Elad
04-08-16, 16:51
After a traumatic event last year I've found stress and anxiety just piling its way up and up. 10 weeks from now I will probably find myself the most stressed I've ever felt in my life. Up until now a lot of my stress has come from imagined situations, making out minor situations to be catastrophic when they're not and things that aren't even real. But the situation I find myself in is known to be a very daunting and stressful experience even to those not suffering from any mental health problems or anxiety.
I've tried to get out of the situation but I can't, I have no choice but to go through with it, the only escape would be death. When this gets piled onto the stress and anxiety I already face from my ill mental health I'm finding myself overwhelmed, I'm constantly lashing out at others although I'm mostly lashing out at myself through self harm.
I just really don't know how to cope right now and any advice would be appreciated, no matter how simple because I really don't have any healthy coping mechanisms right now. The only healthy coping mechanism I have right now is that if I'm awake late at night and feeling overwhelmed I'll go out into the garden hoping for a clear night sky, a nice cool breeze and a lovely cup of tea to go with it.
I have no current thoughts of suicide but I did attempt suicide a few months ago and even though I'm not currently suicidal I still hate that my unconscious brains idea was to leave the area I'd isolated myself in where I was then found and must have been acting strange. My next memory after I blanked was waking up in the ICU at my local hospital, I was asked by a psychologist what my first thoughts were when I woke up and realised what had happened. I was disappointed, I was angry at the human will to survive and should have tied myself to somewhere so that when I blacked out I couldn't seek help.
I've tried to get out of the situation but I can't, I have no choice but to go through with it, the only escape would be death. When this gets piled onto the stress and anxiety I already face from my ill mental health I'm finding myself overwhelmed, I'm constantly lashing out at others although I'm mostly lashing out at myself through self harm.
I just really don't know how to cope right now and any advice would be appreciated, no matter how simple because I really don't have any healthy coping mechanisms right now. The only healthy coping mechanism I have right now is that if I'm awake late at night and feeling overwhelmed I'll go out into the garden hoping for a clear night sky, a nice cool breeze and a lovely cup of tea to go with it.
I have no current thoughts of suicide but I did attempt suicide a few months ago and even though I'm not currently suicidal I still hate that my unconscious brains idea was to leave the area I'd isolated myself in where I was then found and must have been acting strange. My next memory after I blanked was waking up in the ICU at my local hospital, I was asked by a psychologist what my first thoughts were when I woke up and realised what had happened. I was disappointed, I was angry at the human will to survive and should have tied myself to somewhere so that when I blacked out I couldn't seek help.