday so yesterday my dad got drunk and phoned me at work shouting and saying horrible things about my mum and me (which i know was the drink talking but still hurts) its left me feeling panicky and down and im worried im going to be like this for ever, My mum and dad are fine now but im worried why cant i be like everyone else and let my mum and dad jut get on with it i know they will be fine the next day but i still worry about them (they have been violent to each other in the past but thats has stoped now) the thing is im 25 next week and feel like this shouldnt be effecting me so much but im soo insecure at the moment when really im an adult but dont feel like one. Im scared ill be like this forever and will never learn to stand on my own two feet.

Sorry this is a long post but needed to get it off my chest

[happyone]

Loulou,

Try not to worry about what age you are hun. I totally understand where you are coming from with this one. I left home at 24 and I can definately trace my anxiety back to what went on at home. Don't get me wrong, I had good parents, but certain aspects of home life was not ideal. I spent so so much time worrying about my parents and even when I left, I worried about them.
I have to say, for me leaving home was the best thing I could have done, but it left it's legacy. my anxiety just morphed into new forms, worrying about new things. However, I was able eventually to realise my parents were adults and I just had to let them get on with it.
I understand completely your hurt about your dad saying nasty things under the influence of drink. Many a nasty hurtful thing I have had said to me over the years that have been put down to 'the drink talking' it still hurts hunny and it is no excuse.

Go to your aunts, try to have a good time. Remember, all anxiety eventually dissapates so if you should feel anxious, let it come, it cannot and will not harm you.

im soo insecure at the moment when really im an adult but dont feel like one. We are all a child inside Loulou. Age is a physical thing. You can be insecure at any age.Try not to beat yourself up. Ok you are 24. I am nearly 36! Anxiety is not really a respecter of age.

Take care

happyone
xx