Anxiety Re Depression

[OncewasSupergirl]

Ok so I'm having a bit of a blip in regards to my anxiety...due to various stressors. I have a better handle on my anxiety thanks to my trusted Claire Weekes book. However I ruminate a lot on developing depression due to my anxiety. Obviously feeling anxious for nearly two months I don't feel really happy plus the added stressors which I do feel I'm coping with better or have dealt with now have contributed to my anxiety. Is it possible to feel happy when anxious? I know my biggest fear is becoming depressed again which is fuelling the fear and dread. Does anyone else have this fear? I seek reassurance from friends who know me well and who have seen me at my lowest, and they all say I seem fine and am coping really well. But because I don't feel totally happy I'm worried I'm depressed! I'm eating well, sleeping well, going to work, socialising and doing activities I enjoy but this anxiety about being depressed is driving me crazy?!

[Holds1325]

The fear of depression in anxiety is very common. Infact thats one of the major reasons I had panic episodes during my anxiety period was because I was scared of being depressed.

Its okay though and it'll be fine, even if you got depressed its all temporary and you will get through this. I began to think that and guess what? I never got depressed really and the fear of depression began to fade.

It is possible to be happy even though you are anxious. Anxiety is a horrible thing to suffer with but can be overcome.

Have you had any good days so far?

[OncewasSupergirl]

Hey thanks for the reply! Yes I've had positive days, and sometimes I completely forget my fear of depression, then it re asserts itself. I've had anxiety for about 15 years but the last couple have been very anxiety free and the re emergence of symptoms has been a bit of a shock. I take fluoxetine which seems to help. I had been under a lot of stress but have worked through most of it. I guess I'm going to have to work through this fear again!
I feel a bit silly but it can be so all consuming can't it?

[Holds1325]

It can indeed be consuming but can be overcome. If you have overcome it before then you can again. Think about this, since it IS temporary it wont last long? Keep thinking upon that and I will make a bet that you get over it much faster this time.

Keep posting as frequently as you can about your thoughts, there is alot of help here. Take it easy on yourself and TRY to remember to put up those mental stop signs to all the fearful thoughts, don't think upon them, eventually they fade through time. It takes practice but if the thought of "I'm going to be depressed" shows up, STOP it there and do something else, it may try to emerge several several times after that but it gets easier trust me.

The good days become much more frequent, this is another thing to tell yourself, you WILL have good days and they WILL happen more often.

You'll get through this! :)

[OncewasSupergirl]

Hey Holds,
I did really well with saying STOP yesterday, am struggling this morning though. Got up early to get to training at work (I'm on holiday) and no one is here! Obviously being on leave I've missed an email or something.
I have what I call the "fear" this morning. It's made of what ifs, what if I get worse, what if I can't cope. It's accompanied by a sinking feeling. Classic anxiety.
I used to be so good at accepting my anxiety, and distracting myself but I seem to have lost the skill somewhat, I've had quite a few good years and it seems memory just wants to bring back the horrible symptoms but not my confidence in coping with them!
Thank you for your replies it's so good to hear from someone who understands it x

[NoPoet]

Yeah this happens to me ALL THE TIME. Apparently people suffering anxiety about becoming depressed is really common. I'm still working through it myself so cannot offer definitive answers but you might want to bear in mind that it's kind of like a phobia: you keep thinking about it and looking for it because you're so afraid of it. When you see it, you might be misinterpreting it. It's natural to feel sad, frustrated, angry etc and it's also easy to write these off with labels such as depression when it's actively unhelpful to do so (because you then believe you have a problem which doesn't really exist and this distracts you from the real issues).

[OncewasSupergirl]

NoPoet,
You are totally right it does become a phobia/obsession. Your description has really helped me understand and rationalise it. I've had something to feel quite upset about recently plus the stress that's caused the re emergence of my anxious symptoms. So it makes sense I'd be feeling sad etc but my anxiety is making me interpret it in a negative way ie I must be developing depression.
It's so good to hear from people with the same fear, makes me feel less crazy!!

[OncewasSupergirl]

Hi guys,

Well after a few more positive days I've just had a more anxious day. Worrying about being depressed again, worried about seeing the GP tomorrow and her telling me I'm depressed!
I probably should mention I have a balance disorder called Ménière's disease and some of the symptoms are very similar to anxiety, sweating, palpitations, fuzzy head etc and my symptoms have flared up recently. So sometimes it's hard to distinguish what's the disease and what's anxiety?! I guess I'm hoping to see my GP and her be able to reassure me or offer a solution but I don't think that's going to happen. I have an awful feeling she is going to say...this is your life now you need to learn to live with it!
Any words of wisdom? Xx