Monophobia and me

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya All…

When I am having an anxiety blip one of my BIG things is monophobia, the fear of being alone…. To be honest I am not sure why, maybe it is because I was alone when one of the most traumatic things happened to me, or maybe I just have to be with my safe person… who knows

Sometimes I used to do anything not to be alone and have always said that I could never live alone because of it.

A few months ago I was asked by 2 separate families if I could house/cat/kitten/dog sit for a week while they were on holiday…. With a bit of trepidation I agreed….. Two different weeks in the summer holidays living in a different house and also alone….. I could do that, I could go home in between to charge my batteries and resolve any of the anxiety from being alone…….. Unless the 2 weeks were 2 weeks following each other……. Oops!!

I left home on the 29th July, to look after one house and to my surprise I had no anxiety, I was actually looking forward to it, being able to do what i wanted to do and when i wanted to do it and nobody to answer to if I spent the whole day in my PJ’s. I had a great week

The 2nd week I thought I would get anxious too as it was a house I hadn’t stopped the night in before and in a place I wasn’t really familiar with….. Of I went from one house to the other expecting the anxiety to appear but it never did… I was fine, no anxiety whatsoever all week.

I amazed myself that I could do this this last two weeks and although I did miss my cats I was really comfortable with my own company, I actually enjoyed it (I never thought I would ever say that) I think at the minute I have beaten my monophobia and really like being on my own as well as being with people.

Could I live alone? Yes I think I could!

[nomorepanic]

Well done Emmz :yahoo::yesyes:

I actually love living alone but my sister hates it!

It is harder now because of my circumstances but that is mainly as I have had a run of illnesses to deal with and sometimes you just want a hug to make you feel better.

Generally though, I get to do what I want when I want and watch what I want on the TV so it is all good for me really.

[venusbluejeans]

Thanks Nic :D :hugs:

I know we have spoken about you and your illnesses and that being the only time you didn't really like being alone..... sending you a virtual hug, I know it isn't quite the same but all I can do for now until we next meet up :weep:

http://25.media.tumblr.com/2916300da0dda1fe8c214b1cde52a3ec/tumblr_mznf1dS1An1rgi7odo1_400.gif

[venusbluejeans]

wow, thank you all for your wonderful replies.......I am humbled.

[swgrl09]

Aw, Venus I am sorry you did not get replies. That is a real shame. I have been away all weekend until today and am sad to see this has gone unnoticed. What you have achieved is a great success and you should be very proud of yourself!!

I struggle with being alone too. I think it would make sense that it would be scary for you considering you were alone when you experienced trauma. Trauma makes us feel unsafe all the time, even when we rationally know we are safe. It is a different type of anxiety that triggers that fight or flight reaction.

I think you should get a lot of support for the growth you have shown.

Congratulations and wish people on here were a bit more supportive... We have to highlight successes - especially for one of our admins!!

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Carnation]

Emmz, I think you deserve a pat on the back and more! :hugs:

I also suffer from the exact same thing, but didn't know it had a name.

I do think it is caused by a past trigger, maybe on more than one occasion.

I am being left alone for almost a whole day on Wednesday; the first time in nearly a year and I am absolutely petrified!!! :scared15:

Just the idea of that is making me panic before anything might even happen.
I try to put in as many coping and survival skills as I can, but I am NOT looking forward to it. However, it is something I want to overcome.

It was a very brave thing you tackled and you should be proud. :)

[dale12345]

I have the same thing, good for you.:D proud of you.

[Pipkin]

Emmz,

Only just seen your thread :shrug: Well done! It shows we have to face up to our fears and that they're rarely as bad as we think.

Pip :hugs:

[Moley]

Well Done Emmz that is brill. :D

[Sunflower2]

That would be really tough for me.. I've never even spent one night on my own cause I'm too scared!! No idea what I'm scared of either.. Perhaps feeling like we need someone in case we can't look after ourselves?

I admire your courage and it is funny how often we doubt our capabilities! Maybe I will manage to do this one day too!

[skymaid]

Well done. Always uplifting to read about someone nailing one of these phobias.

[venusbluejeans]

Thank you everyone for the reolies.... I think everyone were too busy to reply before

it is amazing what you can do when you think you can't :) :)

Thanks again

[Mercime]

Congratulations on your accomplishments, I'm sure it has done wonders for your self confidence. Good to hear a positive story.

[venusbluejeans]

Thank you Mercime :)

[KeeKee]

Congrats venusbluejeans :-)

[Elen]

I meant to reply to this ages ago, sorry Emmz.

I remember the times when you were panicking like mad because you were on your own or couldn't face driving your car.

Just look at you now!!! You have worked so hard to get to where you are and you deserve to enjoy every single minute of it.

Great to have a success story on here and prove that things can be overcome and what has happened in the past does not have to be a predictor of what will happen in the future.