Red Spots on arms (HIV Anxiety)

[LobsterUP]

Hello everyone. I'm new here. My story has been one hell of a rollercoaster, but here goes.

When I was 22 I had unprotected you know what with a guy and a week later, found out he was HIV positive. I went through 3 months of tururous hell of waiting for my results and they came back Negative, so I swore to myself I'd never ever do anything like that again.

Almost 5 months ago, I got very drunk and engaged in a high risk behaviour with someone of unknown HIV status. I was so angry with myself the next day. I went and got PEP to prevent possible infection (as I didnt know if he had it or not). Took that for 28 days.

4 weeks after PEP (8 weeks after the incident), I tested negative which the nurse said is a 95% reliable result.

8 weeks after PEP (12 weeks after the incident), I tested negative again and was discharged from further testing.

I ordered a BioSure self HIV test kit 10 weeks after PEP (14 weeks after exposure) which was Negative.

I then went to two other clinics at 11 and 13 weeks after PEP (15 and 17 weeks after exposure) and tested Negative.

The reason I am anxious is because ever since a week after finishing PEP I felt this 5 second systemic rush which scared me in my body (like fuzzy water rushing up to my head and in my brain
Like waves and back down again). It happened in a flash and since, I keep getting rashes on my arms that come and go (usually in the morning but they ALWAYS fade in under 30 minutes).

Sometimes the cluster of red pinprick dots appear on the back of my hands and fade again after 30 mins but these come and go and have since i finished the PEP.

Bear in mind, PEP has unknown toxic effects which you are told when taking them.
I saw FOUR hiv specialists and all have told me HIV rash would come with fever and be widespread and last for about a week, not come and go and be localised to one area. I e-mailed a further three hiv specialists in different countries who all assured me my testing shows I am fine and they dont think rashes have anything to do with HiV at all.

I had two general bloods done and all my counts, bone profile etc was normal both times.

My GP said these rashes shouldnt worry me and thats its "coincidental" that these have happened after my recent dilemma.

Its like I refuse to believe my results because everytime I have a new rash on my arm (usually the left one), panic sets in and I start googling, or go to get tested or am on the phone to the GP surgery again. Also, the skin on my hands and arms are always very dry and never used to be.

I'm taking Kalms to try and keep me sane, Its difficult, I do think I need a counsellor, but if its not HiV and my GP isnt worried, has anyone else had this
Problem? I know PeP tablets penetrate tissue and into the bone marrow to stop infection (if it did occur and if he even had hiv), so not sure whether thats left a long term affect on me.

I know not everyone here are medically trained but advice and support would be great. I really wish I could believe my results and see the world in colour again.

[LobsterUP]

Ive attached an image of the rash I get. Heres another too.

[InfiniteJ]

Try to rest your mind; testing negative this far out means you don't have HIV, the rash could be from a million other harmless things...if it was from HIV it wouldn't go away so quickly, if at all.

[ServerError]

With that many negative test results, you really shouldn't give HIV another thought. You've had the all clear. There isn't anything further anyone can do to demonstrate you don't have it. But you don't.

I'm sure you know what to do to avoid this worry ever coming up again.

[LobsterUP]

Thanks.

I have a little lump under my jawbone on the right, and I am thinking "lymph node omg am converting", but have to tell myself its rare for someone to convert so late and tests have shown no indication all this time.

I have a telephone appt with doc on tues so I am going to ask if she will refer me to a dermatologist for reassurance / better look at my skin.

I was debating going clinic for another test today, I may have to for reassurance, wish I wasn't thinking like this but if it'll help me calm down.

[Fishmanpa]

I was debating going clinic for another test today, I may have to for reassurance, wish I wasn't thinking like this but if it'll help me calm down.

But when is enough going to be enough? How many more tests will you have to do to be convinced? What happens with the next health worry or when the calm wears off? As has been stated, that many tests can't be wrong. Perhaps addressing your anxiety and reassurance seeking behavior would be the solution.

Positive thoughts

[LobsterUP]

Thanks fish, I know I need help. I'll ask the doctor on Tues for a referral for a counsellor. Its because i've read posts where it can be up to six months but I also believe those are very outdated and with the older generation tests, but thats always niggling in my mind.

Thanks for the support. I am going to face this head on, have always been a bubbly happy person and haven't been myself for the last 5 months so I'm going to fight this anxiety to try and get back to myself again, I'm sure with time and counselling, I'll get there.

[LobsterUP]

I had had another test at 19 weeks post exposure (15 weeks after pep), and it was negative. I stopped having these rashes for a good 3 weeks now (since my last test). However, tonight, the attached image shows a rash that appeared again (doesnt itch or hurt). It disappeared after about an hour (after I put emollient on it). The last test I went for the nurse said hand on heart all these tests assure you don't have it. She said it would be a 0.00001% chance of changing after all this time. And of course it was negative. I just dont understand why I started getting these rashes occasionally only since the incident (well, a week after I finished the months medication). My GP referred me to a dermatologist 3 weeks ago and I am still waiting for a letter from them with an appointment. I'm going to have to ring the GP tomorrow and chase it up.

[LobsterUP]

Few blotches are now on my chest and belly area (which I was getting occasionally also and they will also fade pretty soon). My head is wrecked with all of this now, I really need answers. Picture attached.

[Hypo]

That is not an HIV rash.

Not even close :)

[LobsterUP]

I wonder what causes this and why it's only been happening since all this? I am going to phone my GP tomorrow and ask her if she can please chase this dermatology appt for me or at least let me know what's happening since it's been 3 weeks and no appointment letter through the door.

[LobsterUP]

I had this now that came on my hand an lasted about 30 mins and faded. This isn't normal. Had these problems since all this, went back to specialist a few days ago who said its not HIV and its stress rash, I dont believe him. Have had another test done at 23 weeks past exposure done last week and waiting for results and dermatology dept are finally sorting me an appt in next two weeks. Fed up of this all now.

[loverblesarah]

are you sure its not dermatitis ? i have this sort of rash come up on my hands with the sort of job i do (care assistant) cause i'm constantly washing my hands and using alcohol jels on them at work.

[LobsterUP]

Not sure Sarah, ive never had these problems before and they dont itch, they come then fade after like 30 mins and all this has happened since finishing the tablets. So cant help thinking its hiv. I hvent felt unwell, had sore throat, fever or flu and its been 24 weeks now, but had on and off red spots/blotches/rashes that come
And go since this. Maybe the tablets have caused some disturbance but not having answers and having to wait soooo long for even a referral or appt is just getting me down, its almost 6 months now. Surprised how strong I am being.