I may need some support this weekend please

[Mojo61]

Hello,

My son who is 19 has gone off to th V Festival this morning. I know he's 19 and technically an adult but I still worry about him and I've been awake since 2am this morning feeling anxious and sick. I didn't want to spoil his weekend so I but on a big act this morning and told him to have a wonderful time, but inside I was shaking and as soon as he went I burst into tears. I've got to go to work now, which is a good think I think as it will take my mind off it, but he's camping with a big group of friends and the weather forecast is awful, I worry about all sorts of things like terrorist attacks and drugs/alcohol.

I know I'm being stupid but I don't have anyone to talk to about all this, well not anyone who would understand, they would just tell me to stop being so silly because he's an adult now, but to me he's still my little boy.

A worried mum xxx

[Phuzella]

I know how you feel. My son lives abroad, he's 28 and I still worry about him. It's natural for a mum :). I'm sure he'll be fine xxx

[Shazamataz]

Hi Mojo,

I don't think you are being stupid! You've had a crap few months and still don't have your anxiety sorted so of course you will be anxious about your son. Maybe also anxious about being alone?

He will be fine I am sure. Will have a blast and come home with loads of washing for you :)

Hugs

[Phuzella]

Yeah loads of washing :D

[Mojo61]

Thank you everyone. He's home on Monday, but then on Wednesday he goes off to the Reading Featival so I have a week or so of this. Just got to get through it and keep busy. xxx

[KeeKee]

Aw Mojo, you've a lot going on at the moment. Hope you can take your mind off things although I know it's hard to do so.

I'm sure your son will have a lovely time.

[Carnation]

It's perfectly normal to worry, even without being an anxiety sufferer.
After all, he is your baby. :) (No matter what age he is).

Just remember that he is with friends, so he is not alone.
It's only a few days and I know a bit about festivals and they are not the picture they you may have painted for yourself.

My suggestion would be to give yourself a list of chores to do the weekend.
Maybe something you don't have time to do, like clearing out some cupboards, having a clear out, changing the room around?

He'll be back before you know it and I wouldn't worry about the weather, the media always like to exaggerate and cause people unnecessary worry. It's just some rain and a bit of wind and your son will treat it like an adventure. And remember that these events have stewards and have put in safety measures, so it's not like je is going off in to the wilds. Once you get through the weekend, then the next one will not be so bad.

As always, you have support on here if you need it. x :hugs:

[Sunflower2]

Hi Mojo,

I'm sure my mum has had years of worrying about me and my brother! Between us we've travelled all over the world since we were in our 20s and my poor mum worries about us doing anything!

From a young persons perspective, we are generally more careful when away from home and also we will have at least one friend that is the sensible one if we aren't! How were you at 19? As my mum often reminds me, she didn't have a phone when she was my age so her parents never even knew exactly where she was and when she'd be home! Times have changed a lot but parents worry hasn't! :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

I would have thought any mum or dad would still worry about a 19 year old going away? Don't they worry every time they go out pubbing? Mine did.

I doubt the weather will be too bad, Mojo, it's been bucketing down since about 6am around here (I'm not that far away from where V is) but it's normal English weather and we don't have any thunder forecast.

You're not being silly at all. I'm sure there will be plenty of support for you on here over the weekend so keep talking. :hugs::flowers:

[aprilmoon]

Hi mojo
If it helps my daughters are all in their twenties with families of their own and I still worry about them. No matter what age they are,you still do.
I'm sure your son will be just fine.:)

[pulisa]

I'd be the same, Mojo. It's because we care. Maybe a bit too much but still...we are entitled to!:DThey all seem to love awful weather at music festivals now-the muddier the better! As for terrorist attacks, no one can say it 100% won't happen but it is highly unlikely due to increased awareness and vigilance.

I'd hate the thought of all that washing afterwards!

Hope the time goes quickly and he's back home safely. You'll take the next Festival in your stride xx

[Buster70]

Hi , two daughters in their twenties I worry but I want them to enjoy themselves , festivals are very safe these days security and medical help on hand , back in the eighties and ninties things were different and I was a nut case with alcohol in me but I allways got there and back in one piece , tired dirty but happy we'd had a good time , wouldn't you worry more if they were sat in a dark room on video games only coming out for food , if you didn't worry that wouldn't be normal , just think about the stinking muddy washing you'll have to look forward to on Monday , take care .

[Mojo61]

Thanks guys. He has been messaging me from the venue, he says it's p****** it down lol!

Terry, when I was his age I was living and working as a children's nanny in Greece. There were no such things as mobile phones then and if you wanted to phone England you had to go to the main Greek telephone exchange building in Athens and pay to use a little cubicle to phone home. My mum kept writing to me asking if I was OK because she hadn't heard from me. I didn't bother writing back because I was too busy enjoying my life. Eventually she wrote saying she was going to contact the police because she was worried sick!

I can iMessage Jack, I can FaceTime him, I can phone and text him yet I'm still worried lol - there's no hope for me! :roflmao:

[Magic]

Mojoe, We all do it. No matter how old. Your poor Mum!
Try to relax and have a good nights sleep:shades: xxx

[Buster70]

There's only one thing for it next time you are going to have to get your wellies out and sleeping bag and go with them , I miss all that stuff jelous as hell when my daughters boyfriend goes to download I even take them , he will be fine , as parents we just don't like losing control , take care .

[dale12345]

I don't think your stupid your being a dad.

[sidiam]

I still worry about my son and he is 45 end of this year...goes with the territory...

http://www.vfestival.com/

good idea Buster, we'll all go .

take care
Sxx:hugs:

[Mojo61]

I don't think your stupid your being a dad.

Have I had a sex change and not noticed? :ohmy:

[Buster70]

Hi , you get to a certain age and no one tells you anything , the thing about this site you don't know weather you're talking to man , woman or beast , looking on your profile I see why you have more reason to worry , he will soon be back safe and well and next time it will be a bit easier , take care .

[dale12345]

sorry meant mom....

[MyNameIsTerry]

How are you getting on, Mojo? Has he contacted you about having a great time?

It's funny really, perhaps technology has only made us worse so that now we are expecting more contact?

[Mojo61]

Hi Terry, I was doing OK until a message flashed up on my iPad from one of his mates saying "Hope you're OK bro?" That was at 1.30am. Now my mind is working overtime thinking all sorts of things. I can see where he is on my phone tracker app and his signal is quite a distance from where his tent is! You can imagine how my mind is going round and round can't you?

Panic over, just got an iMessage - "Morning Mum!" :blush:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Aw, he thought of his mum though. Good lad.

You're tracking him? :ohmy: Perhaps there were still events on at that time? Or if it was one of his mates he went with, he might have been in a tent...just not the one you expect him to be in...:winks::whistles:

[Mojo61]

Yes, I've got an app on my phone which allows me to track his phone. He doesn't mind, and he tracks mine as well because he says he gets worried if he doesn't know where I am. I think it all stems back from him losing his dad when he was 9 years old. He says he's already lost one parent and he doesn't want to lose the other one. Poor lad :weep:

[MyNameIsTerry]

I bet he's very protective of you too. I truly awful experience to go through at any age but even worse as a child. I bet it took a lot of love to get him through it and he will be a credit to you, and his dad. :flowers:

[Mojo61]

Thank you Terry. Yes it was a dreadful time, how to you explain to a little 9 year old boy that his Daddy who he worships isn't going to live much longer? It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I was lucky because I had support from Demelza House Children's Hospice who had a specialist bereavement counsellor for children who have lost a parent. My family were useless and I had to cope with everything on my own. I looked after my husband at home too so Jack was able to lay in bed cuddling him in those last few days. He wanted to see him after he died too, I didn't ask him, he asked me so we went upstairs and he kissed his daddy and said he looked much happier and just like he was asleep. Heartbreaking....

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well I'm glad you got that help, it must have been invaluable, family on board or not?

I bet it was heartbreaking but also very warming to see your young son do that for his dad. I think that shows some serious maturity & compassion for his age.

There can't be any way to tell a child something like that. It's bad enough facing it in life as we get older. Sometimes though, I think kids are much tougher than we realise and they adjust better than we do. They seem to just get on with it. It's like when you see kids that are really ill, we adults often seem to end up with depression yet those brave kids seem to be able to still be kids through all of that pain. It's inspiring to see, I just wish no one ever had to.

[pulisa]

You have been through and shared such a lot, Mojo. Although he may go on mini adventures he's never far from his Mum xx