Anxiety caused by work colleagues

[wheretobegin]

Hi all,

I'm new to the forum, so apologies if I'm posting this in the wrong section. I'm posting here in the hope that someone else may have experienced a similar situation and be able to offer some advice?

Basically I'm considering leaving my job because every day is a struggle, not because of the actual work, but because there are certain colleagues who's presence cause me to feel extremely anxious and annoyed. I have mild social anxiety so don't talk much at work, and prefer to concentrate and get my head down whilst there rather than sit and chat all day.

Unfortunately, two colleagues in particular seem to spend the majority of their day talking/laughing at full volume. This causes me to feel really anxious to the point where I have actually moved seats to get away from the situation. However, this hasn't helped as I can still hear them, and I can't stop "focussing in" in their conversations in my mind despite as much as I would like to just block them out altogether.


No-one else at work seems to be affected at all by them and can happily sit their getting along with their work, which has convinced me that the reason I am affected must be a symptom of my anxiety. I have always put off by loud overconfident personalities as I'm fairly introverted.


It's reached the stage now where even the sight of one of the colleagues makes me feel anxious, and I have started visibily reacting when they are shouting/laughing at full volume, sighing realy loudly, muttering "shut up" or just walking off in anger which is drawing the attention of my other colleagues.


Maybe I'm just an irritable person and this has nothing to do with my social anxiety. But either way I know I literally can't carry on as it is. Every day is a struggle and it's affecting my life outside of work as I come home every day in a terrible mood. I'm worried that if it carries on I'll start to become depressed. The problem is, I'm worried that if I leave this job, I'll end up in another in exactly the same situation.


Has anyone ever experienced anything similar at work? I'd really appreciate any advice possible as I'm at my wits ends and don't know what to do. Hopefully posting here will at least get it off my chest for a bit!

Thanks for reading :)

[sunset_5]

Hi!

Welcome to the forum.

Yes, I feel the same way at work. We are in an open space and there are currently 5 of us. But as it is an open space we can basically hear everything in the whole corridor - and there is 30 people on our floor. I am struggling with concentration as well when it's not so quiet. I have mild social anxiety too and on some days I'm fine but then on others I get extremely irritated and just feel like getting out of there just to get some peace and quiet - although not to the extent of wanting to quit (if I think about that it is for different reasons).

But I do understand you. However, like you said yourself, it would probably be exactly the same at a different job. There are all kinds of different people everywhere, and there are more introverted people and more extroverted people wherever you go. Unfortunately we can't choose the people we work with :( the only way you could would be if you set up your own business. Then you could even work by yourself. But I know that it is a big step and apart from that I don't really have any advice either. I don't know what job it is and if you would be allowed to listen to music / use headphones so you don't hear them?

Good luck :)

[HalfJack]

Hello!
Hope you're feeling better.

Maybe it's making you irritable because it's affecting your anxiety. Why does it make you stressed do you think?

If you have a manager or line/manager you could talk to them about it if it's really affecting you. Even if they're not doing anything wrong as such, asking a manager to talk to them about the noise levels is perfectly reasonable. It's a communal space, so what you need is just as important as what they need.

[wheretobegin]

Thanks both for your responses!

Sunset - Sorry to hear you are in a similar situation. I have considered moving to a job where I work alone/work from home but it is a big step like you said, and I'm not sure if it's the right answer, as I do want a bit of interaction in my work life. I can also wear headphones which I do sometimes but I'm worries it makes me look unapproachable and unsociable to the others in the office.

HalfJack - it's a combination of several things that makes me stressed, mainly annoyance that people who are my peers are able to sit around chatting all day and get away with it whilst I have a heavy workload, and the distraction when I am trying to concentrate. Being a more introverted type I've always felt a bit intimidated/irritated by those who can talk for hours on end and I think that's part of it as well..

I'm a bit concerned about bringing it up with my manager as I'm not sure there's anything that she could do, she can't change who they are, and knowing the individuals they wouldn't take well to me telling my line manager that they are making too much noise and would probably make the work situation awkward and even worse.

I'm wondering whether some anxiety medication or coping techniques could help to stop me feeling so stressed? I'm considering going to the doctors (not just for this but for anxiety/social anxiety in general), so perhaps if I mention this situation they could help in some way?

Thanks again.

[sunset_5]

Yes you are right of course. Completely excluding yourself from any interaction probably isn't the best answer. Then eventually it will make it even harder to interact with people.

But no, I agree probably telling your manager would make things awkward between you and your colleagues. I'd suggest you talk to them first, ask them in a friendly way if they could be a little more quiet, but I'm not sure how they would react to that. People can be mean, I know that...

So yes, maybe talk to a doctor about some medication or maybe try meditation? There are many on social anxiety on youtube - like guided meditations and stuff. Personally they help me to calm down a lot. Maybe you could give it a try?

[georgewing]

Well i think you must try to find a way to adopt to the situation ,even if you change your job you can meet another enoying people .Or you can please them to laugh little because they are disturbing but i dont know how effetctive this tehnique will be