View Full Version : Anxiety all time low please help
I feel so low at the moment. I'm always worrying I have a brain tumour. I say always. Over the months it's been every other debilitating illness you can think of. Everyone's sick of me. My boyfriend is close to leaving me but all I worry is that I'm dying deep down.
Now''s the time to do summat about it then :)
---------- Post added at 10:38 ---------- Previous post was at 10:36 ----------
You actually do have a debilitating illness. It's called anxiety get help and overcome it
I can't stop freaking out even though I'm so close to losing mu best friend/boyfriend. What can I do? I've left it too late for therpat
Rubbish it's never too late. Life is short and you need to take control. Ring doc and get an appointment. Explain everything. If you lose your boyfriend you'll be in a worse predicament so take the first step
As in I'm moving countries in two months :/
Massive step also a massive opportunity. 2 months gives you time to get started on getting your head sorted. It won't be easy but you can make am improvement
If someone's smoking two floors below my window would I smell it?
Depends on ventilation, your sense of smell and the air currents.
I feel loke this is it now and I do have a tumour and nobody believes me because of my worries before.
Theres another way of looking at that (and how i stopped worrying about random symptoms)
Ok ask yourself what if you really DO have a tumour? What would happen? You'd get treatment and survive or not. Either way you still have to try and enjoy the rest of your life.
Right now you're ruining your enjoyment of life based on something that may or may not happen.
---------- Post added at 11:55 ---------- Previous post was at 11:26 ----------
I have a friend who i've known for 10-15 years. everytime I saw her she was worried about a new illness. ibs then angina then stomach cancer then something else. I forget now.
anyway she spent all those years worrying and now shes actually got accelerated early parkingsons (its called something else). within 2 years she ls now unable to even feed herself or speak. doesn't have long left. depressing story. but ever time I saw her till she couldnt reay communicate she said she wishes she hadnt spent all that time worrying about being ill.
the point is get some help before you waste too much of your life worrying about something that might happen.
I should know ive wasted enough of mine eith emetophobia already (and im getting help)
Until you take control this will carry on. Deal with the anxiety and live your life. Good luck :)
I ask this knowing full well you probably won't reply, but if you're so convinced you have a brain tumour, why aren't you taking these questions to your doctor?
How many closed threads is it going to take before you get the hint? Asking about your symptoms here is getting you absolutely nowhere!
I have made an appointment for tonight. I made this thread because of how bad my anxiety actually is right now I have everyone shouting and moaning at me but I'm so convinced/worried.
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 12:54
Helen/Reb - there is loads of self-help you can do to overcome this and some excellent books on HA.
You have to take control of your life now.
You may well lose your friends and boyfriend so what are you doing to stop that?
If you truly love him you will be making steps to get better not just continually saying you have a brain tumour.
Go to the docs and get a clean bill of health and then buy some anxiety/HA books and READ them. Do some online mindfulness as well. Do anything but do SOMETHING.
Only you can take control of you life - we can't do it for you I am afraid.
My manager is pissed with me to for making appointment with doc but my GP isn't open on a weekend.
My manager is pissed with me to for making appointment with doc but my GP isn't open on a weekend.
Nonsense.
If you have a genuine health concern then it's your employers duty to allow you the time to visit a health professional. Stop making excuses and just go.
venusbluejeans
16-08-16, 13:01
Go to the docs and get a clean bill of health and then buy some anxiety/HA books and READ them. Do some online mindfulness as well. Do anything but do SOMETHING.
Totally agree
It is good to see you replying and interacting with the other members on the forum, people are a lot more receptive to your questions and posting if you give them some feedback and not just carry on with you questions, it makes it look like you are listening to people and taking things on board.
Good luck, and get some help for your anxiety it is NEVER too late
Why, if this is ruining your life and concerning you as much as you claim it is, would you even care what your manager thinks?
I get the impression this is just another excuse to avoid a doctors appointment and continue with this pointless continual posting on several anxiety forums.
I hope this is not the case and that you'll prove me wrong.
When I first was diagnosed with panic disorder and GAD (it pops in and out of health anxiety), I had NO IDEA wtf was happening. I had such intense feelings of fear and was constantly in a state of high anxiety over body sensations (true adrenaline dump, burning skin, face flushing, heart beating out of my chest, pain, etc.) that I truly couldn't deal. I was a mess at work, a mess in my relationship, my family was super concerned.
In the end, I lost my job as a waitress (I was in school), took time off school, lost my relationship, moved home...but I got therapy. I learned everything I could about my disorder and went on meds. I wish I could say I was cured. It's not one and done---it's a life long thing I cycle in and out of. But, you know, the more you learn and deal with it, you learn to ride it out.
I've read through your posts, Helen. You have a lot of people cheering you on! You're young, you can beat this---you just have to stop lying to yourself and others, and find whatever you need to move beyond the breathless immediacy of the "health concern du jour." Find your anchor.
No I'm going still but she isn't happy. I've had walk in appointments for other things in the past that's why.
I really struggle with your posts as i am not ashamed to say i have much trouble believing them for many reasons, but there is a chance i am completely wrong and you really are living like this. So for that reason i feel compelled to reply to you
I've had EXTREME health anxiety, so extreme every single day of my life was completely taken over by the fear and absolute certainty that i was dying. So i can relate to that side of things and the 'What ifs'.
Through it all though i wanted to get back to normal more than anything, and i 100% recognized that i had health anxiety, i read up a lot on anxiety itself and health anxiety, i read through so many people's personal stories and self help forums.
Ultimately i have a fear of death, i can't understand it, i can't accept it and i think about it far too often. I recognized this problem within myself, and while i still have that fear and i still have a struggle with anxiety, i'm in a much better place to be able to tackle this.
I challenge you to do one thread just talking, without mentioning a brain tumour and any symptoms. A thread just focused on your one issue with is ANXIETY and fear, for whatever reason you have this, you DO have this.
Lets talk about you? Who are you? What are your hobbies(if any), What food do you like, music do you like, where would you like to be in 10 years time, any embarrassing stories, what are your DREAMS?
You are not this anxiety, and you need to find you again and not grow old(WHICH YOU WILL DO) with regrets.
:whiplash::yesyes:
Im 25, from Derby uk, have a great relationship with a boy who's sick of me, a close family, a job I'm good at but bored with. I'm leaving for South Korea in a few months with my boyfriend. I have a good group of friends. I'm Pervy, consider myself to be funny, I am the honest friend everyone needs.
I just hate that grip anxiety has
Im 25, from Derby uk, have a great relationship with a boy who's sick of me, a close family, a job I'm good at but bored with. I'm leaving for South Korea in a few months with my boyfriend. I have a good group of friends. I'm Pervy, consider myself to be funny, I am the honest friend everyone needs.
I just hate that grip anxiety has
:D This is refreshing i'm 25 too(nearly 26) and i enjoy a dirty joke every now and then
:roflmao:
Let us know how docs goes
MyNameIsTerry
16-08-16, 13:56
No I'm going still but she isn't happy. I've had walk in appointments for other things in the past that's why.
It happens, Reb, I've been a manager myself and whilst there is a duty of care, the business has needs too so managers get annoyed if this happens more than it should or if it's something that can't be covered. Other staff may cover and complain. It can depend where you work and what your manager is like. She could even be having a bad day.
But go to the appointment anyway. It's best to just get things moving although I'm not sure what a GP is going to do with your trip looming.
If you are planning on seeing a GP about a brain tumour and not your anxiety, it will be a wasted trip. By all means tell the GP about it but you need to get across your level of fear, the impact on your life and how irrational it is so that he/she decides on anxiety and doesn't waste time on any testing.
How come you're moving to South Korea? Sounds very exciting :)
venusbluejeans
16-08-16, 14:08
If you are planning on seeing a GP about a brain tumour and not your anxiety, it will be a wasted trip. By all means tell the GP about it but you need to get across your level of fear, the impact on your life and how irrational it is so that he/she decides on anxiety and doesn't waste time on any testing.
completely agree,yes mentiont that your main fear is a brain tumour etc BUT the main part of it needs to be your anxiety about it...... don't go and say you think you have a brain tumour..... you have anxiety about thinking you have a brain tumour
Hi Helen,
As someone who's moved countries several times (I'm currently in Japan), I can say that you will probably get anxious as the day looms, and that may feed into your HA. The anxiety about moving is normal - everyone gets it. Korea's a great place to be - people are a bit more open than in Japan, and I'm sure you will have some exciting adventures.
I'm absolutely terrified I don't even know what to say!
---------- Post added at 17:08 ---------- Previous post was at 17:05 ----------
Pulosa I'm going there to teach English with m may be boyfriend
Terrified regarding docs appointment Fish but I know what you mean.
print off any of your threads to show them the degree of your anxiety.
Try and write down what you need to talk about, ie your anxiety and how it manifests itself.
What time is the appointment?
Shall I mention the smells?
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 17:33
Mention everything!
My son teaches English abroad. He's really enjoying it
Wow helenhoo if you really are at the doctors I'm so excited for you. Not to say you're a liar or anything just with all the hassle that has went on. This is the beginning of your recovery!
Tell the truth hun, but please please tell them how badly this HA is affecting you and harming your relationships with friends and family
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 18:33
I wish our doctor's was still open for appointments at 6.20pm!
Mine do workers appointments on certain days up to 6.50, always booked up though you have to call way in advance!
---------- Post added at 18:35 ---------- Previous post was at 18:34 ----------
Helen I hope you're on here to show them these threads :)
I wish my doctor allowed you to view a thread on an anxiety forum whilst he's talking.
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 18:36
Well the one I went to yesterday was booked 3 weeks ago. There is no way you would get the same day appointment at our surgery unless it was an emergency and you have to talk to the doctor when you call so they can assess if it is or not.
Been & he said I don't have a tumour. He referred me for counselling and suggested meds but said he's not a fan himself. He said I'd have other symptoms so now I'm worrying about the other symptoms.
---------- Post added at 18:38 ---------- Previous post was at 18:37 ----------
They do a late night surgery and it was a cancellation
:doh: did you explain how much this has taken over your life?
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 18:40
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo do not start posting about those as well.
How long will the counselling appointment take then?
What exactly did he say about medication?
To be fair my GP surgery is open until late some nights. I'm in the North East of England but I remember having an appointment around 7pm.
---------- Post added at 18:42 ---------- Previous post was at 18:41 ----------
By other symptoms he'll have meant obvious symptoms. Did you tell him you were leaving the country in 2 months?
I did. I could tell he was getting annoyed. He said he never says never but in this case he wil. I was like 9/10 there's a source but what about where there isn't?
---------- Post added at 18:44 ---------- Previous post was at 18:43 ----------
Yes but I worry I may get the other symptoms. My eyes have been a bit fuzzy today but I believe that's because I'm tired.
I did. I could tell he was getting annoyed. He said he never says never but in this case he wil. I was like 9/10 there's a source but what about where there isn't?
---------- Post added at 18:44 ---------- Previous post was at 18:43 ----------
Yes but I worry I may get the other symptoms. My eyes have been a bit fuzzy today but I believe that's because I'm tired.
What did you say to him about your anxiety
That's its taken over and I'm close to losing my boyfroend and I'm pushing people away.
So no medication, just a referral for counselling in the distant future sometime?
How long were you in there for?
Did he give you any estimates on how long you'd be waiting for counselling?
Been & he said I don't have a tumour. He referred me for counselling and suggested meds but said he's not a fan himself.
That actually makes me REALLY ANGRY.
He said 'he's not a fan himself'.
He is a bloody GP - a so-called medical professional!!!! His opinion on being a fan or not a fan about medication or any other treatment for mental health is IRRELEVANT!!! He is supposed to be totally impartial, with a view to what is in his patient's BEST INTERESTS.
Sorry, but what a total a****le. :curse::curse::curse:
You'll be in SK by the time that comes around knowing the NHS
10 mins I guess.
In the whole ten minutes your name was showing at the bottom of the page as viewing this thread.
What was his name? He sounds like a right waste of space!
I went Gary!
---------- Post added at 19:15 ---------- Previous post was at 19:14 ----------
He was nice. He said he prefers counselling first and then medication he wasn't totally against it i think he wanted me to say yes to it.
Is it the first time you've been about these issues? If so I think he's done what most doctors would do. When I was diagnosed with PND I saw somebody for a while before I eventually took antidepressants.
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 19:19
In the whole ten minutes your name was showing at the bottom of the page as viewing this thread.
It does that for about an hour I think (may be 30 mins, I can't remember) but even if someone logs off it still shows what they were last doing.
Carrie8484
16-08-16, 19:22
A few people have asked you what date you go to South Korea, but you never answer.
It's okay to say you don't want to go. If you did go, it's not permanent. Trial it, give it a couple of months and don't think of it as being anything you'll be doing for the rest of your life. It might be a few hundred quid but a flight home is always possible.
If you did go to the Dr, I hope now you've seen a medical professional who told you you definitely do not have a tumour, you can put that fear to bed.
I think you need counselling, but you may have to do some work yourself using online resources in the meantime depending on the wait and your move.
But why don't I feel any better?
A doctor has told you that you don't have a brain tumour, what more do you want?
Therapy before any meds?
Not my GP.
When I saw my doctor in 2003 and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, she was adamant that I take meds FIRST and she would refer me to MIND for counselling.
I didn't want meds but she said if I did not agree, she would not make the referral.
She explained that the meds treat the most SEVERE effects of depression/anxiety - the physical stuff that is causing it, ie. decreased serotonin.
The therapy addresses the root causes of the mental health condition, and ways to cope.
Because nothing has been done about the real problem which is your anxiety.
There are loads of on line resources available but they will require work.
Perhaps considering meds to give you a jump start in dealing with all of this should be considered.
I didn't want meds but she said if I did not agree, she would not make the referral.
I think that is disgusting to be honest.
People can be adrenaline addicts. You are obviously receiving some sort of payoff for this circular pattern of fear/reassurance seeking beyond the scope of true health anxiety. It isn't about the illness at all, it's about the reward...so what's the payoff? When behavior becomes maladaptive, people seek a way out---however long, however difficult. I know our brains can short circuit and we can remain stuck in behavior patterns for a very long time, but most of us will not continue doing things which do not serve us in some way. So what is the reward?
Honestly I don't know. I'm now worrying about my bloody eyes. The doctor even looked in my eyes for me even though he said he didn't have to and said they're healthy. My eyes feel a bit strained
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 20:07
But why don't I feel any better?
Because you knew deep down it wasn't a brain tumour and by a doctor confirming this it has left you with nothing to believe you have that is real - apart from anxiety and now you have to battle that.
I used to wish for a physical reason for all my issues and when they didn't find anything it was so hard to accept that it was anxiety and that was going to be a long, hard battle to beat and it was.
I would have preferred them to send you to CBT and not counselling though to be honest.
In the meantime, as I have said before, you have to start self-help now.
Honestly I don't know. I'm now worrying about my bloody eyes. The doctor even looked in my eyes for me even though he said he didn't have to and said they're healthy. My eyes feel a bit strained
Don't start down this road again, this has a lot to do with how you are driving people away.
Because you knew deep down it wasn't a brain tumour and by a doctor confirming this it has left you with nothing to believe you have that is real - apart from anxiety and now you have to battle that.
I used to wish for a physical reason for all my issues and when they didn't find anything it was so hard to accept that it was anxiety and that was going to be a long, hard battle to beat and it was.
Very, very true.
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 20:20
Honestly I don't know. I'm now worrying about my bloody eyes. The doctor even looked in my eyes for me even though he said he didn't have to and said they're healthy. My eyes feel a bit strained
If the doctor said to you "It isn't a brain tumour or your big toe would be itching", what do you think would happen next?
Yup your big toe would itch.
It is vicious circle you are in and I don't understand why you don't or can't help yourself at all.
Honestly I don't know. I'm now worrying about my bloody eyes. The doctor even looked in my eyes for me even though he said he didn't have to and said they're healthy. My eyes feel a bit strained
Who or what told you that any of these things you keep pointing out are signs of a bloody brain tumour? You do realise that a brain tumour doesn't show up subtly, don't you? At this point you would be ill to the point of probably not being able to leave your bed if you did indeed have a brain tumour.
You have anxiety, no more, no less. You have been told this by countless people here who have first hand experience, your friends and family, and now by a god damn doctor who spends his days telling people what's wrong with them.
Accept you have anxiety and do something about it. This whining and fretting about every fart and itch is completely and utterly pointless.
But why don't I feel any better?
Because you have that trip looming over your head, and the stress of it has manifested itself into all of these anxiety related symptoms.
Helen/Reb .. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that anxiety can muddy your symptoms, create it's own and totally confuse your brain so totally that you do not know which end is up. I get that.
I don't believe you will feel better until you are over this trip .. either by backing out or when you return home.
Can I make at least one humorous comment? I did sort of think he was handsome, he was a double for a young Jeff goldblum lol.
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 20:44
Send us a link to the GP surgery so we can look him up - I like Jeff Goldblum :winks:
brucealmighty
16-08-16, 20:47
would you try hypnotherapy? you can pay for it privately and I`m told its very effective for lots of things, it might work for your health anxiety and you could get a few sessions in to help with general relaxation
I was trying to be serious/get my anxiety across but was thinking of that scene of him topless aha.
Helenhoo - did you see that I answered your question?
Please respond.
I think that is disgusting to be honest.
You are entitled to your opinion. I disagree as the patient.
At the time I was annoyed at that, but in retrospect - considering just how ill I was at the time - I believe she did the absolute BEST THING for me, as she doubtless felt that If I wasn't medicated, it would be game over.
I don't see it as 'disgusting' whatsoever.
Nancy I had acknowledged your comment, sorry for not replying. I just need to feel me again.
Do you answer anyone's sincere questions or acknowledge anyone else's life experiences/recommendations with honest reflection? Or just a cursory response in order to get a new concern out there for others to possibly handle/reassure you of? Do you see how profoundly self centered this cycle is?
Again, what do you have to gain from this? What is the payoff? Attention? Addicted to the adrenaline burn of fear? Cannot tolerate things being "good" or normal? Sincere questions, all. I've seen so, so many people continue on with you in good faith...has me scratching my head. What are you getting from this?
I don't do this for any reason? I really dont. Not at all.
You are entitled to your opinion. I disagree as the patient.
At the time I was annoyed at that, but in retrospect - considering just how ill I was at the time - I believe she did the absolute BEST THING for me, as she doubtless felt that If I wasn't medicated, it would be game over.
I don't see it as 'disgusting' whatsoever.
I'm sure it was and I'm sure if other people were in the same position they too would also say it was the best thing for them. However the way I see it is she was withholding treatment unless you adhered to her terms. I don't think that's even allowed (although I'm aware this was 2003).
Nancy I had acknowledged your comment, sorry for not replying. I just need to feel me again.
Do believe that it is possible that all of the symptoms you are feeling are from the beast we know called - anxiety?
(My mother called it - the devil)
And that this anxiety is because of the trip?
helenhoo, God knows I and others here know precisely how you feel and can empathise, being trapped in the cycle of fear and anxiety - been there, done that, trapped in one myself at the moment actually.......BUT....
.....the only person who can REALLY seize control back here - and though you may feel you are doomed and cannot do that - is YOU. Don't let anxiety fool you into thinking it controls you. It doesn't.
You have to firstly acknowledge that this is your anxiety screaming at you right now. Once you accept that, YOU need to seek out help, and then really stick at that help.
Anxiety like this is not going to magically disappear, not in my experience anyway. The longer it remains unrecognised, the longer your health fears will just continue on.
Getting out of the way you feel right now is highly possible to do, but you have to do much of the work yourself. x
Do you answer anyone's sincere questions or acknowledge anyone else's life experiences/recommendations with honest reflection? Or just a cursory response in order to get a new concern out there for others to possibly handle/reassure you of? Do you see how profoundly self centered this cycle is?
Again, what do you have to gain from this? What is the payoff? Attention? Addicted to the adrenaline burn of fear? Cannot tolerate things being "good" or normal? Sincere questions, all. I've seen so, so many people continue on with you in good faith...has me scratching my head. What are you getting from this?
And this is the post that hits the nail on the head. I find it ironic, that after we have been told off by admin for responding to these posts, that is exactly what they are doing! Its all been said ad nauseum. I had no intention of responding but wanted to highlight the post above.
And this is the post that hits the nail on the head. I find it ironic, that after we have been told off by admin for responding to these posts, that is exactly what they are doing! Its all been said ad nauseum. I had no intention of responding but wanted to highlight the post above.
I had absolute no idea we'd been told off for responding to these posts.
People do not do things they do not want to do, however subconscious or maladaptive/unhealthy those choices might be at the time. There is a payoff for this (by this, I mean the continual cycle, seeming inability to get proper help after so very, very long of the same behavior, etc.). At some point, people step back and if they have a shred of logic left (which you claim to have), they seize that and get help. Has no one in your life said, that's it, we're getting you on meds/psychological help right now? Anyone stage an intervention? Because as an newbie/outsider just reading this, it strikes me as addiction.
Well no reason that I feel is being suggested. I post for the same reasons everyone else on here does.
Debs i know I can do it, I have take control before. I was so scared about melanoma at one point but I enjoyed my holiday in dresses and skirts (lotions up!) and I didn't think I would a few months back. I was sneaking off to toilets to check my freckles and posted on here loads and then I decided not to worry one day (after fourth nurse told me I was being silly) it's just harder now.
Please keep posts on topic and not use it for discussing other thoughts.
is there a way via admin of imposing a time out or similar if someone is posting very similar things all the time? it seems chicken and egg from what I`ve seen, people get irritated when their advice isn`t acknowledged and are advised not to respond - but the thread originator could equally stop their habit of answering half a question or seemingly playing games with well meaning people, or posting constantly about vague symptoms.
very difficult to know peoples motives
I do agree with this, you never get a full sincere answer(in my opinion) and it just goes back to the same thing.
It just confuses me how health anxiety can be taking over your life that much that you need to post constantly but manage to pretty much live a normal life as well as working and making comments about the doctors looks.
I don't really feel you told us how the conversation went at all, if I'd been posting for as long as you had I'd pretty much type the entire appointment out for other members as they are the ones who have been trying to help.
I don't know really, I think most feel the same way when something doesn't sit right, and were all struggling not here to judge but some things are right in your face :huh:
I am going to delete all posts that I deem to be moving away from the original topic and that will include some that have replied to these posts.
For anyone that this affects it is not personal
How dare you :roflmao: leave my first one though that was good :yesyes:
Here is another hug for you,Reb.:hugs: Try and smile today:D.
How dare you :roflmao: leave my first one though that was good :yesyes:
lol :yesyes:
I deleted mine so no need....
Positive thoughts and deleted posts
Stop breaking the rules Gary A! :whiplash:
Helen are you there? If you're upto it can you tell me a bit more of what he said other than he's not a fan of meds, is this a doctor you've seen before are they aware of how long you've been suffering from anxiety?
Stop breaking the rules Gary A! :whiplash
:roflmao:
---------- Post added at 22:37 ---------- Previous post was at 22:32 ----------
A lot of doctors hesitate to prescribe meds simply because of the side effects. This can be quite tricky, as of course, you're dealing with someone who is complaining about physical symptoms giving them a percieved illness. Giving that person medication that will almost certainly give them yet more physical symptoms and sensations can add fuel to the fire.
However, a doctor should explain this line of reasoning, they shouldn't just say "nah, I'm not a fan of them."
No it isn't a doctor I've seen before. I just said I felt that my anxiety was out of control and I was currently fearing brain tumours because of this smell. I said 9/10 there's a source but I worry about the times there isn't anything. He said it was extremely rare for brain tumours let alone someone my age. He mentioned ct scan (?) but said he wouldn't because of radiation and MRI but doubt the radiologists would condemn it. He said I could pay for it but wouldn't suggest as I don't need it.
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 22:43
Some of you may be interested in this post regarding CBT and medication:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=118728
Read my comments on there.
No it isn't a doctor I've seen before. I just said I felt that my anxiety was out of control and I was currently fearing brain tumours because of this smell. I said 9/10 there's a source but I worry about the times there isn't anything. He said it was extremely rare for brain tumours let alone someone my age. He mentioned ct scan (?) but said he wouldn't because of radiation and MRI but doubt the radiologists would condemn it. He said I could pay for it but wouldn't suggest as I don't need it.
GREAT.
So he ponders referring you for a very expensive CT scan/suchlike in a heartbeat, but he has issues with a first line treatment for ANXIETY such as meds.
No wonder the NHS is screwed.
No it isn't a doctor I've seen before. I just said I felt that my anxiety was out of control and I was currently fearing brain tumours because of this smell. I said 9/10 there's a source but I worry about the times there isn't anything. He said it was extremely rare for brain tumours let alone someone my age. He mentioned ct scan (?) but said he wouldn't because of radiation and MRI but doubt the radiologists would condemn it. He said I could pay for it but wouldn't suggest as I don't need it.
What have I told you previously about these smells? What characteristics do "phantom smells" caused by brain tumours and epilepsy have?
nomorepanic
16-08-16, 22:47
I do not believe that a doctor would suggest a CT scan or MRI without first referring you to a neurologist for testing.
I do not believe that a doctor would suggest a CT scan or MRI without first referring you to a neurologist for testing.
GP's can't refer for brain imaging, only neurologists or ENT doctors can.
Interesting. General/family even gynos are very willing to prescribe SRI drugs as first line of treatment while also advising therapy. I've never had a psychiatrist, only GPs who were more than willing to work with me at various points (in and out of therapy) to give me meds.
Very surprised that your doc didn't automatically suggest it. Unless, that is, 1) you were not upfront with the severity of your anxiety (as in, taking the good advice of others here and showing them a page from this site) or 2) your anxiety is not as serious as it appears on this board and/or 3) you have reasons why you continue this cycle without availing yourself of possible treatment.
I do not believe that a doctor would suggest a CT scan or MRI without first referring you to a neurologist for testing.
I thought that! I had to bloody beg for months for one on my back after suffering a long time in my experience they don't offer these scans Willy nilly without reason
ServerError
16-08-16, 22:51
Something doesn't add up here.
How did Reb, who is very anti-meds, get the one GP in the UK who is also anti-meds?
Why would a British GP not offer meds when most of them hand them out like Skittles?
Why would he start going on about scans she doesn't need and that he can't refer her for anyway?
He must be terrible.
Carrie8484
16-08-16, 22:52
Thank you for acknowledging my post earlier helenhoo, oh wait... You didn't.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is another reason why I feel our legs are being pulled.
Surely when someone is there with severe health anxiety and displaying no signs of a physical problem the last thing you would do is mention a CT scan
Cause yet again, she is making up a pack of lies and is not seeing help
For her anxiety but trying to seek help for the Imaganiary brain tumour with the Imaganiary symptoms. First line of call for some who has as severe anxiety (apparently) as Helen/reb would be a low level antidepressant/anti anxiety med, from there if there was no improvement would be referred to a phsyciatrist who would prescribe other types of medication. Then from there would be psychology. Under no circumstances can A GP send you for a scan. You have to be referred to a specialist or be in hospital and given one then. So I highly highly doubt a GP would have mentioned anything about a scan.
This all again is Helen/reb diverting from the fact she needs her anxiety controlled seriously and proberly telling the doctor lies or a long list of physical symptoms and not mentioning her anxiety what's so ever.
I said I wouldn't comment again..but when someone is making up clear lies or hiding certain aspects, I just wanted to make it aware to non U.K. Members that are here that this is the general procedure for someone with anxiety if they have actually mentioned anxiety.
Cause yet again, she is making up a pack of lies and is not seeing help
For her anxiety but trying to seek help for the Imaganiary brain tumour with the Imaganiary symptoms. First line of call for some who has as severe anxiety (apparently) as Helen/reb would be a low level antidepressant/anti anxiety med, from there if there was no improvement would be referred to a phsyciatrist who would prescribe other types of medication. Then from there would be psychology. Under no circumstances can A GP send you for a scan. You have to be referred to a specialist or be in hospital and given one then. So I highly highly doubt a GP would have mentioned anything about a scan.
This all again is Helen/reb diverting from the fact she needs her anxiety controlled seriously and proberly telling the doctor lies or a long list of physical symptoms and not mentioning her anxiety what's so ever.
I agree, this whole story has been nothing but a pile of absolute nonsense.
Surely when someone is there with severe health anxiety and displaying no signs of a physical problem the last thing you would do is mention a CT scan
Yep, you would think so wouldn't you KatiePink?
Totally counter productive for a HA sufferer, IMO.
Just exacerbates and solidifies the belief something is truly wrong.
MyNameIsTerry
16-08-16, 23:44
People can be adrenaline addicts. You are obviously receiving some sort of payoff for this circular pattern of fear/reassurance seeking beyond the scope of true health anxiety. It isn't about the illness at all, it's about the reward...so what's the payoff? When behavior becomes maladaptive, people seek a way out---however long, however difficult. I know our brains can short circuit and we can remain stuck in behavior patterns for a very long time, but most of us will not continue doing things which do not serve us in some way. So what is the reward?
The OP has OCD, it is NOT about reward. Reward is a component of Impulse Disorders, not OCD.
---------- Post added at 23:31 ---------- Previous post was at 23:22 ----------
People do not do things they do not want to do, however subconscious or maladaptive/unhealthy those choices might be at the time. There is a payoff for this (by this, I mean the continual cycle, seeming inability to get proper help after so very, very long of the same behavior, etc.). At some point, people step back and if they have a shred of logic left (which you claim to have), they seize that and get help. Has no one in your life said, that's it, we're getting you on meds/psychological help right now? Anyone stage an intervention? Because as an newbie/outsider just reading this, it strikes me as addiction.
I'm afraid that's incorrect. In my OCD I was performing many compulsions and I felt I had choice in the matter. Ultimately there will be control but trying to utilise it is sometimes very hard when your anxiety reaches the point to having things like tics.
It's just like the issue with physical symptoms caused by anxiety, subconscious choice is different to conscious choice and takes time to change. We have conscious control to say no but at the worst some behaviours seem automatic, luckily the more out of character, the more we refuse to act. Personality can be playing it's part in there, do you mean that element?
---------- Post added at 23:44 ---------- Previous post was at 23:31 ----------
People seem to be asking why a GP doesn't just hand out meds. Can I suggest you read the NICE guidelines? They tell doctors not to just give out meds as they have always done.
As for severe, this is a patient holding down a job and going on holiday. Those factors oppose such a severity to a doctor because your anxiety had not reached that point where it is damaging your life so dramatically so as totally take over.
Read the NICE guidelines for GAD and OCD, they paint a different picture to what you are saying so your information is flawed in deciding on the motive of the OP.
It may be a case of a choice of either, but it's not the case doctors are supposed to reach straight for antidepressants anymore.
MyNameIsTerry
17-08-16, 00:23
It does that for about an hour I think (may be 30 mins, I can't remember) but even if someone logs off it still shows what they were last doing.
My phone keeps me logged in when switched on because I have NMP open in a tab. I've even had people complain I'm not answering a PM when I was actually out shopping for hours.
Besides, not everyone switches their phone off in the surgery, but we should.
---------- Post added at 00:23 ---------- Previous post was at 00:17 ----------
You'll be in SK by the time that comes around knowing the NHS
Yep, it takes months to even access therapy unless you go private. Even if they started within 30 days, there Is no chance of getting far with weekly sessions as the minimum is usually 6 and they can be 12-15. That's not going to happen, they wouldn't offer it as it means someone else in the queue who can commit will wait longer.
Simple reality. It may be possible to access Stage 2 for some Guided Self Help but that's very limited. The psychological groups are likely a no go due to arranging fixed start dates. Online supported CBT is an option though, if her GP will authorise the funds. She could do that from SK since the support is remote.
ServerError
17-08-16, 00:24
My phone keeps me logged in when switched on because I have NMP open in a tab. I've even had people complain I'm not answering a PM when I was actually out shopping for hours.
Blimey! What were you buying?!
Thank you for acknowledging my post earlier helenhoo, oh wait... You didn't.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is another reason why I feel our legs are being pulled.
Cause yet again, she is making up a pack of lies and is not seeing help
For her anxiety but trying to seek help for the Imaganiary brain tumour with the Imaganiary symptoms. First line of call for some who has as severe anxiety (apparently) as Helen/reb would be a low level antidepressant/anti anxiety med, from there if there was no improvement would be referred to a phsyciatrist who would prescribe other types of medication. Then from there would be psychology. Under no circumstances can A GP send you for a scan. You have to be referred to a specialist or be in hospital and given one then. So I highly highly doubt a GP would have mentioned anything about a scan.
This all again is Helen/reb diverting from the fact she needs her anxiety controlled seriously and proberly telling the doctor lies or a long list of physical symptoms and not mentioning her anxiety what's so ever.
I said I wouldn't comment again..but when someone is making up clear lies or hiding certain aspects, I just wanted to make it aware to non U.K. Members that are here that this is the general procedure for someone with anxiety if they have actually mentioned anxiety.
I agree, this whole story has been nothing but a pile of absolute nonsense.
These display a total lack of compassion for someone who could be in extreme distress. I have suffered from anxiety so severe that I was barely coherent and I couldn't understand what people were trying to tell me so, as a compassionate individual, I choose to give the benefit of the doubt. The possible impact of accusing a vulnerable person of lying is unthinkable. I would have been devastated had that happened to me. I am extremely upset by these responses. Surely it would be better to say nothing at all rather than dive in with clever remarks. I thought NMP members were better than this.
No doubt you'll respond with 'she doesn't listen' and 'you're being naive, it's all made up'. You may be right but at least I can go to bed at night knowing for sure I've tried my best to support a person who is crying out for help. If my suggestions fall on deaf ears, I don't care. If I don't get a thank you for every post I make, so what? It's not about me. I can rest assured that I have tried to help and I know I've done all I can - that really matters to me.
I'm certainly not going to post again on this and be associated with this mob approach. In fact, I'm ashamed.
Pip
MyNameIsTerry
17-08-16, 05:21
I agree with you, Pip, I remain open-minded due to the things I have been through and what I have seen from others. Anxiety can take you to places you didn't realise. A few years back I was sitting terrified on the settee all day worried about any little sensation from any activity. And then came the OCD and my compulsions were in the hundreds per day, plus the obsessive thinking, plus the intrusive thoughts. It all got very muddled with various styles of OCD all colliding to form a daily hell I thought I would never break free from. It took all my effort to wash, eat, brush my teeth and then fight through all the other hours.
I agree with the sentiment about acknowledgment by others, it is a two-way thing on here but at the same time I don't personally care about that since I choose to give my time knowing I'm trying to help. I can understand it upsetting people, that's fair too, but make your grievance and why keep complaining if nothing changes? Move on, lots of threads need help too...we even had a thread about that and yet here we all are again. If you know how someone posts, I think you may have to accept that if you can't change it otherwise you will only make yourself frustrated by getting involved.
Self esteem takes a hug hammering with these disorders, people not getting a response may feel they are worthless I guess, but so can the OP from some of the comments born out of frustration. It's just not worth going there, try to remain dispassionate and these things are no longer triggering.
There is so much in this thread that could have a logical explanation which should come quite easily to mind. For instance:
- logged onto the forum whilst in the surgery = didn't switch phone off so browser still operating.
- still in this thread whilst in the surgery = see above answer.
- why didn't the GP give meds? Aside from that being against NICE guidelines unless it is Moderate-Severe and therapy being the first option in Mild as well as a choice in Moderate, counselling may be free to the surgery because it is funded under a local trust grant. Meds are charged against the surgery, so GP's are under pressure to cut costs and it's not outside the realms of possibility that a GP would prioritise cash over care. If anyone is in doubt, I suggest you have a read through the various threads about this on the Pregabalin board where GP's have come up with some right old porkies for not prescribing that (and since hanshan is in this thread, he knows that all to well as a regular on that board). GP's should prioritise care over cash but that doesn't always happen, for instance in Buckinghamshire the local trust have blacklisted Pregabalin purely due to cost in favour of cheaper Gabapentin. They have official documents online instructing doctors not to prescribe it and not just for the GAD it is licenced for by the MHRA, epilepsy too. There are plenty of other regions where it is readily prescribed, but Scotland is another no go simply because there is an issue with dependence which occurs in drug addicts so their NHS have sacrificed patients due to them. The NHS is often political, they refuse treatments all the time baser on cost alone. Cheap antidepressants in generic form are obviously no bother but who knows what's going on in a surgery's financial plans? Who knows, perhaps this GP is more clued up and follows NICE guidelines and because the patient isn't severe in their eyes, they have no need to refer her to a CMHT and go the IAPT route? CMHT's take forever to access anyway. Someone able to sustain a job, go on holiday, etc. Also, we don't know exactly what the GP has been told about the anxiety.
- GP mentioned a scan. Was this a throwaway comment by the GP since he informed the patient it wasn't needed anyway? I'll admit to scratching my head a bit on this one and believe it shouldn't be mentioned at all but I don't know why the GP mentioned that or about the possibility of private. Perhaps he's just a crap GP? There are lots of them about.
- GP doesn't like using antidepressants. I've seen people on here say their CMHT nurses have said exactly the same. Perhaps they are wary of the meds rollercoaster? Some people have ended up even worse after years of back & forth to find nothing helps. GP's do say some strange things at times (anyone seen the article a magazine ran where people published inane comments from their GP's? It was quite funny, you just wouldn't believe it unless you did?) like mine when my CBT ended and my therapist told me to get the GP to refer me to the CMHT for more intensive therapy. His response? "I think they cause more problems than they solve". So, that's my GP telling me the CMHT is rubbish and will make me worse. A disciplinary offence maybe? I decided to look beneath the surface at the possibility I was being given the brush off due to costs. A further comment was "you will find your own way out of this". I haven't been back since in over 2 years. GP's put walls up when they shouldn't, they also make some ludicrous statements at times as eveidence on threads on here alone.
I do feel that when it comes to HA, posting frequency (and possibly irrationality) can drive opinion on severity. Irrationality is not a good indicator to me, OCDers for instance can have themes like Magical Thinking involved and this one is well known to be very irrational in context e.g. "if I don't use the same spoon to eat this meal everyday, someone will die". Posting frequency is more useful to assess things but when I look at the language involved, I can see people worse than the OP in the impact on their lives e.g. some people can't control their fear enough to work and holidays are out of the question as they are in high anxiety mode all the time.
Isn't that why they use rating scales that look specifically for the impact? Questions about how much of the time are you anxious?
I'm not really sure what a GP can do here, they are hamstrung by the trip. Meds are a gamble as no one has a clue about reaction and therapy/counselling is no chance purely due to lack of time.
---------- Post added at 05:21 ---------- Previous post was at 05:15 ----------
Blimey! What were you buying?!
I was getting in touch with my feminine side :sofa: :roflmao:
The real reason though is that I go for a walk. I don't take straight routes so I can stretch my legs a bit more and spend over an hour walking there & back.
I did the same earlier and remained in this thread. Did I appear as if reading it all that time? I know I often see other people sitting in a thread with no activity for ages and I've always assumed they are not sitting glued to the screen but they are on the net somewhere else with multiple tabs open.
Hi Helen,
I've been looking through your posts and I can't find much detail on your trip to South Korea, except that you are going with your boyfriend to teach English. Do you have things like flights and visa worked out, enough cash to get you started and at least some idea of the work scene and accommodation? If those things are big question marks, you will probably feel very anxious.
As a UK citizen and resident, you can apply for a working holiday visa for Korea for up to two years, but you have to do it in the UK - you can't do it when you arrive or from any other country. But this is by far the easiest way to get started. The conditions aren't too onerous. Don't try to arrive on a tourist visa and find work - it certainly exists, but you will be illegal, underpaid, exploited, and having to leave the country and come back just to renew your visa.
If you seriously want to get a Korean E2 teaching visa, you need a bachelor degree with a notarized /apostilled photocopy, two sealed university transcripts, resume, criminal record check, five passport photos and a statement that you are in good health(!). Serious stuff. (I assembled a pile of fourteen A4 pages of documentation for authorities recently just to extend my existing visa in Japan).
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask - I've been teaching ESL in various countries (including eight months in Korea in 1997) for 30 years.
I did go. I don't know what else to tell you. He was adamant I don't have a Tumor. He mentioned scans after I was going on. He said 'even scans can't be 100%' 'the risks would outweigh the benefits' 'you don't need one, would you pay privately? A good doctor shouldn't even take your money' he wasn't like hey ho have a scan. And in my defence there are a lot of comments here I tend to read the last two pages to catch up I don't ignore people on purpose.
---------- Post added at 07:04 ---------- Previous post was at 07:04 ----------
Thanks Hanshan. I'm going through an external company who have sorted everything out, just have visa left to sort :)
I don't think people on this thread are giving advice,just down right mean.
All playing the Judge and Jury,that's what it looks like too me.
I'm confused. Are you moving to S Korea or are you there on a working holiday?
I don't think people on this thread are giving advice,just down right mean.
All playing the Judge and Jury,that's what it looks like too me.
I think that's a bit far isn't it? I put a lot of effort into my post on here trying to help the OP as i have done so many times, lot's of others have to, there may be some posts you personally think are 'mean' but i don't think you can say people on this thread aren't giving advice, that's exactly what we are doing
Helen,that is your business you don't have too tell anyone x.
---------- Post added at 16:18 ---------- Previous post was at 16:15 ----------
I think that's a bit far isn't it? I put a lot of effort into my post on here trying to help the OP as i have done so many times, lot's of others have to, there may be some posts you personally think are 'mean' but i don't think you can say people on this thread aren't giving advice, that's exactly what we are doing
There are a few that have tried too help,but like I say most are mean.
Helen,that is your business you don't have too tell anyone x.
---------- Post added at 16:18 ---------- Previous post was at 16:15 ----------
There are a few that have tried too help,but like I say most are mean.
Fair enough definitely entitled to your opinion and there is clearly frustration in some posts, just think it would have been better to say 'some' people aren't giving advice because others have not stopped trying :huh:
I'm wondering if I just hallucinated smoke. I saw it in the distance across the park but guy I thought it was wasn't smoking.
Helen,that is your business you don't have too tell anyone x.
---------- Post added at 16:18 ---------- Previous post was at 16:15 ----------
There are a few that have tried too help,but like I say most are mean.
If your post was referring to my question - which it seems to be - then you might take a minute to think about context. In some posts Helen has mentioned moving, which may seem to imply permanently, or at least for an extended period of time, and others she has mentioned a holiday. If she is going to be teaching (and I'm sure Hanshans advice will help tremendously), she will be going in just a few weeks. She is in the grip of severe anxiety and does not seem able to access any help here, whether online or in the "real world".
How will she cope there if she can't get through a single day here? She seems to be in a job which allows her to be logged in and posting regularly - that will be impossible if she is responsible for teaching. Does she intend to seek help in S Korea? Is she trying to access online resources here before she goes?
You don't think it's pertinent to her plans? She isn't getting any better, her departure time is drawing closer. What was so wrong about the question I asked, it was in the context of this thread?
PS. For the record, this is purely for clarification on my part. The advice has already been done as far as I can see.
I WAS not referring too you,i t was in general.
Thank God Hanshan and Terry can be a voice of reason.Hey,just my opinion I am big and ugly enough to handle the criticism.:D.
I WAS not referring too you,i t was in general.
Thank God Hanshan and Terry can be a voice of reason.Hey,just my opinion I am big and ugly enough to handle the criticism.:D.
I WAS not referring too you,i t was in general.
I get that now but like i said your post seems to suggest nobody is giving advice on here, i'm sorry if i am coming across argumentative that's not how i'm intending it. I suppose i took slight offence to it, maybe because i'm tired and hormonal, who knows :noangel:
---------- Post added at 07:57 ---------- Previous post was at 07:56 ----------
You wasn't even talking to me were you :roflmao: told you i'm tired! I'm logging off before i cause irreversible damage :D
---------- Post added at 08:07 ---------- Previous post was at 07:57 ----------
Helen - I just saw your activity as 'Viewing archives - what vision problems do people get'
Seriously, you're not helping yourself at all in the slightest not even a little bit not even a try, yet you are asking for help and advice on here. I think it's time people stepped back unfortunately.
I am trying. Was it likely I saw someone's cigarette walking past? Are visual hallucinations related k tumours? I don't think I'm schizophrenic.
Given that the OP has a history of faking GP appointments, I think it's only human nature to be wary about her claiming to have made another one. Ok, hands up, perhaps I jumped out the window too quickly and I shouldn't have. For that, helenhoo, I'll appologise.
As you've given more details of the consultation it's become much clearer that you did go. I think that was part of the problem, suspicious people mixed with a lack of detail just led people to the wrong conclusion. It's an Internet forum, it happens. No excuses from me though, I was wrong and I'm sorry for that.
I will not, however, tolerate people saying that I'm judging, or that I don't care. I have given a lot of my free time up to try and talk sense into the OP, and while I'm hardly offering hugs and kisses, I'm trying to simply drum it into her that she's wasting her time posting here. I'm doing so with a tactic that I think will work best.
Of course I will make mistakes, of course I'll say things that are probably crossing a line. If I become aware of that I'll hold my hands up and say sorry. It is never ever my intent to hurt anyone, I just want to see a positive result, and if that means saying it as I see it then that's what I'll do.
I find it strange that the administrator of this site seemed to be having the same doubts as I, and a few others, and yet, I see no mention of this from anyone who has decided to take a stand here. I see no mention of the fact that admin were locking the OP's threads and bemoaning people for responding to them. This is not a criticism of anyone, it's just an observation.
What everyone would do well to remember is that we all have our own lives, our own emotions and our own problems. Some of those that have criticised the OP are knee deep in their own anxieties, yet there seems to be no problem criticising and judging those people. Aren't they viewed as "vulnerable"? Do you instantly lose that vulnerability the minute you become the responder, rather than the questioner?
As for helenhoo, you have spoken more about your anxiety in the last 24 hours than you have in your whole time posting here. If you keep leaning this way then you're on to something. It's a start, anyway. If you go back toward obsessing over the physical symptoms you think you have, you will be too busy trying to fight that fire to even begin to throw water on the real issue, which is your anxiety.
Whether your anxiety is born from health issues or emotional uncertainty due to your move, well, that's what we can help figure out. You just have to help us out by being honest and trying as hard as you can to ignore those silly physical symptoms. Anxiety can and will give you physical sensations, the more you focus on them, the worse they'll get.
Keep yourself on this road and you may just get somewhere with it.
What everyone would do well to remember is that we all have our own lives, our own emotions and our own problems. Some of those that have criticised the OP are knee deep in their own anxieties, yet there seems to be no problem criticising and judging those people. Aren't they viewed as "vulnerable"? Do you instantly lose that vulnerability the minute you become the responder, rather than the questioner?
This is a great and valid point i agree
These display a total lack of compassion for someone who could be in extreme distress. I have suffered from anxiety so severe that I was barely coherent and I couldn't understand what people were trying to tell me so, as a compassionate individual, I choose to give the benefit of the doubt. The possible impact of accusing a vulnerable person of lying is unthinkable. I would have been devastated had that happened to me. I am extremely upset by these responses. Surely it would be better to say nothing at all rather than dive in with clever remarks. I thought NMP members were better than this.
No doubt you'll respond with 'she doesn't listen' and 'you're being naive, it's all made up'. You may be right but at least I can go to bed at night knowing for sure I've tried my best to support a person who is crying out for help. If my suggestions fall on deaf ears, I don't care. If I don't get a thank you for every post I make, so what? It's not about me. I can rest assured that I have tried to help and I know I've done all I can - that really matters to me.
I'm certainly not going to post again on this and be associated with this mob approach. In fact, I'm ashamed.
Pip
Well said Pip, I too am ashamed by some of the responses on here, it most certainly is not in the spirit of what NMP is about.
I would be willing to bet that there are people who have seen some of the responses on these threads and have decided not to post at all as this is obviously not a safe place.
As for not listening there are more than Reb here guilty of that. Numerous Admins have said that this behaviour is not acceptable and still here we are with a small group of people being absolutely vile.
Reb is doing nothing wrong by posting here but those of you that are calling her a liar, and judging every little thing that is said on these threads are definitely showing NMP in a very poor light.
I am truly saddened that the actions of a few has resulted in Admin having to get so involved in these threads.
Carrie8484
17-08-16, 09:38
These display a total lack of compassion for someone who could be in extreme distress. I have suffered from anxiety so severe that I was barely coherent and I couldn't understand what people were trying to tell me so, as a compassionate individual, I choose to give the benefit of the doubt. The possible impact of accusing a vulnerable person of lying is unthinkable. I would have been devastated had that happened to me. I am extremely upset by these responses. Surely it would be better to say nothing at all rather than dive in with clever remarks. I thought NMP members were better than this.
No doubt you'll respond with 'she doesn't listen' and 'you're being naive, it's all made up'. You may be right but at least I can go to bed at night knowing for sure I've tried my best to support a person who is crying out for help. If my suggestions fall on deaf ears, I don't care. If I don't get a thank you for every post I make, so what? It's not about me. I can rest assured that I have tried to help and I know I've done all I can - that really matters to me.
I'm certainly not going to post again on this and be associated with this mob approach. In fact, I'm ashamed.
Pip
Poppycock Pipkin.
Maybe people are fed up of their advice being ignored and zero acknowledgement while the poster posts the same things, day after day after day after day.... Look at the direction the thread had gone in now.. The poster is back to the cigarette smoke obsession.
All advice had fallen on deaf ears.
There are 'enablers' on these threads who think they are well meaning but it is, in fact, having the opposite effect and is feeding the poster's desire to continue posting about topics we have exhausted to death. I'd be very pleas for the OP if she finally stepped away from posting about symptoms every one of us experiences on a daily basis (smelling cigarette smoke, hearing people speak as they walk past) and finally received help for her OCD/health anxiety. She works full time, goes on holiday, has a boyfriend, gets drunk... I'd love to be able to do some of those things. I don't think she's an extreme case, but posting on here in not doing her any good imo...
Also very good point from Gary about the admins locking threads, then coming back on this thread with a completely altered view...
Well said Pip, I too am ashamed by some of the responses on here, it most certainly is not in the spirit of what NMP is about.
I would be willing to bet that there are people who have seen some of the responses on these threads and have decided not to post at all as this is obviously not a safe place.
As for not listening there are more than Reb here guilty of that. Numerous Admins have said that this behaviour is not acceptable and still here we are with a small group of people being absolutely vile.
Reb is doing nothing wrong by posting here but those of you that are calling her a liar, and judging every little thing that is said on these threads are definitely showing NMP in a very poor light.
I am truly saddened that the actions of a few has resulted in Admin having to get so involved in these threads.
If she's doing nothing wrong then why were admin locking her threads?
I don't think anyone has been 'vile' ? Maybe i have a very different definition of being vile to someone. :huh:
I think Gary's point should also be acknowledged here, but i am going to step back from this because it's not what we are on this site for, helenhoo has become some sort of No more panic celeb figure i've never saw so many members viewing one thread.
Good luck and best wishes to all :winks: :flowers:
I don't think anyone has been 'vile' ? Maybe i have a very different definition of being vile to someone. :huh:
I think Gary's point should also be acknowledged here, but i am going to step back from this because it's not what we are on this site for, helenhoo has become some sort of No more panic celeb figure i've never saw so many members viewing one thread.
Good luck and best wishes to all :winks: :flowers:
Yip, "vile", "judgemental", a "mob", all pretty strong labels if you ask me. It's ok though, people had doubts about someone who's lied before so those labels are all good. :yesyes:
I'm stepping back as well, lest I be accused of being a big meanie.
MyNameIsTerry
17-08-16, 09:56
I think Gary's point should also be acknowledged here, but i am going to step back from this because it's not what we are on this site for, helenhoo has become some sort of No more panic celeb figure i've never saw so many members viewing one thread.
I've seen people just like this since I've been here, it's nothing new to me.
If you mean the point Gary raised that you replied to, of course that's valid but from my point of view I am also a sufferer and perhaps I become frustrated in reading what is going on in these threads? Did you think about that? It becomes a stalemate with this point - the simply answer being deal with the frustration of it or look at other threads, as Admin have to keep repeating.
If you take the sterner approach, it can come across badly because it's about perception and on one knows what the person is thinking when they say it. Likeminded people may understand it, others may not. That means you may have to deal with comments about your approach. That's just how things are.
Elen just raised a point about people feeling uncomfortable due to tone. That's not new either, someone once PM'd me saying exactly that but it went further in that she didn't feel she could raise threads because of it happening to her. A bit of reassurance as to why things had escalated and she got over that. That's unfortunately what can happen.
---------- Post added at 09:56 ---------- Previous post was at 09:54 ----------
If she's doing nothing wrong then why were admin locking her threads?
I thought Pip explained it was because Reb was not helping herself with how those threads were going so they were locked for her wellbeing, not because she broke any rule or because of the feelings of others?
I've seen people just like this since I've been here, it's nothing new to me.
If you mean the point Gary raised that you replied to, of course that's valid but from my point of view I am also a sufferer and perhaps I become frustrated in reading what is going on in these threads? Did you think about that? It becomes a stalemate with this point - the simply answer being deal with the frustration of it or look at other threads, as Admin have to keep repeating.
If you take the sterner approach, it can come across badly because it's about perception and on one knows what the person is thinking when they say it. Likeminded people may understand it, others may not. That means you may have to deal with comments about your approach. That's just how things are.
Elen just raised a point about people feeling uncomfortable due to tone. That's not new either, someone once PM'd me saying exactly that but it went further in that she didn't feel she could raise threads because of it happening to her. A bit of reassurance as to why things had escalated and she got over that. That's unfortunately what can happen.
Yeah that's the point i meant Terry i do think it's valid, and yeah i can also understand completely from your point of view, i just don't think labeling people on here who do give out good advice as being vile or a mob ect is the way to go, that could really upset people too.
Yeah the whole thing is complex because everyone here is dealing with their own problems too, thats why i think its best to bow out now before it gets out of hand. We all just want the best for each other surely :D
MyNameIsTerry
17-08-16, 10:01
Poppycock Pipkin.
Maybe people are fed up of their advice being ignored and zero acknowledgement while the poster posts the same things, day after day after day after day.... Look at the direction the thread had gone in now.. The poster is back to the cigarette smoke obsession.
All advice had fallen on deaf ears.
There are 'enablers' on these threads who think they are well meaning but it is, in fact, having the opposite effect and is feeding the poster's desire to continue posting about topics we have exhausted to death. I'd be very pleas for the OP if she finally stepped away from posting about symptoms every one of us experiences on a daily basis (smelling cigarette smoke, hearing people speak as they walk past) and finally received help for her OCD/health anxiety. She works full time, goes on holiday, has a boyfriend, gets drunk... I'd love to be able to do some of those things. I don't think she's an extreme case, but posting on here in not doing her any good imo...
Also very good point from Gary about the admins locking threads, then coming back on this thread with a completely altered view...
What altered view are you talking about? I thought Admin were in agreement on what Pip is saying? Elen, Emmz and Nic have made similar observations across multiple threads.
I don't think the "enabler" label is appropriate either. Whilst new people may come along and not realise, many of us on these threads have been following them. Encouraging the OP to seek medical support, to look for self help, to challenge their thoughts, etc is NOT enabling.
I've seen people just like this since I've been here, it's nothing new to me.
If you mean the point Gary raised that you replied to, of course that's valid but from my point of view I am also a sufferer and perhaps I become frustrated in reading what is going on in these threads? Did you think about that? It becomes a stalemate with this point - the simply answer being deal with the frustration of it or look at other threads, as Admin have to keep repeating.
If you take the sterner approach, it can come across badly because it's about perception and on one knows what the person is thinking when they say it. Likeminded people may understand it, others may not. That means you may have to deal with comments about your approach. That's just how things are.
Elen just raised a point about people feeling uncomfortable due to tone. That's not new either, someone once PM'd me saying exactly that but it went further in that she didn't feel she could raise threads because of it happening to her. A bit of reassurance as to why things had escalated and she got over that. That's unfortunately what can happen.
---------- Post added at 09:56 ---------- Previous post was at 09:54 ----------
I thought Pip explained it was because Reb was not helping herself with how those threads were going so they were locked for her wellbeing, not because she broke any rule or because of the feelings of others?
My point about responders having their own emotions was more to do with the fact that those very same responders have been pilloried in this thread by people who claim that criticising vulnerable people is wrong. That's a bit hypocritical in my view.
Yes, Pip did say that, but in that sense then Reb was doing wrong. In essence, that's what most people have said to her themselves. Granted, a line was crossed by accusations of lying, I can only speak for myself on that and I've posted an explanation and apology above.
Her threads are locked for 1. Keeping seeking reassurance over the same issues 2. Trying to get medical opinions and not actually seeking help for anxiety. That's why Elen or pipkin locked them.
And I'm fine with being called vile or whatever - but yeah Helen has went to the doctors but again she has not actually went to discuss her anxiety properly she just fired a load of physical symptoms and brain tumour stuff at her doc. If none of that was said he wouldn't have even said anything about a scan.
Yeah that's the point i meant Terry i do think it's valid, and yeah i can also understand completely from your point of view, i just don't think labeling people on here who do give out good advice as being vile or a mob ect is the way to go, that could really upset people too.
Yeah the whole thing is complex because everyone here is dealing with their own problems too, thats why i think its best to bow out now before it gets out of hand. We all just want the best for each other surely :D
Hi Katie, I was not saying that everyone was behaving in this way
"a small group of people"
"I am truly saddened that the actions of a few"
There have also been people posting good sensible advice.
Hi Katie, I was not saying that everyone was behaving in this way
"a small group of people"
"I am truly saddened that the actions of a few"
There have also been people posting good sensible advice.
Ok Elen i've had enough of this now anyway it's making my head hurt, it doesn't take much :roflmao:
Me too Katie
Well then go to a doctor dammit!!!:roflmao:
Well then go to a doctor dammit!!!:roflmao:
For help with an aneurysm? :D
Carrie8484
17-08-16, 10:11
I'm outta here too. It's become a circus and not an ounce of this will help the OP tackle her anxiety issues.
I would place a bet on a new thread being started on smells or similar.
For help with an aneurysm? :D
Dear God noooooooo! :doh:
MyNameIsTerry
17-08-16, 10:21
Yeah that's the point i meant Terry i do think it's valid, and yeah i can also understand completely from your point of view, i just don't think labeling people on here who do give out good advice as being vile or a mob ect is the way to go, that could really upset people too.
Yeah the whole thing is complex because everyone here is dealing with their own problems too, thats why i think its best to bow out now before it gets out of hand. We all just want the best for each other surely :D
The trouble is, this is how it always ends up with these repetitive posters. I can understand what you mean, I raised the same on the thread on the Admin board and for the same reasons because I expected it would ignite the situation, which it clearly has here. They will need to explain their use of terms here, but ganging up is nothing new on NMP from my own experience.
Like Gary said, there is a preconception about Reb's threads and with little detail it has allowed for jumping to conclusions. Flipp picked up on some of the questions, as did I, that seemed more about exposing gaps than filling them in. I think Reb needs to be clearer to prevent this too.
EDIT: Sorry, you're all too quick for me! I see Elen has answered what you were raising.
---------- Post added at 10:21 ---------- Previous post was at 10:17 ----------
Her threads are locked for 1. Keeping seeking reassurance over the same issues 2. Trying to get medical opinions and not actually seeking help for anxiety. That's why Elen or pipkin locked them.
I'm not sure why that even made it on to the reasons - the whole HA board is trying to get a medical opinion off members. It's an unenforceable rule.
EDIT: Sorry, you're all too quick for me! I see Elen has answered what you were raising.
Come on Terry you're slacking :winks:
MyNameIsTerry
17-08-16, 10:37
My point about responders having their own emotions was more to do with the fact that those very same responders have been pilloried in this thread by people who claim that criticising vulnerable people is wrong. That's a bit hypocritical in my view.
Yes, Pip did say that, but in that sense then Reb was doing wrong. In essence, that's what most people have said to her themselves. Granted, a line was crossed by accusations of lying, I can only speak for myself on that and I've posted an explanation and apology above.
Yes, on that basis it is hypocritical. But if you are prepared to give it, you may have to take it back. Perhaps in the case of the OP, they weren't "giving it" so is it hypocritical?
It's just a cross you have to bare when you offer the stern approach isn't it? It can be seen as aggressive, which can be because words can't express things to the same degree and can be perceived in more than one way a lot of the time.
That being said, some people on here have said they welcome that approach as they need it or know where they are with someone. It's not my thing but I can understand that.
---------- Post added at 10:37 ---------- Previous post was at 10:34 ----------
Come on Terry you're slacking :winks:
I'm feeling an old fart now after ServerError's grey hair thread! I'm technically a silver surfer so you will have to give me some time to put my glasses on (and my teeth in) :D
For clarity, here is one of my posts explaining why I closed the threads. It's not because Reb broke any forum rules, just that I feel this isn't helping her.
Pip
Reb,
I don't close your threads for any other reason other than I don't think asking for the same reassurance over again is helping you at all. No-one can tell you it's all fine because we have no idea. What we can say is that you clearly suffer from an anxiety disorder and your symptoms are consistent with that.
As I've said before, focus on strategies to improve your anxiety. There are so many things you can do and members here would love to share what works for them and to support you through it. What we can't do is give a medical diagnosis - that's not what the site's for and we're not qualified in any case.
Please think about this carefully. We are here to help you through what is obviously a distressing time for you but you must try to help yourself.
Pip
As the OP has clearly asked for help with her anxiety in this thread's title, can admin not help her by deleting any post from her which mentions physical symptoms? The explanation for this has been emphasised by Pipkin. It is very fair and has Helen's best interests at heart. Physical symptoms are "off topic" for this thread?
Yes, on that basis it is hypocritical. But if you are prepared to give it, you may have to take it back. Perhaps in the case of the OP, they weren't "giving it" so is it hypocritical?
It's just a cross you have to bare when you offer the stern approach isn't it? It can be seen as aggressive, which can be because words can't express things to the same degree and can be perceived in more than one way a lot of the time
I personally don't put myself in the same bracket as people who are "vulnerable", I can take any type of criticism. I will answer it if I disagree, but I'm not in tears over it or anything.
All I'm saying is that a few who were responding to the OP are clearly suffering in their own way, yet they have to endure being called "vile", "judgemental" and "in a mob." That's all well and good, but the people who are throwing these labels out there are, often in the very same post, claiming that this type of thing goes against what NMP stands for. So which is it? You can't have it both ways, and surely you're not going to tell me that two wrongs make a right?
What I will say is that clearly the people who are throwing out these labels have lost patience. Again, I get that and totally understand it. It shows that people can and do lose patience when they're not being listened to. I'm sure, given that, that they can then in turn understand frustration, accusations and downright anger toward the OP. If they can't, then they need to ask themselves why the hell they're doing it toward "vulnerable" people themselves. You can't put yourself on a pedestal while being just as accusatory and judgemental as you claim to hate.
I think the overriding feeling here is not that anyone intentionally wants to 'gang up' on the OP, but more so they have reached a point of total saturation and frustration.
Frustration on two levels: firstly, their advice is to the most part falling on deaf ears, and being responded to by another point of anxiety -smells, etc, and secondly, frustration that the same issues are being posted about pretty frequently on numerous threads.
Just from a practical point of view, given the sheer number of threads these days on NMP, I must say that I find that particular thing REALLY annoying, to be brutally honest. If someone already has a thread up there about a particular thing, there is really no need to start another. Just find it in the 'your threads/posts' section of your profile page!!
Call me naive, but I really don't think that anyone is trying to be mean or vile. It is just pure frustration going on.
Another real pertinent point is that not only must we think about the OP best interests, and trying to contain any frustration if possible (best way is really to AVOID the threads, sad to say) but let's stop for a minute and consider the effects on members who RESPOND HERE.
We ALL suffer from mental health stuff. Members who respond really are not obliged to, may have their own anxieties and struggle going on, but take time out to at least TRY to respond usefully and help the OP. The other point is that the numerous threads by one member may be upsetting and anxiety inducing to other members. I know that my own anxieties do heighten when I see constant 'help me' posts from the same members, but perhaps that is my issue.
Bottom line is I think everyone wants to help here without malice, but it has all reached a boiling point....my impression anyway. :shrug:
MyNameIsTerry
17-08-16, 12:01
I personally don't put myself in the same bracket as people who are "vulnerable", I can take any type of criticism. I will answer it if I disagree, but I'm not in tears over it or anything.
All I'm saying is that a few who were responding to the OP are clearly suffering in their own way, yet they have to endure being called "vile", "judgemental" and "in a mob." That's all well and good, but the people who are throwing these labels out there are, often in the very same post, claiming that this type of thing goes against what NMP stands for. So which is it? You can't have it both ways, and surely you're not going to tell me that two wrongs make a right?
What I will say is that clearly the people who are throwing out these labels have lost patience. Again, I get that and totally understand it. It shows that people can and do lose patience when they're not being listened to. I'm sure, given that, that they can then in turn understand frustration, accusations and downright anger toward the OP. If they can't, then they need to ask themselves why the hell they're doing it toward "vulnerable" people themselves. You can't put yourself on a pedestal while being just as accusatory and judgemental as you claim to hate.
The issue of "ganging up" is perhaps explained more on the thread on the Admin board? Bullying was mentioned on that thread.
The judgemental element is likely to be coming from the issue you raised earlier about having a perception. I often feel at times that a line of questioning may have a different purpose e.g. to catch out. That can be useful in picking holes in people's skewed logic but I feel like recently on this thread it's been about finding a gap in truth, but that's not about your posts Gary.
Vile, fair enough, that's obviously how Elen feels and she will have to comment there. Vile is often overused by people, I don't know her reasons so can't comment but obviously understand your point and such a comment is going to upset some.
Like you said, you want to help or wouldn't be spending your time on this. And you realise frustration got the better of you and apologised, you certainly wouldn't waste time apologising if you didn't care enough about people on here. Everyone else though has to fight their own battle in arguing this one with Admin.
ive responded to a few of these treads (helpfully I hope). but im lucky if I get 1 reply to anything I post (emetophobia and tapping for panic yesterdaybfor example). I serm to remember someone else saying something similar.
maybe since the op is getting so much attention 10+ pages of replies is fuelling the fire so to speak.
I hope that doesn't sound mean. its not intended to.
ive responded to a few of these treads (helpfully I hope). but im lucky if I get 1 reply to anything I post (emetophobia and tapping for panic yesterdaybfor example). I serm to remember someone else saying something similar.
maybe since the op is getting so much attention 10+ pages of replies is fuelling the fire so to speak.
I hope that doesn't sound mean. its not intended to.
I think that's something we can all agree on, even the OP.
She went to the doctor, which is step one, now we will just have to see how that progresses. I would certainly advise on ignoring questions about the physical symptoms, as its actualy putting focus on them and giving the symptoms credit.
I will try to do this from now on.
Why does anxiety create new symptoms when you decide to fight against it? I wasn't hungry today and immediately I thought 'doc mentioned lack of appetite and tumours butt did add that they do coincide with anxiety more often'
Helen/Reb (?),
I must be totally out of the loop because I didn't know you were the same member! I recall posting on some of your threads quite awhile ago regarding your fear of freckles/moles. I have to ask: do you still have those fears?
I think what is really difficult (for me too) is that we post threads on here looking for that "perfect" answer that will make us feel better. We don't know what it is and consequently never receive it, but we think that we'll be able to get these fears off our chest and someone will come along and help us.
To answer your more recent question: anxiety is NASTY. It plays dirty for sure. You are in "brain tumor" mode so now everything that happens to you will equate with a brain tumor as far as you are concerned.
The big thing, according to my therapists, with anxiety is that those of us who suffer are always looking for an answer to a question. Everything must have an explanation. We can never just have a headache, it must be a tumor. We can never just have a stomachache, it must mean that we have colon cancer. And on and on.
But you CAN just have a headache. You CAN just not be hungry at a certain point in time. It's not sinister - it's totally normal. So you're not hungry now, give it a few hours and you'll feel hungry again. (also, not being hungry/having no appetite is totally a major symptom of anxiety).
What most concerns me, Reb, is that you were going to get help quite awhile ago - why haven't you? I don't mean to berate you and I acknowledge that it can be really, really hard but at what point will you realize you need to try something to get your life back? For me, it was when my anxiety was so bad that I was feeling totally hopeless and wasn't able to get out of bed. Perhaps you just haven't hit your "rock bottom" yet but I encourage you to get help BEFORE then.
brucealmighty
17-08-16, 17:11
this isn`t to trigger anyone but a big thing that helped me recover was to understand in very very black and white terms that life is finite and at some point we will all die.
the good news from that bleak start is that we can choose in every moment how we spend our day. we all get 24 hours, at the start of each day we can willingly head to dr google or read of doom and gloom, or we can try to fill our time with good experiences.
I know before anyone jumps in that sometimes our will is not our own, I`ve been there trust me. but habits can be broken and worked on one step at a time.
look up, engage with nature, read, exercise, cook, colour, write, breathe steadily, avoid damaging habits where possible
this isn`t to trigger anyone but a big thing that helped me recover was to understand in very very black and white terms that life is finite and at some point we will all die.
the good news from that bleak start is that we can choose in every moment how we spend our day. we all get 24 hours, at the start of each day we can willingly head to dr google or read of doom and gloom, or we can try to fill our time with good experiences.
I know before anyone jumps in that sometimes our will is not our own, I`ve been there trust me. but habits can be broken and worked on one step at a time.
look up, engage with nature, read, exercise, cook, colour, write, breathe steadily, avoid damaging habits where possible
Excellent post and advice. I said so much on GirlAfraid's post. To add to this... While I understand that sometimes you don't choose to feel the way you do, that despite your best efforts, the actual illness you're suffering from (anxiety) does make you feel anxious or depressed or scared, you still have a choice in how you react to it.
Positive thoughts
And having the choice makes us fortunate
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