JosieLouise
12-08-16, 01:01
Anxiety has been in my life since I was 8 (I'm now 23). I've never been one for the full-scale panic attack - when I'm anxious my brain tends to shut down, I get very moody and I find it difficult to communicate. I very rarely have physical symptoms of anxiety.
A bit of background - I've just been put back on Citalopram after 3 months away, so of course I'm getting some side effects. Feeling dizzy, woozy, sick and generally weird. Obviously health anxiety is having trouble accepting this is the citalopram, but hey, I expected that.
Fast forward to this afternoon, at work. I started feeling a bit 'weird' again, like I have been, but I tried to relax because I knew it would pass. We were having a staff BBQ that night, and I really wanted to go.
Driving to my boss' house for the BBQ, I started feeling very ill. Nervous, naturally (I always get nervous before social events), but to the point where I thought I was going to be sick. I was literally about to dart out of the car and find the nearest hedgerow. But almost as quickly, it passed, and I felt alright again.
But this feeling kept coming and going in waves, starting out every 5 minutes or so until I felt like I was going collapse and/or vomit once every 30 seconds. The best way I can describe it is, the moment before you throw up (sorry for TMI). You know it's coming and you just want it to be over with, and your heart starts pounding because you know it's about to happen. I was experiencing that, all the time. My heart was racing, I kept getting flashes of heat, my limbs felt weak, I was shaking to the point I couldn't hold a glass of water. I felt anxious, yes, but more because I knew everyone else was watching.
Eventually I freaked out to the point where I had to be taken into another room. I felt like I was on the edge of losing complete control. I just sat on the sofa and shook for about half an hour until the intense sick/faint/anxious feeling subsided slightly. For the rest of the evening I couldn't eat, even though I felt hungry, everything I put near my mouth made me want to gag. I would go to the toilet and gag and gag, but again, never actually being sick. I didn't feel like I had the energy to talk to anyone and I sat in the corner in silence all evening.
Rationally, I'm thinking this might have been my first 'proper' panic attack. Irrationally, I'm going crazy with thoughts it was a sign of something else. Brain tumour, stomach cancer, heart problems, diabetes... anything you can think of.
Right now I'm at home and despite feeling a little nauseous, I feel so much better. So of course it was a panic attack. But my mind's not going to accept that... is it... ? :mad:
A bit of background - I've just been put back on Citalopram after 3 months away, so of course I'm getting some side effects. Feeling dizzy, woozy, sick and generally weird. Obviously health anxiety is having trouble accepting this is the citalopram, but hey, I expected that.
Fast forward to this afternoon, at work. I started feeling a bit 'weird' again, like I have been, but I tried to relax because I knew it would pass. We were having a staff BBQ that night, and I really wanted to go.
Driving to my boss' house for the BBQ, I started feeling very ill. Nervous, naturally (I always get nervous before social events), but to the point where I thought I was going to be sick. I was literally about to dart out of the car and find the nearest hedgerow. But almost as quickly, it passed, and I felt alright again.
But this feeling kept coming and going in waves, starting out every 5 minutes or so until I felt like I was going collapse and/or vomit once every 30 seconds. The best way I can describe it is, the moment before you throw up (sorry for TMI). You know it's coming and you just want it to be over with, and your heart starts pounding because you know it's about to happen. I was experiencing that, all the time. My heart was racing, I kept getting flashes of heat, my limbs felt weak, I was shaking to the point I couldn't hold a glass of water. I felt anxious, yes, but more because I knew everyone else was watching.
Eventually I freaked out to the point where I had to be taken into another room. I felt like I was on the edge of losing complete control. I just sat on the sofa and shook for about half an hour until the intense sick/faint/anxious feeling subsided slightly. For the rest of the evening I couldn't eat, even though I felt hungry, everything I put near my mouth made me want to gag. I would go to the toilet and gag and gag, but again, never actually being sick. I didn't feel like I had the energy to talk to anyone and I sat in the corner in silence all evening.
Rationally, I'm thinking this might have been my first 'proper' panic attack. Irrationally, I'm going crazy with thoughts it was a sign of something else. Brain tumour, stomach cancer, heart problems, diabetes... anything you can think of.
Right now I'm at home and despite feeling a little nauseous, I feel so much better. So of course it was a panic attack. But my mind's not going to accept that... is it... ? :mad: