View Full Version : Worried About money
So today my partner and I have separated. It has been a long time coming but I'm still devastated.
When ringing tax credits to change our circumstances they have ceased my claim and I've got to reapply. I'm shocked as my circumstances have changed many times in the 9 years I've been claiming and I've never had to reclaim.
The claim form can take upto 2 weeks to get to me then I was told that actual claim can take a further 3. I could potentially have no tax credits for 5 weeks. My only other source of income is £20.70 child benefit.
I will be applying for ESA as I'm unable to work, but that in itself can take upto 5 weeks I believe. I have no idea what to do, I owe a relative money that I can't afford to pay back so there's no way I could borrow more. I owe the social over £800 so I don't want to get a crisis loan or anything. I feel so sick. My partner (or ex partner) is still paying our monthly bills this week, so I only need to pay for food, toiletries etc but it's the Summer holidays and I can't just spend everyday locked up indoors. I have social anxiety and 'going for a walk' is nigh on impossible. I can't even sit in my own garden as we only have a very short fence and when neighbours are out i feel like I could puke.
I'm devastated and really scared for the next few weeks.o have nothing to sell, I don't really own anything. I've been suffering with quite severe depression this past year and I feel like this will be the final straw.
I'm also concerned that I won't qualify for ESA long term. I've read you've got to be pretty much housebound to get it due to depression, I'm not housebound. So I'm scared that once I get called for the ATOS medical - and fail it, I'll have to live off £83 a week again, but this time it will also include gas, electric etc.
So today my partner and I have separated. It has been a long time coming but I'm still devastated.
When ringing tax credits to change our circumstances they have ceased my claim and I've got to reapply. I'm shocked as my circumstances have changed many times in the 9 years I've been claiming and I've never had to reclaim.
The claim form can take upto 2 weeks to get to me then I was told that actual claim can take a further 3. I could potentially have no tax credits for 5 weeks. My only other source of income is £20.70 child benefit.
I will be applying for ESA as I'm unable to work, but that in itself can take upto 5 weeks I believe. I have no idea what to do, I owe a relative money that I can't afford to pay back so there's no way I could borrow more. I owe the social over £800 so I don't want to get a crisis loan or anything. I feel so sick. My partner (or ex partner) is still paying our monthly bills this week, so I only need to pay for food, toiletries etc but it's the Summer holidays and I can't just spend everyday locked up indoors. I have social anxiety and 'going for a walk' is nigh on impossible. I can't even sit in my own garden as we only have a very short fence and when neighbours are out i feel like I could puke.
I'm devastated and really scared for the next few weeks.o have nothing to sell, I don't really own anything. I've been suffering with quite severe depression this past year and I feel like this will be the final straw.
I'm also concerned that I won't qualify for ESA long term. I've read you've got to be pretty much housebound to get it due to depression, I'm not housebound. So I'm scared that once I get called for the ATOS medical - and fail it, I'll have to live off £83 a week again, but this time it will also include gas, electric etc.
Hi KeeKee,
Is there no way to get an advance in payment? If you explain your situation. I know they can do that with universal credit payments.
Also will your partner be paying child support? X
Contact your local mental health team or ask for a referral from your GP.
Most mental health teams have a Welfare rights officer working with them.
If not Citizens advice do.
You will be entitled to housing benefit, council tax rebate, and assessment rate ESA 73.10 per week
Contact DWP by phone and explain your situation and ask them if there is any financial help you can have meantime.
When you get your ESA assessment. Any report by a 'medical professional' is regarded as 'evidence' of your illness/inability to work, rather than just you telling them. Get your illness documented.
Hi KeeKee,
Is there no way to get an advance in payment? If you explain your situation. I know they can do that with universal credit payments.
Also will your partner be paying child support? X
Hi again KatiePink thanks for responding. I'm not sure about that. I did mention on the phone that I will be living on only £20 a week until my claim was sorted and he told me to just ring citizens advice. I've been in touch with citizens advice recently though due to a debt I have and they told me my household is getting less than the threshold and I should contact hmrc for advice, but when I said that to the man yesterday he just said to apply for tax credits online, he was very abrupt.
My partner and I have come to an agreement and he will be buying the cat food for me. It costs in excess of £50 a month so I think that's fair enough. He only works part time too.
---------- Post added at 17:52 ---------- Previous post was at 17:33 ----------
Contact your local mental health team or ask for a referral from your GP.
Most mental health teams have a Welfare rights officer working with them.
If not Citizens advice do.
You will be entitled to housing benefit, council tax rebate, and assessment rate ESA 73.10 per week
Contact DWP by phone and explain your situation and ask them if there is any financial help you can have meantime.
When you get your ESA assessment. Any report by a 'medical professional' is regarded as 'evidence' of your illness/inability to work, rather than just you telling them. Get your illness documented.
Thank you for responding. Is dwp the same as hmrc? If so I rang yesterday and he just get saying "Apply online". He kept interrupting me all the time when I was speaking too so I couldn't get a word in.
I already do get full housing benefit and council tax rebate as my partner was only part time anyway. I know I am definitely entitled to child tax credits too it's just waiting for them to come through. I'm so upset I've had to cancel and reclaim, if I had known I would have stocked up on cheap food etc this week and next and then called them as you have 4 weeks to notify them of a change.
I can't even get to the doctors yet as they're fully booked.
Thank you both for taking the time to reply to me. If worst comes to worst I do have relatives I can borrow from, I just despise owing money out.
I know I'll manage somehow but it's so depressing. I won't be able to go anywhere and sitting about the house absolutely grates on me and my neck hurts as our settee is really old and horrible. I'm so angry I'm not able to work. I just see a future of money constantly being tight. I have hardly any clothes or anything. Once I'm all sorted I'll manage as I have done so for a while now on low income, but when I was working I could buy nice clothes, household items, i could buy food that wasn't on special offer etc.
I absolutely detest that I feel the way I do, I've been called 'lazy' for not working, I'd absolutely love to be able to get a job and lead a normal life.
Sorry for my rant. Had a crappy night last night
Only just saw this KeeKee, hope you've managed to get something sorted. I can relate to you 100% having money problems is terrible and can cause problems In itself, you've got to have lived it to know how bad it makes you feel and how its so very hard to get out of. I really understand :hugs:
I know it's very cliche and easier said than done but do atleast try and think of the positives you have even if it seems there are none at times there will be. Think of the things you do have like shelter and a bed people that love you ect
Never be ashamed to ask for help either or to admit you're struggling, there is help out there but it's not easy to come by. You're not lazy. :hugs:
DWP is not the same as hmrc
Don't beat yourself up about not working at the moment. Hopefully you will be able to work again in the future. One day at a time. 4-6 weeks will seem like an eternity without proper funding, but you've already said, you have family you can borrow from meantime. Also do you have access to any food charity stores?
I do appreciate on top of it all you will be dealing with the emotional split from your partner too. Time will help.
Thank you both for responding. I've actually managed to get an earlier appointment with my GP (well it's not the one I usually go to so feel a bit sick but better than waiting weeks) so I'll get a sick note on Tuesday and I was told by ESA if I'm eligible, it should hopefully be sorted by 6th September.
KatiePink I know what you mean about shelter and bedding etc and I do realise even though we struggle, we are still much better off than many others. I know I have people who love me etc but I don't feel loved if that makes sense. I feel like I can't point out any positives in my life this is where I struggled with therapy to the point he made me write stuff down that I didn't see as positives so it felt like I was faking it if that makes sense. Obviously I have my family, food, shelter and 3 cats whom I adore, but I have one thing that I've never told anybody and it can overtake even the most positive things in the world. Until that goes away I'll always feel this negative hold on me. It makes every single day difficult. Then there is my low self esteem which makes things worse. I hate the way I look and even though there are people out there who are disfigured and the likes who would probably love to look like me i still feel like crap. My looks have changed so much due to stress or depression and leaving the house makes me feel ill.
Ah I see I'm not sure how I'd contact DWP then. I did call my local authority and was advised they could offer food vouchers but only if ESA refuse to give me an advanced payment of ESA and I'd need to write down who refused to and why. I didn't feel upto this on Friday so may do it tomorrow. £20 will probably do food though to he honest, pasta is cheap as anything, I'll get tinned beans and have beans on toast, i already have lots if teabags and sweeteners I'll make sure I have milk and bread, we don't eat cereal anyway so 4 pints should do a full week. It just means not eating my regular stuff for a few weeks and I'm sure I'll despise pasta by then haha. Also I'll be stuck in the house with my daughter during school holidays which is depressing as anything. She goes back in 2.5 weeks and I literally haven't taken her anywhere yet. Not even out for a meal. She's already told me her friends keep asking why she never goes on holiday etc, imagine when she goes back and tells people she has literally been nowhere. I can't even sit in the garden as I feel too uncomfortable when neighbours are also out.
Sorry for ranting yet again. Feel like all I do is think negatively but given how much my life and body has changed these last few years I just feel like absolute hell.
Thank you both for responding. I've actually managed to get an earlier appointment with my GP (well it's not the one I usually go to so feel a bit sick but better than waiting weeks) so I'll get a sick note on Tuesday and I was told by ESA if I'm eligible, it should hopefully be sorted by 6th September.
KatiePink I know what you mean about shelter and bedding etc and I do realise even though we struggle, we are still much better off than many others. I know I have people who love me etc but I don't feel loved if that makes sense. I feel like I can't point out any positives in my life this is where I struggled with therapy to the point he made me write stuff down that I didn't see as positives so it felt like I was faking it if that makes sense. Obviously I have my family, food, shelter and 3 cats whom I adore, but I have one thing that I've never told anybody and it can overtake even the most positive things in the world. Until that goes away I'll always feel this negative hold on me. It makes every single day difficult. Then there is my low self esteem which makes things worse. I hate the way I look and even though there are people out there who are disfigured and the likes who would probably love to look like me i still feel like crap. My looks have changed so much due to stress or depression and leaving the house makes me feel ill.
Ah I see I'm not sure how I'd contact DWP then. I did call my local authority and was advised they could offer food vouchers but only if ESA refuse to give me an advanced payment of ESA and I'd need to write down who refused to and why. I didn't feel upto this on Friday so may do it tomorrow. £20 will probably do food though to he honest, pasta is cheap as anything, I'll get tinned beans and have beans on toast, i already have lots if teabags and sweeteners I'll make sure I have milk and bread, we don't eat cereal anyway so 4 pints should do a full week. It just means not eating my regular stuff for a few weeks and I'm sure I'll despise pasta by then haha. Also I'll be stuck in the house with my daughter during school holidays which is depressing as anything. She goes back in 2.5 weeks and I literally haven't taken her anywhere yet. Not even out for a meal. She's already told me her friends keep asking why she never goes on holiday etc, imagine when she goes back and tells people she has literally been nowhere. I can't even sit in the garden as I feel too uncomfortable when neighbours are also out.
Sorry for ranting yet again. Feel like all I do is think negatively but given how much my life and body has changed these last few years I just feel like absolute hell.
I understand how its hard to find any positives I've definitely been there. I also went through nearly 6 months of not leaving the house more than the odd doctors appointment and it's terrible I can't sit in my garden either, how old is your daughter KeeKee?
She's 9. Aw I'm sorry to hear that. Life can be so hard at times and I think when it's mental health it's harder to get empathy from others as they think you are your own problem and sometimes that just isn't the case.
She's 9. Aw I'm sorry to hear that. Life can be so hard at times and I think when it's mental health it's harder to get empathy from others as they think you are your own problem and sometimes that just isn't the case.
Yeah totally get that. It's hard but not caring or focusing in what others think is something I'm working towards!
Does your daughter have friends close by she plays with?
Children just don't understand life so them asking about holidays ect is something that will probably happen and it's obviously not nice for you as you feel guilty but try you're hardest not to focus on that, can I ask how is your daughter with your split from your partner?
My daughter seems indifferent. Her Dad has went to his parents many times before so to her it's just a normal part of how her childhood has always been. He is still acting 'normal' towards me too so I imagine we are just on a break as opposed to splitting permanently. He actually seems in a better mood too so that automatically puts me in a better mood.
No she doesn't have any friends outside of school. Her classmates don't live close by.
---------- Post added at 10:15 ---------- Previous post was at 10:13 ----------
It's hard but not caring or focusing in what others think is something I'm working towards
I also entirely agree with this. Constantly worrying what others think is making my life hell. Moreso in regards to my family as I know that I can't possibly guess what strangers say, but I know what kind of things my family say as I've been told and also witnessed things said about others. They are very judgemental.
I wish I didn't care what others thought. I constantly worry all the time. I babysit when I don't want to etc as I'm scared of what might happen if I keep saying no
I'm the same KeeKee and my partners the complete opposite, I do wish I didn't care as much as i do as I've spent so much time worrying what others think of everything, my job my partner the way I live my life choices I make ect, I love my family but it's my life and that's what I need to focus on.
No she doesn't have any friends outside of school. Her classmates don't live close by.
That's a shame really, are there any children she could befriend where you live?
I completely agree KatiePink. It seems that amongst all the judging and criticism I'm the only one who really cares what others think. Even when others get criticised as it obviously isn't just me, they really don't care. Why can't I be like that!!
There are only young boys around here and they play on the roads and swear etc. I don't want my daughter around children like that, my daughter has already told me these boys are the naughty ones at school and one is apparently a bully. The girls around here are only about 4 or 5 and way too young for my daughter to play with. I hate where I live and wish I could move to be honest. When I first moved here almost 9 years ago the street was actually renowned for it's roughness. Wish I'd known before I moved in haha.
Hi KeeKee.
I was bullied at school,that is why I left early,now I am not afraid of them.
And speaking of Money,I don't have any to worry about.:D..
Hi KeeKee.
I was bullied at school,that is why I left early,now I am not afraid of them.
And speaking of Money,I don't have any to worry about.:D..
Sorry to hear that flipp. I really don't like bullies even if they're children once a child surpasses 4 or 5, they know fine well what is or isn't acceptable. It must have been hell if it caused you to leave school early.
I went to the doctors to get my sick note today. It wasn't my usual doctor. He refused and gave me a note saying I may be fit for work.
I am not happy about this whatsoever, i know I am not able to work right now. No matter whether it's 'phased in' or 'amended hours'. I've also been told I'm not diagnosed with clinical depression when I said how depressed I've felt this past year. So he wouldn't even put depression on my form. I know how i feel and how I've felt for this past year or so. I feel severely depressed. Just because I'm not suicidal, it does not mean I feel less depressed than those who are.
I feel physically sick. I have £20 to last me 7 days, then in 7 days I'll have another £20 to last me another 7 days. The only help available is food vouchers. But it's not food i need. I need toilerries, i need new shoes I've got a pair of trainers and they're killing my foot. I need to be able to leave the house its not fair I can't even go into town as I have no money! I'm devastated and terrified now. If I can only claim JSA I will be sanctioned time after time as I won't even be able to attend the fortnightly appointments. I can't go to interviews, i won't be able to get a job. I really don't know what to do.
Up until about September last year I saw a workplace advisor through IAPT. They even told me I need to sort my issues out before I get a job and with her help I was then referred for further help which is how I am now doing CAT therapy.
I went to the doctors to get my sick note today. It wasn't my usual doctor. He refused and gave me a note saying I may be fit for work.
I am not happy about this whatsoever, i know I am not able to work right now. No matter whether it's 'phased in' or 'amended hours'. I've also been told I'm not diagnosed with clinical depression when I said how depressed I've felt this past year. So he wouldn't even put depression on my form. I know how i feel and how I've felt for this past year or so. I feel severely depressed. Just because I'm not suicidal, it does not mean I feel less depressed than those who are.
I feel physically sick. I have £20 to last me 7 days, then in 7 days I'll have another £20 to last me another 7 days. The only help available is food vouchers. But it's not food i need. I need toilerries, i need new shoes I've got a pair of trainers and they're killing my foot. I need to be able to leave the house its not fair I can't even go into town as I have no money! I'm devastated and terrified now. If I can only claim JSA I will be sanctioned time after time as I won't even be able to attend the fortnightly appointments. I can't go to interviews, i won't be able to get a job. I really don't know what to do.
Up until about September last year I saw a workplace advisor through IAPT. They even told me I need to sort my issues out before I get a job and with her help I was then referred for further help which is how I am now doing CAT therapy.
KeeKee :weep: I'm so sorry it seems like one thing after another for you lately.
What is it you've put a claim in for? As I know you can get emergency advance payments with universal credit/JSA but I'm not sure of Esa ect. They're has to be something for you, did you say you'd been to citizens advice?
You have a child so they're has to be some help for you until you get payments, £20 is not enough and nobody should be left to struggle like that.
Is it possible to ask to see another doctor?
:hugs:
Hi KatiePink, thank you for responding yet again :-)
It's ESA I've applied for.
I was told by my local council that I could ask ESA for an advanced payment of benefit or something and if they refuse I could apply for a food voucher, but to be honest I wouldn't even be able to go to a shop and pay with a voucher (I only go where there is self serve as i don't like socialising with anybody) plus my family wouldn't let me starve, food wise I'll survive if it's only for a few weeks as I have basics like pasta, rice, beans, I have a cupboard full of tins. It's things like bus fares, toiletries, i know bus fares aren't a necessity, but I can't walk places due to my anxiety and I don't really want to be stuck in the house for weeks, although I guess I may have no choice.
I did phone ESA today to enquire about the type of medical note I'd received and they said send it anyway as it may not affect my claim, and if it does she said I should go to my regular doctor and ask if he can backdate it to today.
A few other people have suggested I go back and speak to somebody else so i might just do that. This doctor was very young, I'd guess my age (27) and said he had to follow that procedure. So I guess his hands were tied.
I still feel awful though, I originally went on antidepressants years ago for depression, so to be told I've never been diagnosed with clinical depression even though I took antidepressants for 6 years under the assumption I had depression and feel the lowest I've ever felt right now was a shock to be honest. Anxiety is pretty new in my list of struggles (3 years, 5 months) and yet it would seem my primary issue is being completely ignored because of it. I might go back to the doctors and ask for an official diagnosis.
Thank you so much for always taking the time to reply to me.
Hi KatiePink, thank you for responding yet again :-)
It's ESA I've applied for.
I was told by my local council that I could ask ESA for an advanced payment of benefit or something and if they refuse I could apply for a food voucher, but to be honest I wouldn't even be able to go to a shop and pay with a voucher (I only go where there is self serve as i don't like socialising with anybody) plus my family wouldn't let me starve, food wise I'll survive if it's only for a few weeks as I have basics like pasta, rice, beans, I have a cupboard full of tins. It's things like bus fares, toiletries, i know bus fares aren't a necessity, but I can't walk places due to my anxiety and I don't really want to be stuck in the house for weeks, although I guess I may have no choice.
I did phone ESA today to enquire about the type of medical note I'd received and they said send it anyway as it may not affect my claim, and if it does she said I should go to my regular doctor and ask if he can backdate it to today.
A few other people have suggested I go back and speak to somebody else so i might just do that. This doctor was very young, I'd guess my age (27) and said he had to follow that procedure. So I guess his hands were tied.
I still feel awful though, I originally went on antidepressants years ago for depression, so to be told I've never been diagnosed with clinical depression even though I took antidepressants for 6 years under the assumption I had depression and feel the lowest I've ever felt right now was a shock to be honest. Anxiety is pretty new in my list of struggles (3 years, 5 months) and yet it would seem my primary issue is being completely ignored because of it. I might go back to the doctors and ask for an official diagnosis.
Thank you so much for always taking the time to reply to me.
Yes KeeKee i would definitely go back, and ask for an official diagnosis. Just the stress of it you don't need either.
I'm glad to hear you will be okay for food ect but I know how upsetting it can be when you feel complete stuck, these situations can make even the most positive people feel very low. It's absolutely dreadful having money worries on top of dealing with everything else. I really hope things get sorted for you and you can go from there one step at a time :hugs:
Keep us updated if you get back in with docs xX
Yes KeeKee i would definitely go back, and ask for an official diagnosis. Just the stress of it you don't need either.
I'm glad to hear you will be okay for food ect but I know how upsetting it can be when you feel complete stuck, these situations can make even the most positive people feel very low. It's absolutely dreadful having money worries on top of dealing with everything else. I really hope things get sorted for you and you can go from there one step at a time :hugs:
Keep us updated if you get back in with docs xX
I will do ;-)
Really appreciate your responses KatiePink on all of my threads.
My ESA has been approved for now.
That's good KeeKee did you get back to the doctors about the sick note? X
Hi again KatiePink
I didn't bother going as it's a 2 week wait anyway and with it being approved I'm just going to go to my regular gp when this one expires and discuss it with him.
Hi again KatiePink
I didn't bother going as it's a 2 week wait anyway and with it being approved I'm just going to go to my regular gp when this one expires and discuss it with him.
Yeah that sounds best, least it's been approved that's one less stress for now and hopefully your regular GP can give you a diagnosis so this doesn't happen again x
Yeah that sounds best, least it's been approved that's one less stress for now and hopefully your regular GP can give you a diagnosis so this doesn't happen again x
Definitely I get my first payment tomorrow supposedly (they said so on the phone although I've received no letters but I'll find out soon enough).
Thank you for listening to me moaning so much :winks:
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