Cancer fear

[chatty girl]

Hi guys, been a little while since I have posted and up until today I thought I had put my bowel/colon cancer fear to bed.

Cut a long story short I have had bad piles since having my son 4 years ago, bleed, hurt and itch but for some time now after switching to softer loo roll they have been good. I can't remember exactly when but I had unexplained bleeding without opening my bowels. Health anxiety rocketed (its al on here somewhere ) to the point I paid to see a private specialist who said he was sure nothing was wrong but sent me for a flexible sigmoidoscopy on the NHS. Finally had that done about 3 weeks ago, no more bleeding, and it was all normal. Brilliant.

Then today happens, we went to a family bbq last night, I drank way to much and ate lots of awful food. 3am this morning my tummy new it, half alseep not alot of care was taken wiping. Anyway today there is blood every time I touch wipe my bottom, I've been to the toilet numerous times and its so sore.

Now the fear is back, now I'm unable to believe its my piles or a tear, what if they missed something, should I have had the colonoscopy instead, you name it everything is back and all I want to do is cry. I feel awful because I'm hungover but as far as I'm concerned its all to do with cancer.

I know there's nothing any of you can say because we are all the same, I just needed to talk to you guys who understand. I'm going to the doctors tomorrow but we a know what they are going to say.

I hate myself so much and I hate how this consumes me and stops me being the best mummy I can be to my baby, especially if I'm going to die and he won't even remember me.

Thanks for listening and sorry for going on.

Xx

[ServerError]

If you read back through your post, you'd see that you already know the answer here. Fresh blood is rarely a worrying sign anyway. But you've given a pretty clear explanation as to why you might be experiencing some bleeding. I'm sure you're absolutely fine.

[blackbroom]

If you'd had the colonoscopy, your HA brain still wouldn't have been calmed - you'd be thinking "What if they didn't put the camera up far enough? What if they didn't film the whole way round and missed a spot?"

I know how frightening it is when your anxiety takes hold of you like this. Try to focus on the facts that (a) you have a history of severe piles, so this is not unexplained, unexpected bleeding that's come from nowhere (b) the specialist was sure there was nothing wrong, even before you had the sigmoidoscopy. Trust his judgement. There's a reason why he's a specialist (c) the sigmoidoscopy found nothing (d) there's a clear and innocent reason why your digestive system's been upset - the change to your normal dietary habits at the barbecue

Easier said than done, I know.

[RomanHAL]

I can relate to what you describe. Gosh, this forum is filled with people like me.

I went through the same. When I moved from my old apartment just at the end of February this year, I noticed bleeding from my bottom when I wiped it. It went on an on for weeks until I finally couldn't handle it anymore. I called my GP and he sent me to a gastroenterologist. However, I was told I would get a sigmoidoscopy. I felt it wouldn't suffice, but my health insurance refused to pay for a colonoscopy (too young, no bowel cancer known from the side of my family), so I payed for it at my own. Long story short: it's nothing. I had some pretty hard stool which injured my bottom, thats about it. That's why there's blood (still, up to this day) and pain whenever the stool is a little bit 'harder' than it should be.

As you seem to know, fresh blood (light red / red) has it's origin somewhere at the end of the gastrointestinal tract. Combined with the pain you describe (I guess it's located in the same area where I experienced it...at the 'exit' so to say) it makes perfect sense: it's hurt. But there really shouldn't be more about it rather than a little injury. If I lost the point in the middle of nowhere - sorry for that, English isn't my first language. (Unfortunately).

[MyNameIsTerry]

Alcohol aggravates roids too. That may explain a flare up but to be honest I suspect it's more likely you having the runs. I remember another member not long ago explaining how their doctor told them loose bowel movements actually irritated roids because they were more acidic.

I've had roids for nearly 20 years. I'm still here. They have their flare ups, although that was more common in my twenties for some reason. When I have loose bowel movements it does cause them to swell, just add the other member's doctor told them.

Going multiple times impacts them too as you know. Lots more wiping, straining etc. And I found loose movements did leave me sore.

As others have said, you have answered this yourself. Your obviously having a bit of an anxiety flare up and it's causing this worry over cancer. Please don't berate yourself for this, learning to change your reactions is hard work and takes time. It doesn't mean you aren't a brilliant mum, negative thinking is likely making you feel this way when your family are likely not thinking the same.

[chatty girl]

Thanks for your replies guys. I wish I could just stop worrying and get on with it! After I posted this it did stop for afew days then we came on holiday to wales. No painful bowel movement but quite hard hotel toilet roll and now for days every time I go its there when I wipe, even used wet wipes but made no difference. Surely this isn't right!?

RomanHAL thank you sounds very similar to what I have. Do you still bleed now?

Flipp did you have your colonoscopy?

Xx

[Fishmanpa]

Alcohol and crappy food does wonders for your stomach and bowels... NOT! ~lol~

As was stated, you know exactly what's going on. I wish there were words of reassurance that could help but this is a case where you have to talk back to your anxiety and tell it to STFU! (and lay off the crappy food and booze ;) )

Positive thoughts

[tjb113]

Sounds like hemorrhoids to be honest. As someone who has had this same anxiety many times (I have lynch syndrome so my risk of colon cancer is high) this is generally what it comes down too. Once they start they can often be hard to get rid of, and the creams and such generally only help ease symptoms but they do not get rid of them. Generally they only go away in time or they have to be removed by a gastro using banding.

The symptom severity does come and go though and the things you mentioned are definite factors that can aggravate them; poor wiping, alcohol and a lot of food, really poor toilet paper. I did some work for the county once a few years back and they had the worst toilet paper in the world. It took a day or two of working there before mine were acting up and I was seeing blood on the paper. Took a good week or so before things settled down, but of course I panicked, had a lot of meaningless tests and a colonoscopy but everything was fine, all they found were the hemorrhoids.

[chatty girl]

Thank you for replying, I'm going back to see the doctor tomorrow hopefully if I can get an appointment. The doctor I usually like to see is off so it will be not one of my favourable ones!

I really thought after the sigmoidoscopy I'd be able to except it's just piles but I just cant xx

[chatty girl]

I went and saw a different doctor today and laid everything on the table even the fact that it was in such a state last night I was thinking of ways to pay to go and see the specialist privately again!

He was very kind, he's the only doctor that has said when they did my sigmoidoscopy they went further than usually pretty much just a short amount off what a colonoscopy would do, I asked why they would do that and he said if they can why not. He also said they took a picture right near the bottom of my bowel which could have been enlarged veins or piles, I dunno but for now I feel abit reassured again. He's also given me cream and suppositories. I've just put some cream on and it blinking stings!!!!

I've rung the specialist secretary again and left another message! I guess thats all I can do.

Xx

[Walking With Anxiety]

I am sorry that you are having a tough time at the moment. I can relate to your worry about health, I go through the same process you do. It doesn't even help that my wife is a nurse (I often wonder if I subconsciously found her on purpose).

I agree with what the others have said on here, but as you said, it won't convince your anxious mind.

I hope you can put it to rest soon.