I don't wanna think these thoughts anymore

[Mrschurchill]

I am so down with my HA. I am so convinced my beautiful wee girl is ill that it's killing me.
I've just noticed 2 pin sized bruises on her chest - literally a milimetre size - and I've spiralled.
The past 2 days have been better as she's lost her cold and I've been feeling good! But smack back to the bottom if not lower since I seen those.
I don't want my daughter to get cancer. She's 3... I don't want her to get sick! I'm not coping at all :weep:

[Mrschurchill]

Is this petachie?

[Mojo61]

Oh bless you. I know how you feel because I worry about my son too, and he's nearly 19!!!

They don't look like petachaie to me, just tiny bruises. Do they fade if you press a glass on them?

[Mrschurchill]

I haven't tried as its on her chest and she's sleeping at the moment. I snuck into her bedroom like a crazy person to get the pic!
I am inconsolable at this stage... My other half is away out for another 2 hours and I'm sitting in my livingroom thinking my daughter is gonna be taken from me. I can't cope, my anxiety is the worst its ever been and I'm not even worrying about me! :(

[KeeKee]

They don't look like petachaie to me, just tiny bruises. Do they fade if you press a glass on them?

You can get marks that look identical to this and DON'T fade as I get them occasionally. When my health anxiety was at its worst I even went to the doctors about them and was told we all get them at times.

Petechiae is absolutely unmistakable. This is not Petechiae. My GP showed me a picture of Petechiae and it was nauseating

---------- Post added at 20:28 ---------- Previous post was at 20:26 ----------

Mrschurchill I know it's hard, but if it was something serious she wouldn't just have 2 of those. I have a small collection around where my underwear rubs. I also get random ones on my arms. It does still worry me momentarily but I know that anything serious would progress rapidly or be widespread.

[Fishmanpa]

I feel for you :( We all worry about our children. My two are adults and that feeling never wavers, but to be worried to the point of not being able to enjoy being a mom or your child has to be hard.

Are you doing anything at the moment to help yourself with your anxiety?

Positive thoughts

[Mrschurchill]

I'm currently waiting on counselling but I've heard it can take up to 6 months to be referred. It definitely is stopping me from enjoying my life with her. I am obsessed with checking her forehead and body for a fever or scanning for bruises. I must ask her 10 times a day 'how are you feeling?' Like WTF even is that? She's 3 and a half and doesn't deserve this.

Fishmanpa I get so much comfort in your posts. I love when you say 'it doesn't stop and start' when you're referring to cancer. So many times I've read your posts and been so reassured. You're such an asset to this page!

[Fishmanpa]

Thanks Mrs C...

She's fine... you're obviously not. You need to find a way to distract yourself from these irrational thoughts.

You're right, at 3 she probably doesn't really understand why Mommy keeps asking her how she's feeling and it can only serve to be a negative influence in the long run.... If Mommy keeps asking me how I feel, she must think there's something wrong wrong with me. Is there something wrong with me?.... etc....

Maybe, when you get the urge to ask her how she's feeling, ask for a hug and leave it at that? :) It serves two purposes, shows her you love her and stops you from asking.

Also, look into some of the free coping tools and such on-line (CBT etc.) and when you feel that urge, practice a technique or read about ways to help yourself while you're waiting for therapy.

Most of all... enjoy your little one. Time goes by SO fast and they're only like this for a little while :)

Positive thoughts

[Mrschurchill]

Thank you!

I'm gonna try my hardest because she doesn't deserve this and like you said, doesn't understand it. I never want my anxiety to be passed to her so I need to man up, stop asking if she's ok and start living for the beautiful wee person that she is.

Here's a wee pic of her : Iona aged 3 and a half - my reason for keeping going!

[Mojo61]

She's a beautiful little girl. You must be so proud! :D:D:D

[Mrschurchill]

Thanks mojo. She's the light of my life!

[Fishmanpa]

Awww... what a cutie! Yep... healing from your anxiety is a priority for you and for your little one :)

Positive thoughts

[Mrschurchill]

Have woken with a bit more of a rational head. She's feeling and looking absolutely fine. I still have the devil on my shoulder but if my other half isn't worrying then I shouldn't be either.