Hocd or teenage phase???

[Random123445]

Hi I am 14 an female and for like 3 month I being having thoughts about what if I'm gay.. I don't like women and I never did. My friends always tell me that I'm obsessed with boys. I always saw myself with men my whole life. One late night on Instagram I saw a video of two girls kissing. I didn't like that video and quickly went out of the app. The next morning I had thoughts about do I like girls and stuff. I threw up and I got quickly scared thinking I'm going to turn gay. These thoughts are really killing me and I been praying to god it doesn't change me. I still like boys and everything but I am still scared of liking girls. I can't go on my phone or in the car without seeing a girl and getting nasty thoughts or asking myself my self do I like her. I feel like if I turn gay my life is done. I never really supported gay people. I'm pretty sure I know I'm straight but I'm scared I might be bisexual. I have no interest in liking girls. I told my mom about these thoughts and she says it's a teenage phase. I hope it is but I just want to go back to my regular life and like boys again. But I feel like with these thoughts I can't be happy or like boys again. I feel like these thoughts may make me like girls and be happy with that (which I don't want) or make me like a girl one. I'm scared that might actually happen. I just want to hear I'm not gay and go on with my life. Is this hocd Orr no. Btw whenever I question myself it tells me I like boys and don't want to do sexual stuff with girls. I don't want these thoughts to control my life. I just wanna like boys again. Also will these thoughts go away or how to get rid of them. PLEASE HELPP!!!! It makes me think about kissing my friends which I don't like. Please help me!! I also go to church each week for extra prayer to make it go away. I'm just scared like i might actually like girls because I keep picturing me with them which I don't like !

[skymaid]

this is just a harmless and extremely common thought that will pass harmlessly in time. pretty much everyone (statistically) wonders if theyre gay/bi at some point in their lives.

if the thought keeps coming back just answer it with a so what? its just a thought. it has no power over you unless you let it.

[Darwin73]

And even if you are gay or bisexual, it really doesn't matter. You can still lead a happy and fulfilled life. As skymaidstone says, answer the thought with a "so what?".

[bluebirds141516]

Well, I've been suffering with, what I hope to be, HOCD since I was 13 . I don't think it's a random phase. I can't diagnose you because I'm not a doctor. HOCD lies though and you can't turn gay. If you've been straight your whole life, then it's most likely still the case. I know it's hard to know what you can believe and what you can't. Hang in there.

[Scaredlady]

As I've just wrote on a very similar post to your own, it's my view that a person's sexual orientation is determined by nature, ie- in the womb. I don't think anyone has a choice over it, just as we don't get a choice about what colour our eyes will be.

However I think a lot of people in their teenage years probably wonder, worry and even experiment - There's nothing bad or wrong with that.

It's OK to like people of the same gender as much as it is to like someone of the opposite gender.

In your case you're a girl and you have said you like boys - You should leave it there then because what you're worrying about and getting worked up over is a non issue really as you already have a preference. No one can "turn gay" by a thought or by watching a video.