First night of Mirtazapine - I survived

[Mermaid16]

After feeling off the wall panic about taking my meds, I finally took the jump last night. It wasn't easy. I was scared of serotonin syndrome (because I'm taking 100mgs of Sertraline, plus adding the 7.5mgs Mirt. But in the end thought f$:k it, I can't keep going the way I am. Took the 2mg of Valium (have been taking 5mg at night for sleep for the last week, so think psych didn't want to stop cold turkey) and the Mirt and off I went to sleep. Probably drifted off about 10. Was up at 6 to go to work. I work with my husband in my parents family business. I was soooo tired when I woke, slept in the car on the way and had to lay down when I got to work in the sick bay. Slept till about 10. Got up and was fine. Continued to work for the rest of the day. Have felt almost back to normal today. Really don't want to get my hopes up though cause tomorrow could be crap. Will try and update every day so it my help other people. Just like other people's stories on here helped me. I also won a radio competition today to see Jimmy Barnes in concert and a meet and greet with him on his Brisbane concert on 21st of August plus his latest cd. That made me feel better. To remember life is not all crappy, but there are good things that happen to. X

[Mark13]

Glad to hear the first day went well for you. I've been on 15mg for many years, and I remember how sluggish and drowsy I was for the first few days.

Good luck.

[Shazamataz]

Yay, you did it! :)

[Mermaid16]

Thanks Shaz and Mark. I even made it to day two :blush:. I woke at 6.00am to come to work. I will have my kids tomorrow morning, so wanted to make sure I would be able to keep my eyes open and get them ready for school. Have stayed awake since I got to work...no naps today. Haven't felt too bad. I bit yawny, but still productive and working. I have started taking my sertraline earlier, at 8am instead of midday, because of taking the Mirt at night about 9.00ish. Mood has been okay today. Felt a little too wide awake after I first had the sertraline (the feeling was kind of like when you drink too much caffeine). That has passed now. Feel a tiny bit anxious, but not really (kind of a weird feeling), like I'm just tired and not really feeling much at all. Have psych appointment tomorrow. Hope that he doesn't change to much around, as I would like to stay as is for another week until everything settles a little. He did mention last time trying to reduce the amount of sertraline I'm on. I am also a little worried that I might have a few dramas with the diazepam in a few days. I have been taking 5mg at night for sleep for about a week and a half and then dropped it down to 2mg with the Mirt at night. I am hoping that because it was such a short amount of time and the dose wasn't that high that it won't cause too many problems, but have read that you should only drop down 1/2 mg a week. Don't know if this would be applicable. In any case, just keeping a bit of a diary so I can check back and see how I am going overall. How are you doing Shaz? x

[Shazamataz]

Heya, if you've only been on the diazepam for a couple of weeks you should be fine, you've already dropped down to 2, which is a small dose. I expect the doc will suggest you soon try just the mirt and stop the diazepam and just keep it for 'emergencies'.

I've been having a relatively good few days so feeling optimistic the venlafaxine is the right medication for me. Still worried in the back of my mind it will all come crashing down again as it has many times in the past months, but trying to remain optimistic. It's only been 5 weeks with the new med regimen, so doing it day by day.

[Mermaid16]

Hi Shaz! So glad that you have been feeling a bit better the last few days. I hope that it remains that way. We all have good and bad days, but life's a whole lot easier when the good outway the bad. Even though it sucks big time going through this, there is a certain amount of strength that comes from knowing you endure what life throws at you and keep cracking on regardless. I no longer sweat the little stuff. Hope you have a great day. What type of dogs do you have. I used to have a Rhodesian Ridgeback and a Pomeranian, but they live with my ex in Dubai now so I don't get to see them anymore. I miss them sometimes. They were great company, especially if I was home on my own. Plus it gave me an excuse to go for a walk. Oh well, now I'm just a crazy bird lady that feeds the butcher birds. Xx

[dale12345]

Glad you are coping with it.:D

[Mermaid16]

Thanks Dale. I had my psych appointment today. He decided not to change anything until I go back in two weeks. Mainly because I was such a chicken to start with and have only been taking the Mirt for three nights. I drove this morning, which was good. I sleep like a rock at night, but once I'm up, the sleepiness goes. He did say that I only need eight hours of sleep, so stick to this and don't oversleep. He also said to do deep breathing exercises for 15mins at least once a day. This is getting your body used to being in a relaxed state rather than an anxious one. I have been a bit slack with the breathing, but have been doing meditation with the kids at night before they go to bed. I googled kids meditation and there are a few by Jason Stephenson that the kids really like. I lay on the floor with pillows and listen to it. They are really quite good. The kids are asleep before it even finishes. He also told me that I need to start thinking about the here and now and not thinking about future things that can make me anxious. Which he called loop thinking. So I have to try and concentrate more on the task at hand eg work, crossword puzzle, music, etc and try not to let me mind wonder and get caught in the loop. Overall, today has been pretty good. I still get the morning panic, but it is different now. Like the edge has been taken off and it doesn't have the urgency that it had before. Anyhow, only day 3 so hope it keeps going in an upward direction. x

[Mermaid16]

Day 5. Still continuing with the Mirt. One of my children woke me at 2.00am so I got up with her. Had always been worried that I wouldn't wake up to her or be to out of it to help her, but I was fine. Tired, but not running into walls or anything. I have felt a bit flat today. Tired like I could hardly keep my eyes open and no motivation. Had a few brief moments of wondering if I was getting depressed, but I think I'm really going to have to push myself to not lay in bed all day. I work full time so I let myself have a lazy day today, but tomorrow I will force myself to go for a walk or something. Still managed to get a few things done, groceries and cleaned house, but still not very active. Plus the munchies started yesterday. I am trying to eat healthy but do feel hungry all the time. It is such a weird sensation to feel hungry and not really full. Oh well, because I am aware of it, I will keep an eye on it. X

[Shazamataz]

Sounds like you're doing ok with the Mirt. The munchies on it are really bad. I put on 7 kg but have lost a bit since the anxiety came back.

Just noticed your question. My dogs are a rescued border collie/american bulldog called Lola. She's nearly 5, completely bonkers with all sorts of behavioural issues after a rough start to life. Then I have Zico, a dashing Golden retriever who will be 2 in October. They are great company but need lots of exercise which I struggle with at the moment but I very rarely miss a day and usually we go for two outings a day to the beach or into the bush. I just wish they weren't so expensive as I've been off work and money is very tight.

Winter seems to have finished here, we really only had a week of it.

It's ok to have lazy days. The Mirt can make you really tired to start with so be kind to yourself.

[Mermaid16]

Day 6. Well yesterday I must have just needed a catch up lazy day. I have had much more energy today. Did 4km on the treadmill and not feeling sleepy. Sometimes feel like a bit of a zombie, like I'm not in my body, but I'm definately more like I used to be. I still think the same, it is such a strange experience. I am functional on the Mirt, whereas without it I wasn't doing so good. I will keep going. It is only early days. Shaz your dogs sound beautiful. It's good they keep you on your toes and get you out of the house. The fresh and the distraction will be good for you. Hope your anxiety is a little more manageable at the moment. How have you been feeling? Is that a pic of one of your doggies on your forums pic? Take care. X

[Mermaid16]

Day 7. Feeling okay today. Felt like it took a long time to fall asleep last night. I slept well though. Was up early for work at 5.45. Felt a bit like my thoughts were a bit obsessive. It is kind of weird, like when I have a lot of anxiety, I am very conscious of every thought I think. Like I focus on them and their not unconscious, but conscious thoughts. I was okay for the rest of the day. I'm tired though. I feel like my hands have been a bit shaky (kind of like tremors) but they are only the tiniest bit visible and not really there. I'm a little afraid that I will have some type of withdrawal because I went from 5mg straight down to 2mg. But the psych didn't think this would happen. Who knows. It may be from feeling a little anxious or because of the tablets I'm on. Anyhow, tomorrow is another day and we will see how we go then.

[Shazamataz]

Hey Mermaid, how long were you on 5mg diazepam? You may be having a bit of withdrawal but the doctor should know what they are doing. And if the Mirt helps you sleep then that's a good thing. Sounds like it's not giving you too much trouble? How's the appetite?

Yep, my dogs are beautiful. That's my girl Lola in the photo. Zico is a Golden retriever so you know what they look like. I have been told he is a particularly good-looking one, but I can't take any credit for that!

They get me out of the house every day, often twice so that's a good thing overall, though some days I don't much feel like walking them. I just grit my teeth and get on with it. We are lucky here as there are heaps of places nearby where they can have a good run/swim off lead. Plus I get some fresh air and exercise too.

I'm rough again today but I had the dentist this afternoon and I expect I was anxious about that and feeling a bit strange afterwards with the injection and all that. This evening things hurt a bit but I expect that will settle soon. Best to save my teeth while I still have some!

[Mermaid16]

Hi Shaz. I have been on for about a month now but only here and there. When I first presented to the hospital on the 12th of July with bad panic attacks, they thought I was experiencing alcohol withdrawal. My ex husband had an affair about 10 years ago when my kids where quite small. I started having one or two drinks a night after they went to bed to try and relax and fall to sleep. This continued for the next 10 years, it slowly increased to 4 or 5 a night. I decided that I had, had enough this year and wanted to try and lose some weight and stop drinking, so I cut down over a few weeks. Anyhow, I ended up doing a five day valium taper, it started at 5mg three times a day, down to nothing on the 5th day. That all went fine, then about a week later (not taking any valium since the 5th day), massive panic attack and anxiety through the roof). So made an appointment to see the psych (during the waiting period between this there was no valium (probably for about 5 days). Then he started me on 5mg of valium for one week, then this dropped down to 2mg since then (probably about a week) as well as adding in the Mirt. So as you can see it is a bit all over the shop. I did ask him when I was there last (which was two days after cutting from 5mg to 2mg) if he thought there would be any withdrawals from the valium, cutting down so quick. His response was 'if you don't have any now, you won't have them'. I know that valium has a really long half life though and can take 200 hours or something to clear your system. Anyhow, last night I felt my heart kind of like miss a beat and then had a brain zap. This happened three times in about 10mins and then one this morning. Both times I was inbetween the wake/sleep zone, not really fully in either. So this has scared me a little, even though I know they are harmless. I have a feeling it is related to the valium, I have also had an increase in anxiety yesterday and today. Not through the roof, but noticeable. Lola is soooo beautiful. She looks so alert in your pic. I love golden retrievers also, they are so placid (usually). How did you go last night after the dentist. Did things settle in a little? I don't really like dentists, but as you say, we need to look after our teeth while we still have them. Talk soon. Tracy x

[Mermaid16]

Day 10. Had a really crappy day yesterday. Had to drive somewhere for work by myself and panicked on way there, then when I got there. I went and sat on the toilet for a few minutes and did some deep breathing and calm down. Which I did. Was fine on the way home because I knew I was on my way back to work (which is a safe place and with safe people) for me. Felt anxious all day and was in tears a few times. Kind of felt just over it by the time I got home. Kind of like being depressed, but I don't think I was, I was just frustrated, angry and tired. Just when it seems to get better, it turns to shit again. It took me ages to fall asleep (about two hours) after taking the Mirt, usually I'm out within half an hour. I think because I had the brain zaps the night before I was petrified it would happen again. Anyhow, there were no brain zaps last night. But I woke up at 1.30am (the first time I have woken during the night) and felt like I didn't go back to sleep until I got up for work at 5.30am. Although I think I probably did, can't imagine just laying there for 4hours awake and not getting up. Anyhow needless to say, I am tired and still anxious. I don't have another psych appointment for another week and don't know if I should go and see him about the broken sleep or just give it another week. I have only been taking it for a week. I will see how the rest of the day goes and then make an appointment if it is still bad anxiety during the day. I have valium but really don't want to take them.