View Full Version : I wish and hope for the worst for some people
Not sure where to drop this, but there are certain people who were just terrible to me. Manipulative, took advantage of my kindness and friendship, used my insecurities against me, or just enjoyed putting me down for no reason. Most of these people are out of my life now but whenever I come across them, they just seem to have everything going for them. Seeing ugly (inside) people happy aggravates me. I just don't understand why f***ed up people get to enjoy their lives. I don't understand karma. I just wish and hope for the worst for them, a lot. It's a horrible thing to do, but I feel like a did everything right by them, I had to suffer for them, still suffering yet they get to be happy. It's just not fair to me.
Am I wrong for having these thoughts?
No you're not wrong I think most people can get thoughts like this, and sometimes it can seem that people who aren't so nice have everything. But it won't do you any good to have these thoughts, and also try and remember no matter what we see we cannot know how truly 'happy' people are, they may look like they have a lot but that means nothing.
:)
Yeah you're right. They could be suffering (I hope) It's mainly them having or experiencing things I'm working to get to. Jobs and relationships, things I want to enjoy but can't because the universe gave it to them
MyNameIsTerry
18-08-16, 13:37
It's normal enough as a human being and you will hear many people voice an opinion like this, and many times about people they just read about in the media.
But when I went through this is was counterproductive because it upset me. I would think how people were lucky because they had good lives whilst mine was falling apart. It was a negative thinking pattern that only caused negative thinking about myself and brought on low mood. Escaping this by not caring or just casually thinking "you jammy git" without dwelling or self examination got me out of that cycle and I'm much better for it.
randomforeigner
18-08-16, 14:21
Do you? I usually don't think like that about anyone I have actually met. I think you could instead concentrate on thinking about ways you can be happy, and then in ways that doesn't necessarily involve these people that you do not like. Pretend you never knew them in the first place, they're just random strangers to you, nothing to do with you.
I'm old enough to be your father Lone_bird. I have children your age. I'll tell you what I tell them about this subject.
You're going to be hurt by people. It's unfortunately the way of the world. And yes, you will feel angry and bitter. I can tell you from experience that you have to do your best to let it go and move on. Holding that anger will eat you up inside. The longer you hold it the more bitter, angry and unhappy you will be. It's very hard to do but with effort, those negative feelings can and will fade.
Forgiveness is not something that happens on it's own. You have to learn it and practice it. It's the same as maintaining a positive attitude. I went through what you're dealing with several times in my life and looking back, it had a terribly negative effect on me and my relationships. Eventually, with work, I learned how to distance myself from the types of people that caused me pain and to recognize and avoid them moving forward. Eventually, the anger subsided and even thinking about it at this point in my life evokes just a "whatever" response. It's done, it's over... move on.... Holding onto the past will never ever change it.
I have a thread in the Top Tips section called "Positive Thoughts" (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=19). For over 20 years I've been starting my day with a "Positive Thought". It helps to put me in the right frame of mind for the upcoming day. There are many times I'll make it the wallpaper on my computer or write it on a sticky note and put it on the bathroom mirror to remind me to stay positive.
It's a simple yet effective habit and certainly worth a try.
Positive thoughts
I wish it was easy for me to let go and forgive. Honestly, I completely forget about some of them until I see something that reminds me of them, or someone I know brings them up, or see them through a mutual friend on Facebook. Two of them even tried talking to me again but I'm just so filled of hate and anger whenever these people do cross my mind.
I don't sit around waiting on updates about them, I don't even care if I even know what happens to them. I just want them to suffer the way they made me.
You guys are right and it does add more anger to my life, but I can't let it go
I'll recommend again that you seek professional help with the feelings and thoughts you're having. Please seriously consider what I'm saying. It's very apparent by your posts that you're not in a good place and haven't been for some time. I gave you links in your previous threads. Help is a phone call away.
Positive thoughts
I'll recommend again that you seek professional help with the feelings and thoughts you're having. Please seriously consider what I'm saying. It's very apparent by your posts that you're not in a good place and haven't been for some time. I gave you links in your previous threads. Help is a phone call away.
Positive thoughts
I totally agree with FMP. Get yourself some support and things will start to improve.
Regarding the topic of this thread, you may look at others and think they're happy despite the kind of people they are. That's what most people want to portray to the world. What you don't know is what's really going on in their lives. Just because they have some money and a partner, it doesn't necessarily mean they're happy. They may have relationship problems, money troubles, health issues or even be suffering from a mental illness like us. We rarely understand the true nature of other people's private lives.
I prefer a compassionate approach. Even if I feel I've been badly treated, I would never wish anyone ill. I feel the best approach is to show kindness and understanding regardless, showing people the real strength and compassion you have. Trust me, this will make you feel better in the long run and those who continue to show malice will, at some point, receive the same back.
Now go and get that help!
Pip xx
I know it's wrong to assume some people are happy just but what I see, but if they truly are suffering and putting up a wall, that's fine with me. And I know I need help, and trust me when I say I'm working on it. It'll be a while before I push myself through those doors. I was thinking of waiting till school starts and go to the clinic on campus. That'd just be easier for me.
I also believe in treating others how I wish to be treated, and I was always a good person to them. They treated me bad, so it's obvious that's how they wish to be treated.
Hi there , sorry you are feeling this way, me and my partner went through this with her sister and nephew we helped them and they crapped on us time and time again to a point were I attacked the nephew who is in his twenties I could have got locked up and they still wouldn't leave it even though they were in the wrong , my partner had a heart attack brought on by the stress and I had some pretty bad stuff going on in my head to get back at them , my partner is still very bitter about it but I've had to let it go it just eats away at you and no good comes of it , anyway chatting to some of her family and we found out they had lost their house , lost the rented house after , the son doesn't see his daughter neither can his mum , and like when he was with us he was steeling money from his mum and dad , it took a while but karma got them without our help , what goes around comes around , if they are shit people who wronged you sooner or later it will happen to them , just try to treat people the way you would like them to treat you at least your conscience will be clear , take care .
I also believe in treating others how I wish to be treated, and I was always a good person to them.
You're 100% right and you should keep on doing it. Even to those who treat you bad. Don't sink to their level because it makes you look bad. Keep treating them nice and eventually everyone will see them for the )*&!#% they really are ;)
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
19-08-16, 10:38
Sometimes it's about feeling we have been taken advantage of. What we have a bad habit of doing is taking it further through self examination leading to us feeling a failure. If this is the case, you don't need to forgive others, you may just need to forgive yourself.
Whilst it's true that we can never know if the person who seems very happy on the outside is in fact unhappy, that's generalisation since some of them will be truly happy or successful. But why does it matter? Isn't the important part being happy yourself? So, why does it matter what or how they are?
Karma. Luck. Some people seem to get life handed to them on a plate BUT many work damn hard to get where they are in life. Someone who is an arsehead could have worked for their rewards and that's fair enough. Don't get caught up in karma paying people back, it just doesn't matter - only that you get the life you want & deserve.
It's like the old fable of the scorpion and the frog:
A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the frog agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When the frog asks the scorpion why, the scorpion replies that it was in its nature to do so.
If someone takes advantage, it's because WE let them. So, we get angry more with ourselves than them. So, how about accepting a scorpion is going to sting and accepting that you are a lovely frog who cares about others? It's better to be a frog in life, you don't need to be a scorpion in the kind of world most of us live in. Life gives you experience and your frog can harden up a bit to spot the scorpions for who they are.
Walking With Anxiety
19-08-16, 22:45
I remember feeling like this when I left school. I was bullied for a long time and I always used to see them having fun and being happy and wish they were in my situation.
When I started work, a manager once told me that eventually, you won't care what people do or think. I didn't believe him at the time, but now I realise that he was right.
Talking about it will help you to deal with it and work through it.
It's true what Buster says What goes around comes around.
Take care Lone_bird.:hugs:xx
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