Mikechamberlain
10-08-16, 00:02
Hey everyone,
I think I can impart some knowledge which will really help people so I'm going to rush through my story, if you think you'd be interested in my help just drop me a PM! Sorry for the bad grammar etc. I am short on time right now but really wanted to connect with you guys.
----------------------------------
I suffered for many years with anxiety, it started in my early twenties while working in a call centre, I started feeling very strange and had no idea what was wrong with me. This began a spiral into health anxiety which of course only fuelled the symptoms and made me feel truly broken. I believed that I could simply ride out the symptoms like any other illness by staying at home, "relaxing" in bed, eating right and taking vitamins etc. None of this worked. I started feeling more and more disconnected from the world until my vision began to actually go blurry and lights seemed incredibly bright. Going outdoors became a huge ordeal. I went to the doctors and was told that I was depressed and prescribed Fluoxetine anti-depressants. By this time even visiting the doctors surgery was utterly terrifying, I felt disconnected, not part of the world. Every morning I would wake up and 'check-in' to see if I still felt the same way, my vision was still screwed up - YUP, I'M STILL ILL.
I prayed to feel normal again, I thought my life was over, I genuinely would rather have been dead than lived another day like this but I couldn't end my life - I was trapped in a meaningless, empty existence.
I found information online that started pointing me in the direction of an anxiety diagnosis. I found a forum just like this one and typed a post that begged for someones help, in my post I had mentioned that I had used the drug Ecstasy in the past (I was worried that this has contributed to my illness somehow), what I got in return was a couple of replies from people blaming my symptoms on my "drug abuse". One person even told me that my brain was likely permanently damaged and would never recover. I was horrified. I didn't think it was possible to feel anymore alone, broken or upset but the thought of never recovering from this terrible condition simply ruined me.
I spent approximately 2 years off work, sitting upstairs in my bedroom, waiting for a miracle or death. My family and friends would visit me and do their best to cheer me up, they mourned the person they used to know, and so did I. Sometimes I would go 'for a drive' with my friends, I'd sit in the back of their cars, panicking about how far we were from home and feeling like an alien because everything was so unreal and strange. I fake laughed a lot and pretended everything was ok but on the inside I was empty.
My medication made my DP/DR worse so I stopped taking it. The next year consisted of me visiting countless therapists - psychologists, hypnotherapists, cognitive behavioural therapists. I would come home from a session and my dad (who was paying for these sessions) would ask "So, how was it?" expecting me to one day say "I feel great!, It worked!". Of course, this never happened, I knew deep down that there was so magic pill that would fix me. I felt broken to my core and my loving dad's constant checking in only made me feel more alone and more broken.
One day my dad came into my bedroom for a chat. He had seemingly had enough of watching me deteriorate and was a lot harsher in his tone than usual. He used the phrase "I think it's time you grabbed this bull by the horns, don't you? You don't want to live like this for the rest of your life do you?". For some reason his words had a strong effect on me that day - I felt like I had nothing to lose, I already felt as bad as anyone could feel, why not go and be this weird version of myself outdoors in public? '**** it' I thought. I began exercising at home and also found an anxiety self help guide called The Lindon Method - long story short, this guide really helped me in the short term, it had a heavy focus on distraction as a form of coping with anxiety which was useful in making me feel like I had SOME control over my anxiety, it did not "fix" me.
I used the distraction method for approximately 3 years after this, I jumped above my anxiety when I felt an attack coming on and treaded water until it passed. This coping strategy even allowed me to get a few part time jobs and finally a full time job in an office! And a girlfriend!
I was proud of myself but I was still living in a world that I did not recognise or feel part of, I felt happy sometimes when I was distracted from my symptoms. The whole time I was still suffering with the feelings of derealisation - blurred glassy vision, disconnected from reality, feeling like a shadow of my former self. The was me now and I had to accept it.
(I'm going to rush through this bit because I'm worried that it'll sound braggy. My aim is to inspire and reassure people who think their life can't change...)
For almost 5 years after this point I gradually progressed career-wise and became more at ease with my anxiety, maybe my DP/DR was improving? Hmm, or maybe not?
I changed jobs and decided I wanted to work for a small finance company which gave me a lot of confidence. I was earning good money and I really enjoyed my job. My anxiety was still there like a dark figure swimming under the surface but I learned to keep it at bay.
I decided to leave the small company I worked for and try working for myself in the same field. I setup a small business, very small in fact, just me in an office.
The financial collapse of 2008 hit immediately after which almost destroyed my business right as it got off the starting blocks. I took on a business partner who I used to work with, he was a friend, I gave him half of my tiny business.
We became very ambitious about where we could take our small business. We raised money against our parents houses and hired our first member of staff.
I'll cut a very long story very short - we worked our asses off for 6 years until our company employed 80 staff. We travelled to Monaco and pitched to investors who bought 70% of our business. I was now a very wealthy man, running a very successful business. I was traveling around europe by plane, public speaking and facing every fear I thought I had. I was a home owner. I had a beautiful girlfriend who I would later be engaged to.
I sold the rest of my shares in the business 3 years ago to begin a new challenge. I started a new company with my fiancé, we are a personalised gift business that currently employs 6 staff and is growing incredibly quickly. I love my life. Anxiety, Depersonalisation & Derealisation are a distant memory to me now and I can tell you exactly how I did it! (Jeez, this sounds like a sales pitch right? It isn't! I'm just incredibly passionate about helping people who feel as bad as I did)
I should mention that anxiety or DP/DR does not have to take years to get over, it simply took me years to gain the right perspective, tools and advice to get past it.
It is so tempting to write a bullet-pointed list of "What I Did To Cure My Anxiety DP/DR etc.." but I'm not going to do it because I actually think it's counter-productive. I think my advice would be best understood and digested one-to-one. If you want to have a chat with me I would love to help, just drop me a private message on here or on Skype: mikechamberlain1. I'm not offering any kind of paid service or anything here, I genuinely just want to help people in need and I KNOW I can help, I'm living proof that what I have done works.
Love to you all - you are all going to be just fine, I promise.
X
---------- Post added 10-08-16 at 00:02 ---------- Previous post was 09-08-16 at 23:59 ----------
Ok, I actually ended up writing some advice which I hope people will benefit from!
The best piece of advice I can give to someone who is suffering with anxiety is to start the process of detaching from your thoughts - this sounds like a worrying idea to most people however most people do not realise that we are much more than our thoughts, the idea of our 'self' is usually attached to the voice we hear and the images and scenes we see in our mind but this is a delusion.
The intellect tells us to worry, it exaggerates things, it tells us we aren't good enough or attractive enough or smart enough. The reminders can be very repetitive and are to most people very believable, especially when "anxiety" can be used as evidence of your incapability to function as you might want (it's a viscous cycle). The majority of imagery and scenes we observe in our minds are shown to us automatically, triggered by events, people, words.
Know that these autonomous negative thoughts are nothing more than the minds attempt to protect us. They are absolutely nothing to worry about. Everyone has them, in my experience the people who mostly decide they are a problem are people who have very high standards for themselves/hypochondria/health anxieties/perfectionism/tendency to worry - these are usually learned behaviours from the sufferer's parent(s) or guardian(s). Sometimes these learned behaviours are so deeply part of our 'self' that we don't see them as destructive patterns and just as "me".
I would encourage anyone who suffers with anxiety to:
a) Have a good think about your parent/guardian's personality traits - When you were growing up were either of them worriers, anxious, overly health conscious, perfectionistic, highly strung, obsessive? Your anxiety could be fed by thought patterns which were learned from your parents/guardians. Awareness of your learned patterns will be a fast track to you separating yourself from them and getting to know your true self underneath the thoughts.
b) Meditate - sitting every day for as little as ten minutes and focussing on your breath will bring you into the present moment, quieten your mind and create space between you and your thoughts. The practice of watching your thoughts as often as possible during your day will be the foundation of learning the true nature of your thoughts, their origin and their purpose. Watching & listening to the thoughts without any judgment or interruption will be best gift you could give to your intellect. Let it run wild, appreciate it for its concern for your best interests, but do not believe what it says without hard evidence that it is telling the truth. Remember: it is trying to keep you safe by showing you worst case scenarios. I treat my intellect like a high maintenance friend that needs to vent it's frustrations from time to time. Give it space and find time to appreciate it for all the positive things it does for you (Yes! There are positive things, look for them!).
c) Let go - this is easier said than done. Surrendering to the thoughts and feelings that you perceive to be fearful is always going to be a challenge. I listened to relaxation CDs for years when I was at my most anxious and I truly thought I was letting go and relaxing but I really wasn't. I was still in my head and TRYING to relax, TRYING to fix myself. Maybe it will help you to let go if I point you in the right direction - I try to give up all resistance to thoughts and feelings at least once a day, here's how I do it...
I become aware of my bodily sensations and the present moment, I create a sinking feeling in my body as it relaxes, if you're doing this right you might find that you start to yawn and/or cry a little, I also get some muscle twitches. I may only sit with this for seconds or minutes but there is a definate feeling of release. Your rate of breathing my speed up, you might sweat or blink a lot, maybe you'll feel tingles in your body. This is how I know that I have temporarily broken the mind and body's conditioned tendency to resist negative thoughts and feelings. Whatever feelings arise, sit with them, they will soon pass.
Getting yourself into this low-resistance state and watching your thoughts may eventually become a very pleasurable experience, even if the emotions are painful (sounds strange right?). You'll learn how quickly that thoughts can leave the mind and feelings can leave the body when we do not resist them. You'll learn that thoughts and feelings are nothing to be concerned about. Giving the mind space and the body freedom feels like taking the lid of a bottle of coke, releasing the pressure and letting it settle.
I see this advice as much more than "beating anxiety", this is about being your true self and finding a place of ease and calm that is inside all of us. Rest assured that you are not "broken" or "Ill" or "damaged", gain a little perspective with these techniques and your life will change forever. I am glad that I suffered with anxiety because it made me find my true self.
For more information and guidance check out a meditation app called 'Headspace' and a book called 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. For the people who can afford £3,000 - accelerate your "recovery" with a week away at The Hoffman Process (you'll leave feeling like you've been reborn).
Huge love to you all!
Mike
I think I can impart some knowledge which will really help people so I'm going to rush through my story, if you think you'd be interested in my help just drop me a PM! Sorry for the bad grammar etc. I am short on time right now but really wanted to connect with you guys.
----------------------------------
I suffered for many years with anxiety, it started in my early twenties while working in a call centre, I started feeling very strange and had no idea what was wrong with me. This began a spiral into health anxiety which of course only fuelled the symptoms and made me feel truly broken. I believed that I could simply ride out the symptoms like any other illness by staying at home, "relaxing" in bed, eating right and taking vitamins etc. None of this worked. I started feeling more and more disconnected from the world until my vision began to actually go blurry and lights seemed incredibly bright. Going outdoors became a huge ordeal. I went to the doctors and was told that I was depressed and prescribed Fluoxetine anti-depressants. By this time even visiting the doctors surgery was utterly terrifying, I felt disconnected, not part of the world. Every morning I would wake up and 'check-in' to see if I still felt the same way, my vision was still screwed up - YUP, I'M STILL ILL.
I prayed to feel normal again, I thought my life was over, I genuinely would rather have been dead than lived another day like this but I couldn't end my life - I was trapped in a meaningless, empty existence.
I found information online that started pointing me in the direction of an anxiety diagnosis. I found a forum just like this one and typed a post that begged for someones help, in my post I had mentioned that I had used the drug Ecstasy in the past (I was worried that this has contributed to my illness somehow), what I got in return was a couple of replies from people blaming my symptoms on my "drug abuse". One person even told me that my brain was likely permanently damaged and would never recover. I was horrified. I didn't think it was possible to feel anymore alone, broken or upset but the thought of never recovering from this terrible condition simply ruined me.
I spent approximately 2 years off work, sitting upstairs in my bedroom, waiting for a miracle or death. My family and friends would visit me and do their best to cheer me up, they mourned the person they used to know, and so did I. Sometimes I would go 'for a drive' with my friends, I'd sit in the back of their cars, panicking about how far we were from home and feeling like an alien because everything was so unreal and strange. I fake laughed a lot and pretended everything was ok but on the inside I was empty.
My medication made my DP/DR worse so I stopped taking it. The next year consisted of me visiting countless therapists - psychologists, hypnotherapists, cognitive behavioural therapists. I would come home from a session and my dad (who was paying for these sessions) would ask "So, how was it?" expecting me to one day say "I feel great!, It worked!". Of course, this never happened, I knew deep down that there was so magic pill that would fix me. I felt broken to my core and my loving dad's constant checking in only made me feel more alone and more broken.
One day my dad came into my bedroom for a chat. He had seemingly had enough of watching me deteriorate and was a lot harsher in his tone than usual. He used the phrase "I think it's time you grabbed this bull by the horns, don't you? You don't want to live like this for the rest of your life do you?". For some reason his words had a strong effect on me that day - I felt like I had nothing to lose, I already felt as bad as anyone could feel, why not go and be this weird version of myself outdoors in public? '**** it' I thought. I began exercising at home and also found an anxiety self help guide called The Lindon Method - long story short, this guide really helped me in the short term, it had a heavy focus on distraction as a form of coping with anxiety which was useful in making me feel like I had SOME control over my anxiety, it did not "fix" me.
I used the distraction method for approximately 3 years after this, I jumped above my anxiety when I felt an attack coming on and treaded water until it passed. This coping strategy even allowed me to get a few part time jobs and finally a full time job in an office! And a girlfriend!
I was proud of myself but I was still living in a world that I did not recognise or feel part of, I felt happy sometimes when I was distracted from my symptoms. The whole time I was still suffering with the feelings of derealisation - blurred glassy vision, disconnected from reality, feeling like a shadow of my former self. The was me now and I had to accept it.
(I'm going to rush through this bit because I'm worried that it'll sound braggy. My aim is to inspire and reassure people who think their life can't change...)
For almost 5 years after this point I gradually progressed career-wise and became more at ease with my anxiety, maybe my DP/DR was improving? Hmm, or maybe not?
I changed jobs and decided I wanted to work for a small finance company which gave me a lot of confidence. I was earning good money and I really enjoyed my job. My anxiety was still there like a dark figure swimming under the surface but I learned to keep it at bay.
I decided to leave the small company I worked for and try working for myself in the same field. I setup a small business, very small in fact, just me in an office.
The financial collapse of 2008 hit immediately after which almost destroyed my business right as it got off the starting blocks. I took on a business partner who I used to work with, he was a friend, I gave him half of my tiny business.
We became very ambitious about where we could take our small business. We raised money against our parents houses and hired our first member of staff.
I'll cut a very long story very short - we worked our asses off for 6 years until our company employed 80 staff. We travelled to Monaco and pitched to investors who bought 70% of our business. I was now a very wealthy man, running a very successful business. I was traveling around europe by plane, public speaking and facing every fear I thought I had. I was a home owner. I had a beautiful girlfriend who I would later be engaged to.
I sold the rest of my shares in the business 3 years ago to begin a new challenge. I started a new company with my fiancé, we are a personalised gift business that currently employs 6 staff and is growing incredibly quickly. I love my life. Anxiety, Depersonalisation & Derealisation are a distant memory to me now and I can tell you exactly how I did it! (Jeez, this sounds like a sales pitch right? It isn't! I'm just incredibly passionate about helping people who feel as bad as I did)
I should mention that anxiety or DP/DR does not have to take years to get over, it simply took me years to gain the right perspective, tools and advice to get past it.
It is so tempting to write a bullet-pointed list of "What I Did To Cure My Anxiety DP/DR etc.." but I'm not going to do it because I actually think it's counter-productive. I think my advice would be best understood and digested one-to-one. If you want to have a chat with me I would love to help, just drop me a private message on here or on Skype: mikechamberlain1. I'm not offering any kind of paid service or anything here, I genuinely just want to help people in need and I KNOW I can help, I'm living proof that what I have done works.
Love to you all - you are all going to be just fine, I promise.
X
---------- Post added 10-08-16 at 00:02 ---------- Previous post was 09-08-16 at 23:59 ----------
Ok, I actually ended up writing some advice which I hope people will benefit from!
The best piece of advice I can give to someone who is suffering with anxiety is to start the process of detaching from your thoughts - this sounds like a worrying idea to most people however most people do not realise that we are much more than our thoughts, the idea of our 'self' is usually attached to the voice we hear and the images and scenes we see in our mind but this is a delusion.
The intellect tells us to worry, it exaggerates things, it tells us we aren't good enough or attractive enough or smart enough. The reminders can be very repetitive and are to most people very believable, especially when "anxiety" can be used as evidence of your incapability to function as you might want (it's a viscous cycle). The majority of imagery and scenes we observe in our minds are shown to us automatically, triggered by events, people, words.
Know that these autonomous negative thoughts are nothing more than the minds attempt to protect us. They are absolutely nothing to worry about. Everyone has them, in my experience the people who mostly decide they are a problem are people who have very high standards for themselves/hypochondria/health anxieties/perfectionism/tendency to worry - these are usually learned behaviours from the sufferer's parent(s) or guardian(s). Sometimes these learned behaviours are so deeply part of our 'self' that we don't see them as destructive patterns and just as "me".
I would encourage anyone who suffers with anxiety to:
a) Have a good think about your parent/guardian's personality traits - When you were growing up were either of them worriers, anxious, overly health conscious, perfectionistic, highly strung, obsessive? Your anxiety could be fed by thought patterns which were learned from your parents/guardians. Awareness of your learned patterns will be a fast track to you separating yourself from them and getting to know your true self underneath the thoughts.
b) Meditate - sitting every day for as little as ten minutes and focussing on your breath will bring you into the present moment, quieten your mind and create space between you and your thoughts. The practice of watching your thoughts as often as possible during your day will be the foundation of learning the true nature of your thoughts, their origin and their purpose. Watching & listening to the thoughts without any judgment or interruption will be best gift you could give to your intellect. Let it run wild, appreciate it for its concern for your best interests, but do not believe what it says without hard evidence that it is telling the truth. Remember: it is trying to keep you safe by showing you worst case scenarios. I treat my intellect like a high maintenance friend that needs to vent it's frustrations from time to time. Give it space and find time to appreciate it for all the positive things it does for you (Yes! There are positive things, look for them!).
c) Let go - this is easier said than done. Surrendering to the thoughts and feelings that you perceive to be fearful is always going to be a challenge. I listened to relaxation CDs for years when I was at my most anxious and I truly thought I was letting go and relaxing but I really wasn't. I was still in my head and TRYING to relax, TRYING to fix myself. Maybe it will help you to let go if I point you in the right direction - I try to give up all resistance to thoughts and feelings at least once a day, here's how I do it...
I become aware of my bodily sensations and the present moment, I create a sinking feeling in my body as it relaxes, if you're doing this right you might find that you start to yawn and/or cry a little, I also get some muscle twitches. I may only sit with this for seconds or minutes but there is a definate feeling of release. Your rate of breathing my speed up, you might sweat or blink a lot, maybe you'll feel tingles in your body. This is how I know that I have temporarily broken the mind and body's conditioned tendency to resist negative thoughts and feelings. Whatever feelings arise, sit with them, they will soon pass.
Getting yourself into this low-resistance state and watching your thoughts may eventually become a very pleasurable experience, even if the emotions are painful (sounds strange right?). You'll learn how quickly that thoughts can leave the mind and feelings can leave the body when we do not resist them. You'll learn that thoughts and feelings are nothing to be concerned about. Giving the mind space and the body freedom feels like taking the lid of a bottle of coke, releasing the pressure and letting it settle.
I see this advice as much more than "beating anxiety", this is about being your true self and finding a place of ease and calm that is inside all of us. Rest assured that you are not "broken" or "Ill" or "damaged", gain a little perspective with these techniques and your life will change forever. I am glad that I suffered with anxiety because it made me find my true self.
For more information and guidance check out a meditation app called 'Headspace' and a book called 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. For the people who can afford £3,000 - accelerate your "recovery" with a week away at The Hoffman Process (you'll leave feeling like you've been reborn).
Huge love to you all!
Mike