Please give me some encouragement!

[Mojo61]

Hi my lovely friends I'm really struggling here. I'm just a couple of days off 4 weeks on 20mg (previously on 10mg for 12 weeks) and I'm just not seeing any progress. If anything I feel worse, more depressed, as miserable as sin, no motivation, fuzzy headed, no appetite, not sleeping...

Now my poor son, who honestly believed I was getting better, has started worrying about me again, constantly asking me if I'm OK and wanting reassurance that I'm not "going to do anything stupid" I've told him of course not, it just takes time for the tablets to work and I just have to keep going. But honestly I dread every day because I wake up at about 5am and it is such a long day to get through before I go to bed at about 11pm. I just don't know how I'm getting through these days, I just know I am, but I yearn for the night to come around quickly so I can get a few hours respite from the mental torment. I'm really suffering here...

Please tell me this will get better, that it's early days still and I need to just hang on in there and soon I will start feeling better and not have this awful feeling on me all day? It feels like there is a concrete weight on my chest all the time, an actual physical weight that is pressing down and smothering me. I just don't know what to do any more - why am I not getting any better???

So sorry to keep making a fuss and moaning when I know you are all going through your own struggles, but I'm yet again stuck on my own in front of the TV until I finally fall asleep through sheer exhaustion...

So sorry... :weep::weep::weep:

[pollynewsome]

Hey Mojo dont be sorry , you are right we are all struggling but we all need that support and so just get it off your chest and say whatever you need if it helps.. Are you in UK?
What is your doc saying?? stick at the 20mg for the 12 week.. i know thats what my doc told me to do and i have improved a bit but nothing like i used to be. in fact i was away last week and no symptoms at all. i have come back today and omg.. so bad. like you said the weight on chest and cant breath etc its just crazy and far worse than its been in past. I keep wondering if i should carry on with the meds. im like you never needed anti ds before for anything.. My anxiety had been building for a bout 2 years but just got worse.. Did you have no trigger or anything?? its so annoying i know and makes you feel so ill. keep strong and chin up.. I guess it is still early days for you but any doubts go to doc..

[Mojo61]

Thank you Polly, and I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling too. The most frustrating thing is that I know this isn't a physical illness, like the flu or a bad infection, it is all in my mind yet I can't seem to be able to stop it. I know for a fact it's in my mind because when my neighbour was taken suddenly ill recently and his wife came running to my door begging for help, all the anxiety disappeared immediately and I was perfectly normal and rational. In fact the ambulance men kept saying how calm and composed I was (his wife was panicking like crazy) yet the moment they took him off in the ambulance and I came back indoors all the horrible feelings returned. Why???

Also, why do I feel "normal" when it gets dark but back to a shivering, quivering wreck the next morning again? I swear if it wasn't for those reprieves I would have given up ages ago. They are all I look forward to now and I'm wishing my life away waiting for nightfall.

I haven't seen my Dr since the increase a month ago, he just said see how you get on.

[pollynewsome]

Its totally crazy! i get what you are saying about when you are totally fixed on something else the thoughts arnt there.. but what i dont get with me is that last week i was in all the situations that freak me out and thats been amongst people i love and scared they will see i am suffering and also no distractions for when i am freaking out.. eg at home i would get up and clean or get my laptop or anything just to try take my mind off thinking about how i feel.. mostly i garden but whilst away i could do none of those things but i never once needed too.. it was like it had just gone.. i even thought about it not being there and that would usually trigger it to come.. but nothing. It just was not there at all,, yet today i come home and never once left me.. there all day and so so bad.. really confusing..
The doctor told me its about training your brain to think differently but its so hard.. mindfulness and stuff but it does nowt for me..i have had hypnotherapy didnt work.. ive had counselling didnt work..Ive read books (helped but not cured) I am seriously thinking of stopping the cit with help of docs and see how i feel.. cos mine is nearly all physical symptoms. Well thats how it feels but i guess i wake up and think do i need to take a deep breath and then for me the cycle starts. If i cant get that satisfying deep breath than i have to keep trying till i can.. this means that i end up with a tight chest and tension in head and neck etc.. oh its never ending.. Why us??

[Shazamataz]

Hey Mojo, sorry things aren't improving yet :(

I'm on a similar timeframe to you from starting my venlafaxine. 4 weeks yesterday.

By week three I was noticing improvements and my sleep improved also. I was waking early but instead of lying there with waves of anxiety I was managing to actually go back into a deep sleep until getting up time. It was lovely.

But the past few days have been bad again, early waking, waves of tingles and burning all over, nausea, terrible dry mouth. This started bacon on Thursday after three days where I'd been out and about more, further afield (you know I was having issues with driving very far), doing more. I'd like to think it's just a blip. Yesterday was not as bad as Thursday and Friday and I went to bed last night feeling quite good.

But woke at 5.45, tried to go back to sleep and all the physical feelings hit. These physical symptoms sure are not nice. I am having trouble believing that they are all anxiety as I do have health issues and my previous anxiety never felt like this.

I guess we just have to keep pushing on?

Hugs

[Mojo61]

But why do we feel like this? Has some kind of chemical change taken place in our brains? I just can't understand how I could have gone to bed "normal" on that night last November, and wake up with this terrible affliction the next morning. How can that even happen without any warning?

---------- Post added at 21:32 ---------- Previous post was at 21:31 ----------

It was like something took over my body that night, and whatever it was is still firmly in residence

[dale12345]

It will get better.

[Mojo61]

I'm finding that increasingly difficult to believe I'm afraid Dale

[Shazamataz]

But why do we feel like this? Has some kind of chemical change taken place in our brains? I just can't understand how I could have gone to bed "normal" on that night last November, and wake up with this terrible affliction the next morning. How can that even happen without any warning?

---------- Post added at 21:32 ---------- Previous post was at 21:31 ----------

It was like something took over my body that night, and whatever it was is still firmly in residence

I feel a bit similar, though I've had anxiety for years, just not like this. I know what started mine. The panic attacks started on the one year anniversary of watching my father die. The year was very stressful with family breakups and all the mess that goes with losing your last parent. My old dog was also going down hill and he was put to sleep a couple months after this all started.

However, I actually blame the SSRIs (sertraline then citalopram) for causing me to have severe GAD as opposed to panic attacks. A month of being really ill on those over xmas and I've never been right since.

What I'm struggling with is making progress and falling right back again and again. But we just have to keep on keeping on don't we?

---------- Post added at 08:55 ---------- Previous post was at 08:53 ----------


I'm finding that increasingly difficult to believe I'm afraid Dale

I'm in the same place, it's been MONTHS, about the same length of time as you, and I am so fed up with it. I've tried doing the just letting the feelings be and getting on with things, not reacting to them, telling them 'I'm bored of you now', but it's not easing.

I so hope we all find relief soon!

xx

[spiral]

Hi Mojo,

What else are you trying as well as the medication? The citaloram will help but it won't fix the anxiety alone.

I just downloaded an app on my phone which is quite helpful. It's free - it's called 'Stop Panic and Anxiety' by Excel at Life.

[Victory2016]

Mojoooooooooooo!!!! Uhhh I so wish I was hearing good news from you. I think you need to rip off those HRT patches. I really think they are causing your issues and the Cit won't fix that. Keep going because at some point you will feel better. Like is said before this is just a season of your life and it shall pass. It may take longer then we all want, but we will all get there :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Bike Rider]

You will feel better, it takes time. My Cit 20mg at first, took 10 weeks to kick in but not enough so upped it to 40mg, this took a further 6 weeks to work, but feel great now.

Get out and walk or if you can, jog, as exercise helps to release the good hormones in the brain. Try meditation, I did and again it helped by giving the brain some relax time, www.headspace.com.

Think of positive thought's to replace the negative ones, rather like a mantra said over and over, but with positive words ( It will get better, rather than, It might get better) this area in the brain is like a well worn path through a field of grass, you have to make a new path and let the other grow over. Its not easy but if you dont give up and make a point of doing these things each day, it will work.

[Mojo61]

Thank you for your encouraging words Bike Rider. I'm so pleased that you are better too, you deserve it :flowers:

[sidiam]

Sorry everybody is struggling...so am I.... can't wait until bedtime...
I'm hoping to go back on citalopram asap. It used to work well for me, then circumstances (new docs.) changed me to firstly venlafaxine and then escitalopram, not been doing well for a long time now so maybe citalopram will change things. So very tired of fighting through everyday..in fact just so very tired.
take care

---------- Post added at 19:57 ---------- Previous post was at 19:52 ----------

thanks Bing,
I've tried just about everything. Sometimes they work sometimes not.
Sxx

[Suziewuzie]

I just downloaded an app on my phone which is quite helpful. It's free - it's called 'Stop Panic and Anxiety' by Excel at Life.

This app saved my life when my anxiety was at its worst, I still listen to the audios a couple of times a werk now - I can't praise it enough!
Mojo do you want me to post you any of my anxiety books??
Try to stop thinking that "whatever has taken residence in your body is still there" It's YOUR body and your mind, it's just not in the best shape right now. You are no different to the billions of other people who have got through this, it's just taking a little longer. It happened quickly for me because I have a full time job to distract me all day every day, without that I'm sure that I'd still be suffering too. I know that you're not sleeping well lately and that's not helping either - get a two week supply of sleeping tablets ans get yourself a good nights sleep, you can't recharge when you're running on empty xx