RobTheRobot
08-08-16, 10:26
Hi everyone. This is my first post here. Been lurking for a while so thought I should contribute.
I thought I would post here to share my experience so far on Citalopram, both for myself and others. It's early days but things haven't been great.
A little background: I suffered from Anxiety pretty badly around 4 years ago after job redundancy and staying at home too often. This led to bad migraines also. I went to my doctor who prescribed beta-blockers which didn't agree with my system at all. I didn't take the beta-blockers afer trying for a few days. I eventually got a new job, and while it was hell to begin with, the anxiety seemed to disappear on it's own.
Not to say I have been fully cured in this timeframe. Things would still make me edgy and uncomfortable, such as trains and queues. Every now and then, when out for a walk for example, I could feel the onsets of panic attacks but I was able to keep things under control.
Fast forward to a month ago and the anxiety has returned, intensified and crippling. This was a gradual build up as I noticed I couldn't sit at public places too long without feeling uncomfortable. There were 3 main low points that made me see my doctor again:
1. I couldn't enjoy my daughter's school play because all I thought about was my health and how I wanted to run out of the school to get fresh air
2. During a family dinner, I had a panic attack which led me to the resteraunt's toilets in a state of total doom for 15 minutes
3. The following day at work, I left after sitting down for 15 minutes as the panic onset returned.
I contribute this to so much going on in the previous year of my life.. I got married, bought a home, was promoted in work, and finished a long court ordeal to get my kids at weekends. Some of these things, you would think, should make a guy happy. I just worried the whole time... and I think it's the main contributor to my anxiety. This, along with health worries. I over-analyze my body way to much when something isn't right.
So, I went back to my doctor, who again prescribed me beta-blockers. I tried again for a few days, and it didn't help again. These always made me feel awful in afternoons. After the trial, my doctor wasn't in the clinic and instead I visited another doctor, who put me on slow release beta-blockers.
I was a little hesitant at first to try these but I went ahead. Again, same result. Felt awful by afternoon and I had to stop taking them.
One Saturday night, I felt completely overwhelmed and sick with the anxiety. I couldn't enjoy time I had with my son and thought I was going out of my mind. A phone call to a very sarcastic out-of-hours doctor later, and I'm prescribed 7x 2mg Diazepam tablets. I'd never taken Valium before, and was apprehensive. My wife picked up the prescription and I took 1 2mg tablet that night. The relief I got felt like a small miracle.
Not wanting to abuse these tablets, as I've heard of the addiction horror stories, I called my own doctor again a few days later, wanting to tell him I was prescribed Diazepam and what he thought I should do. He said my body needed the rest, and he was happy to hear they helped. He presicribed 28 more tablets, up to 3 times a day for Anxiety.
The problem being, I'm pretty sure by this point its generalized anxiety. I was (and still am) waking up every morning feeling anxious, I wasn't taking breaks in work with friends and not walking far from work. One particular episode occured when I went to 2 shops during my lunch break and had to run out while standing in the queue, placing the items back on my way out the door. I was gripped bad by anxiety and embarressed about running out, looking like a fool.
This is maybe my downfall; I am still apprehensive about taking Diazepam. While in work, when I feel the Anxiety reach a point where I can't cope, I'll break a tablet in half and take it. I fear I'll develop addiction. Half a tablet doesn't do much now and just last week I took 1 and a half (3mg) diazepam and felt awful about myself afterwards. Work colleagues, I fear, can also tell when im on valium, as my eyes glaze over and I don't really communicate.
With all this becoming too much, I called my doctor again, who advised I should go on an antidepressant. I was prescribed 10mg Citalopram. This is where my experience diary starts.
My doctor was forthcoming regarding side effects, but only listed 2... headaches and feeling "sick". He said this will pass after 2 weeks.. and wanted me to make an appointment for 2 weeks time to see him after I'd taken my daily doses. Problem was, I called back to make the appointment and turns out he is on annual leave in 2 weeks, so I'll be seeing him 1 week after the initial doses.
I took dose 1 on Saturday night around 7pm. I had no side effects except feeling a little hot / sweaty and also a mild headache. I woke up on Sunday morning feeling extra tired but nothing I couldn't deal with.
On Sunday I had family lunch (in the same resteraunt where I had a panic attack) and my anxiety was pretty bad. I had difficulty speaking correctly and remained silent for much of the conversation / dinner. My hands also couldn't stay still.. like I always needed to be touching something on the table.. or my face. It was a bad experience, but I made it through.
I took dose 2 around the same time on Sunday night (last night). By 9pm I felt a bad headache and felt extremely tired. I fell asleep around 11pm and woke again at about 3am, feeling totally spaced out. My thoughts were racing and I was finding it hard to control what I was thinking. I also had a headache during this ordeal, and my mouth was bone-dry. I brought myself down with deep breathing but the experience was quite scary.
I woke up, this morning, and I couldn't bring myself to go to work. I was dry-heaving as soon as I woke up, and I felt a tiredness so strong that I felt I was pass out if I kept up and active.
I am aware these side-effects should pass gradually but I wasn't expecting them to strike with such force. I feel weird today, like I'm not "all there". I will continue the medication but It's a bit upsetting to me that after only 2 days I've been feeling worse than ever. I'll need to go back to work tomorrow and it fills me with such dread and despair.
With this in mind, I am going to continue with Citalopram. I don't want to be stuck in this anxiety forever. I might take some Diazepam later to see if it helps after taking the anti-deppresant but my fear there is being "zombified" and, in the back of my mind, I also have the fear of valium addiction. My doctor said I'm on such a low dose of Diazepam that I shouldn't worry, and my body will be thankfull for the break. However, as we all know, the internet says differently. I do believe I have spent too much time researching and reading stuff online though that only makes things worse.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I'll update this thread as time goes on to share with others how I get on. Maybe I'll end the thread with "It's worth it guys, do it"... but at the moment it's been a rough ride.
I thought I would post here to share my experience so far on Citalopram, both for myself and others. It's early days but things haven't been great.
A little background: I suffered from Anxiety pretty badly around 4 years ago after job redundancy and staying at home too often. This led to bad migraines also. I went to my doctor who prescribed beta-blockers which didn't agree with my system at all. I didn't take the beta-blockers afer trying for a few days. I eventually got a new job, and while it was hell to begin with, the anxiety seemed to disappear on it's own.
Not to say I have been fully cured in this timeframe. Things would still make me edgy and uncomfortable, such as trains and queues. Every now and then, when out for a walk for example, I could feel the onsets of panic attacks but I was able to keep things under control.
Fast forward to a month ago and the anxiety has returned, intensified and crippling. This was a gradual build up as I noticed I couldn't sit at public places too long without feeling uncomfortable. There were 3 main low points that made me see my doctor again:
1. I couldn't enjoy my daughter's school play because all I thought about was my health and how I wanted to run out of the school to get fresh air
2. During a family dinner, I had a panic attack which led me to the resteraunt's toilets in a state of total doom for 15 minutes
3. The following day at work, I left after sitting down for 15 minutes as the panic onset returned.
I contribute this to so much going on in the previous year of my life.. I got married, bought a home, was promoted in work, and finished a long court ordeal to get my kids at weekends. Some of these things, you would think, should make a guy happy. I just worried the whole time... and I think it's the main contributor to my anxiety. This, along with health worries. I over-analyze my body way to much when something isn't right.
So, I went back to my doctor, who again prescribed me beta-blockers. I tried again for a few days, and it didn't help again. These always made me feel awful in afternoons. After the trial, my doctor wasn't in the clinic and instead I visited another doctor, who put me on slow release beta-blockers.
I was a little hesitant at first to try these but I went ahead. Again, same result. Felt awful by afternoon and I had to stop taking them.
One Saturday night, I felt completely overwhelmed and sick with the anxiety. I couldn't enjoy time I had with my son and thought I was going out of my mind. A phone call to a very sarcastic out-of-hours doctor later, and I'm prescribed 7x 2mg Diazepam tablets. I'd never taken Valium before, and was apprehensive. My wife picked up the prescription and I took 1 2mg tablet that night. The relief I got felt like a small miracle.
Not wanting to abuse these tablets, as I've heard of the addiction horror stories, I called my own doctor again a few days later, wanting to tell him I was prescribed Diazepam and what he thought I should do. He said my body needed the rest, and he was happy to hear they helped. He presicribed 28 more tablets, up to 3 times a day for Anxiety.
The problem being, I'm pretty sure by this point its generalized anxiety. I was (and still am) waking up every morning feeling anxious, I wasn't taking breaks in work with friends and not walking far from work. One particular episode occured when I went to 2 shops during my lunch break and had to run out while standing in the queue, placing the items back on my way out the door. I was gripped bad by anxiety and embarressed about running out, looking like a fool.
This is maybe my downfall; I am still apprehensive about taking Diazepam. While in work, when I feel the Anxiety reach a point where I can't cope, I'll break a tablet in half and take it. I fear I'll develop addiction. Half a tablet doesn't do much now and just last week I took 1 and a half (3mg) diazepam and felt awful about myself afterwards. Work colleagues, I fear, can also tell when im on valium, as my eyes glaze over and I don't really communicate.
With all this becoming too much, I called my doctor again, who advised I should go on an antidepressant. I was prescribed 10mg Citalopram. This is where my experience diary starts.
My doctor was forthcoming regarding side effects, but only listed 2... headaches and feeling "sick". He said this will pass after 2 weeks.. and wanted me to make an appointment for 2 weeks time to see him after I'd taken my daily doses. Problem was, I called back to make the appointment and turns out he is on annual leave in 2 weeks, so I'll be seeing him 1 week after the initial doses.
I took dose 1 on Saturday night around 7pm. I had no side effects except feeling a little hot / sweaty and also a mild headache. I woke up on Sunday morning feeling extra tired but nothing I couldn't deal with.
On Sunday I had family lunch (in the same resteraunt where I had a panic attack) and my anxiety was pretty bad. I had difficulty speaking correctly and remained silent for much of the conversation / dinner. My hands also couldn't stay still.. like I always needed to be touching something on the table.. or my face. It was a bad experience, but I made it through.
I took dose 2 around the same time on Sunday night (last night). By 9pm I felt a bad headache and felt extremely tired. I fell asleep around 11pm and woke again at about 3am, feeling totally spaced out. My thoughts were racing and I was finding it hard to control what I was thinking. I also had a headache during this ordeal, and my mouth was bone-dry. I brought myself down with deep breathing but the experience was quite scary.
I woke up, this morning, and I couldn't bring myself to go to work. I was dry-heaving as soon as I woke up, and I felt a tiredness so strong that I felt I was pass out if I kept up and active.
I am aware these side-effects should pass gradually but I wasn't expecting them to strike with such force. I feel weird today, like I'm not "all there". I will continue the medication but It's a bit upsetting to me that after only 2 days I've been feeling worse than ever. I'll need to go back to work tomorrow and it fills me with such dread and despair.
With this in mind, I am going to continue with Citalopram. I don't want to be stuck in this anxiety forever. I might take some Diazepam later to see if it helps after taking the anti-deppresant but my fear there is being "zombified" and, in the back of my mind, I also have the fear of valium addiction. My doctor said I'm on such a low dose of Diazepam that I shouldn't worry, and my body will be thankfull for the break. However, as we all know, the internet says differently. I do believe I have spent too much time researching and reading stuff online though that only makes things worse.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I'll update this thread as time goes on to share with others how I get on. Maybe I'll end the thread with "It's worth it guys, do it"... but at the moment it's been a rough ride.