Need help , views and opinions are appreciated

[Rohit]

Hi,

I am Rohit , I am 36 years old and I work in the IT industry. I have a lovely family , stay with my parents and my wife and kid.

Over the past 2 months , I have developed severe anxiety especially while travelling to and fro from work.

I used to take public transport earlier but because of severe anxiety in crowded trains , I stopped taking them. There were so many cases , where I got down before my destination and took a cab.

It went on for few weeks , then I had a panic attack in a cab , in traffic. I couldn't breathe and I begged the cab driver to take me to a doctor , but he couldn't do anything as we were in the middle of a long traffic jam.The experience left me with the feeling of dread.

Since then , I am extremely afraid of traffic and the city where I stay in , its very difficult to avoid traffic.

Its like I am gasping for solutions. I have even shifted workplaces , to an office closer to home. It went well for couple of weeks but started having panic attacks again in traffic.

There was an occasion when I asked my father to pick me up from work. Imagine a 36 year old guy , who is a father himself , is requesting his father to pick him up from work.

I am ashamed of myself , I know its just thoughts , I know its just fear but its unbearable.I have got all the physical checks done , all normal.

Even hiring a driver has not helped and now I have requested my wife to accompany me , to and fro from work.

I used to smoke and drink earlier , I have quit and I have no problems quitting them.

Its killing.

I am not sure if I am depressed because I don't feel depressed but the psychiatrist I visited told me I am depressed and gave me medicines but I don't want to rely on medication.

I don't have any anxiety at work , I don't have problems dealing with difficult clients or colleagues , even getting into an argument but the thought of being in traffic with heavy rains around simply destroys me.

I am even contemplating quitting my job and taking up a low paying job near my house where I can simply walk to work and come back walking.

But its like my career in IT being destroyed but the thought of being closer to my parents , my wife and my kid , makes me feel so secure.

I simply don't know what to do and I have no solutions.

I don't want to take medications , do you think its a good idea ?

I am sorry its a long post but I am looking for different views from the folks at this forum as I don't have friends with whom I can share what I going through and seek their opinion.

Thanks for reading.

[Mermaid16]

Hi Rohit! I am having a similar experience. Although with my case I can drive with passengers in the car, but not alone with my young children. I panic that I will panic and have an accident with them in the car, yet I can drive in the car with them as passengers as long as someone else is in the car with me. I have so far avoided the situation as you have. I make sure my mum or someone else accompanies me or picks them up for me. The psychiatrist says I have panic disorder with agoraphobia. I am still trying to deal with it. I think what we do is called avoidance and that fuels the panic and makes it worse. I do a lot of reading and found out about a lady called Dr Claire Weekes who specialises in anxiety. If you go to her Facebook page, you will find some information and the second entry links to a book you can read online. I have only just begun reading it, but so far it makes sense and has helped. Just try to remember to be patient. I try and practice belly breathing and also relaxation meditation. I think this has helped my general anxiety and also gives you something to fall back on when you are in the actual panic attack. Good luck on your journey. It will get better.

[Rohit]

Thank you for sharing your views and your reply.

I can drive a car , if someone is there with me.I need someone from my family with me.

I just cant take public transport anymore.

I feel like quitting my job and spending 3 months , exercising , correcting my lifestyle and hope that it improves my self esteem.

BTW my psychiatrist also said , it happens because of low serotonin levels.

I hope you get better too.

[Kuatir]

The issue is with public transport. So you need to address that issue. I don't think quitting your job is the answer. Maybe some time off might give you a bit of a breather, but you need to try not to avoid the problem too long. Mindfullness exercises would help, I think, but also some CBT to help your thinking. As for the medication, it can definitely help, but sometimes finding what works for you can take time.

[Rohit]

Thank you for your reply.

I know medication can help but I don't want to take medicines to deal with this problem.

I have now fallen to level , where I have hired a driver and my mom drops me to work and wife picks me up from work.

I simply cannot handle travelling and traffic , without the presence of someone from my family.

Its killing.