View Full Version : Has your anxiety made you feel like you're going mad?
What's the worst you've felt?
Like the ground opened up underneath me, and I fell into a terrible dark hole in which my whole life had no future and no hope with no friends, nothing.
Thankfully, I don't feel like that today.
Any symptoms you've ever had and double them. That's what I've had and until I realised that it was up to me to sort them, they remained. Get help, doctor, therapy, meds if necessary. ...do whatever you have to.
But until you admit it's up to you, you're stuck in the spiral :)
Shazamataz
19-08-16, 08:08
My anxiety was so bad I wanted to die. I couldn't leave the house on my own. I actually thought I WAS going to die and that I was going insane (couldn't eat or sleep, couldn't string a sentence together, couldn't sit still, terrified in my own house, terrified to go to sleep). I spent two months with a bag packed for the hospital and took myself there twice as I felt so ill.
You've got a long way to go Reb. If you are working and socializing and going on holidays you are not going mad.
I've felt so bad that I genuinely believe had I had the money I would have left my partner and child (temporarily). My battle is mainly with depression although I do also suffer health anxiety. I think my fear of dying is exasperated by my relationships with my daughter and partner (who is now living apart from me). All I can think of in my deepest, darkest hours, is that if I were to die in the near future my partner would see it as a blessing and my daughter would grow up never knowing what it's like to have a happy Mother.
I HATE mental health issues. As they aren't physical you aren't always taken seriously, yet they can be just as debilitating.
So bad that I wouldn't get out of bed. Couldn't eat, couldn't socialise. Intrusive thoughts. Same as the other posters have said. I got a good counsellor and used self help books and websites and started to recover. Still get blips but hopefully never go back in to that dark hole.
There's been lots of bad times - let me count the ways. One time I lay screaming into a pillow all day, moaning like a beast, but that wasn't the worst.
But now it's good. Recovery is possible.
Reb/Helen, do you really need to know how bad it can get? Isn't it in your best interests to concentrate on your own recovery? You are dealing with a variety of your own symptoms already....
I've spent all morning reading recovery stories. Because I feel so low at the moment I need to know I'm not alone and it can get better
Yes recovery is entirely possible, I know that even with the blip I'm having now. I can get out of it. So can you Helen, it is very hard work, but worthwhile, definitely not an overnight cure. I'm going to go back through everything I've learned and get back on track. Starting with http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/healthanxiety.htm. Have you given it a go yet?
I have actually and keep it saved as a book mark to go back to. I particularly find the super scanner interesting. The idea of focusing in something and noticing things you wouldn't usually. It made a lot of sense reading that.
I've spent all morning reading recovery stories. Because I feel so low at the moment I need to know I'm not alone and it can get better
You are not alone. There are many like us, more than we probably realize.
Baby steps, it's not easy but can be done. You can recover but you have to take the first steps. There is no timescale to recovery, it wont be an overnight thing, don't expect to feel better as soon as you start doing the self help. You'll notice after a while that things are improving, but then you have a little set back, but all normal.
You are normal, you have the power to recover within you, willpower alone wont do it, you can't just switch off the thoughts and "get a grip". If it was that easy none of us would be struggling with this.
Go for it girl. JFDI
---------- Post added at 09:15 ---------- Previous post was at 09:13 ----------
I have actually and keep it saved as a book mark to go back to. I particularly find the super scanner interesting. The idea of focusing in something and noticing things you wouldn't usually. It made a lot of sense reading that.
Very pleased to hear that Helen. Anyway I'm off to do a mindful task, the ironing!!! so going off line for a while. :yesyes:
---------- Post added at 09:19 ---------- Previous post was at 09:15 ----------
PS: if you don't know what JFDI is type it into NMP search. It's an acronym that spurs me on when I'm at my lowest.
I can hazard a guess and think it's Just ****ing Do it? Or is that my crude mind again :roflmao:
---------- Post added at 10:08 ---------- Previous post was at 10:07 ----------
I've done it before over and over and then I get worried again.
---------- Post added at 11:09 ---------- Previous post was at 10:08 ----------
I'm worrying a little now because I think I think my vision is blurry. It's not, just a bit striated as I work on computers. Eye test last month was fine and doc looked in eyes recently and were healthy.
Breeeeaathe
Yes Helen, spot on JFDI ha ha.
Have you tried a bit of mindfulness? Have you read about it? Where you pick a task eg ironing or something you have to do in work, and give it your full attention. Whenever your mind wanders back to you worries, you just gently take it back to the task in hand. No need to get cross with yourself when your mind wanders which it will, it takes lots of practise, but might be something you could do to break the habit of reassurance seeking or googling possible illnesses. There is more info on that get self help website which you may find useful.
Anyway back to my mindful task. I have a day off work today, and I should be catching up instead of posting on NMP. It can become a habit with me.
I think I shared a bit of this before, but when I first started having panic attacks in my early 20s (21-22) I nearly lost everything. I think for about a year, those physical feelings of panic were so overwhelming and consuming that I isolated myself, lost my relationship, lost my job, moved back into my parents' house all to just get solid footing again. I went on a mild dose of meds and regular therapy. I started working out a lot and that helped tremendously. Most of all, I learned what panic FEELS like.
After I had my first child, my anxiety channeled itself toward health. It comes and goes, and I've taken meds as "water wings" for a year here or there, but not indefinitely (I just got prescribed some but I haven't started taking it yet). I've learned that when I get lazy about my health, my anxiety gets less manageable. If I am eating crap (standard Western diet heavy on carbs), not getting physical activity, am isolated (not in church or other fellowship with friends/family), and too self-focused (not serving others), it's harder to get control of my anxiety.
I will always have this predisposition toward panic. It's not going away. But it gets better the more you know yourself. You will struggle, but it gets better when you get help and do the work.
Just my .02 :hugs:
I think I shared a bit of this before, but when I first started having panic attacks in my early 20s (21-22) I nearly lost everything. I think for about a year, those physical feelings of panic were so overwhelming and consuming that I isolated myself, lost my relationship, lost my job, moved back into my parents' house all to just get solid footing again. I went on a mild dose of meds and regular therapy. I started working out a lot and that helped tremendously. Most of all, I learned what panic FEELS like.
After I had my first child, my anxiety channeled itself toward health. It comes and goes, and I've taken meds as "water wings" for a year here or there, but not indefinitely (I just got prescribed some but I haven't started taking it yet). I've learned that when I get lazy about my health, my anxiety gets less manageable. If I am eating crap (standard Western diet heavy on carbs), not getting physical activity, am isolated (not in church or other fellowship with friends/family), and too self-focused (not serving others), it's harder to get control of my anxiety.
I will always have this predisposition toward panic. It's not going away. But it gets better the more you know yourself. You will struggle, but it gets better when you get help and do the work.
Just my .02 :hugs:
That's a million dollars worth of advice in less than 200 words! Great post!
Positive thoughts
brucealmighty
19-08-16, 16:40
fabulous advice minivil, absolutely on the money. glad you are much better these days.
I'm having a low moment and wondering if i have been hearing voices. Basically I experienced hypnagogic the other day and freaked me out. I had two occasions o thought boyfriend had said something but we were walking past 100s of people.
I also heard someone on bus say something loudly that made me turn around. Bus was fill and some guy was talking on the phone.
Are these true auditory hallucinations.
ServerError
19-08-16, 19:55
If you were having auditory hallucinations, you'd not be questioning it. You would be experiencing it as complete and unquestioning reality. Others around you would notice big changes in your behaviour and would seek to get you treated.
You are not hearing voices.
Yes recovery is entirely possible, I know that even with the blip I'm having now. I can get out of it. So can you Helen, it is very hard work, but worthwhile, definitely not an overnight cure. I'm going to go back through everything I've learned and get back on track. Starting with http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/healthanxiety.htm. Have you given it a go yet?
Primula has given you some excellent reference material here. Maybe have another look at the info to divert you from the symptoms questions?
Thanks server. But if it caused me to turn around in the direction of the chap I thought it was, was it likely him talking? Sorry. Keeping grip on reality
brucealmighty
19-08-16, 20:10
personal humble opinion only - I think you should try your best to post less and really ask yourself the questions that you post on here.
In my experience I`ve absolutely 100% seen random tumbling shapes in the periphery of my vision, heard growling noises in my head, known exactly what people thought of me, seen my own death, and any number of other things. none were real, they were all a product of my mental illness.
you really can get better but a large part of it has to come from you, constantly posting your symptoms and asking random strangers their opinions really won`t help you.
I feel in turn compassionate towards you, then utterly dismissive because I `know` that you`re taking the p*ss - but that`s the trouble with mental illness, what do you really know?
I know I wish you well, I know I want you to be steady in mind and body, but I also know you have to stop expecting everyone else to make you better, I promise you the key to getting better is to realise your recovery lies in your own hands, no one elses.
take care and I sincerely wish you good health and happy times ahead.
ServerError
19-08-16, 20:12
You aren't hallucinating. That's all I can tell you. We all 'hear' things that didn't happen or misinterpret a sound on some way. Our brains are amazing, but they aren't perfect.
If you were having auditory hallucinations, you would not be on here asking about them.
Aside from the stop googling how else did you all get the better movement going.
From personal experience I just got a bit fed up of going to the doctors and wasting his time. All my worries were unfounded.
I was convinced I had Melanoma in December, that was the worst I've ever felt. It ruined my Christmas. I took a photo of my 'Melanoma' and when I went to the doctors and was told it wasn't that, I also showed him the photo. He told me had I shown him the photograph first he would have been worried but the actual thing was harmless. This just proved to me that even when in certain lights, photos or mindsets something doesn't look right, it could be entirely harmless.
I still have Health Anxiety, but it's no longer debilitating. I get the odd 'oh my God' moment, but I'm a lot more level headed now. I don't rush to the doctors and I very rarely Google.
You asked what has helped others move forward. Aside from all the suggestions already in this thread and other threads, I have one:
I think being less self-absorbed is key. I don't mean that in a narcissistic sense, but an inward focus. Part of health anxiety by definition is focus on our bodies, scanning for sensations, probing things, constantly obsessed with what's happening in us/to us. It's all about ourselves.
Call it diversion, distraction, or whatever you need to move beyond yourself and preferably on the lives of others in some way has helped me before.
Have you encouraged others on the board? Do you comment on others' threads, reassuring them? That could be a start, although I'd recommend NON health related service personally. :)
Walking With Anxiety
19-08-16, 22:53
Anxiety is a cruel beast because it feeds on your negative thoughts. I am on meds at the moment, but I still get the feeling that I am alone and no-one understands. I have the feeling that I am going to fail and that nothing will work.
Once I realised that my anxiety was doing all this, I started to turn a corner. You can do it.
Anxiety heightens your senses. It's the fight or flight mechanism. You may find it helpful to start focusing away from reassurance seeking to what's going on around you. Just focusing on mundane tasks or going for a walk or even ironing like I did yesterday. You can do this.
.
Morning guys, I'm now worrying that my thought process is in face me hearing voices. I have always had an internal monologue often day dream type things. I play out conversations. Always had this. Just wonder if this is a schizophrenic sign?
You asked what has helped others move forward. Aside from all the suggestions already in this thread and other threads, I have one:
I think being less self-absorbed is key. I don't mean that in a narcissistic sense, but an inward focus. Part of health anxiety by definition is focus on our bodies, scanning for sensations, probing things, constantly obsessed with what's happening in us/to us. It's all about ourselves.
Call it diversion, distraction, or whatever you need to move beyond yourself and preferably on the lives of others in some way has helped me before.
Have you encouraged others on the board? Do you comment on others' threads, reassuring them? That could be a start, although I'd recommend NON health related service personally. :)
^^THIS^^
I did find that worked before. I used the SAM App.
You asked what has helped others move forward. Aside from all the suggestions already in this thread and other threads, I have one:
I think being less self-absorbed is key. I don't mean that in a narcissistic sense, but an inward focus. Part of health anxiety by definition is focus on our bodies, scanning for sensations, probing things, constantly obsessed with what's happening in us/to us. It's all about ourselves.
Call it diversion, distraction, or whatever you need to move beyond yourself and preferably on the lives of others in some way has helped me before.
Have you encouraged others on the board? Do you comment on others' threads, reassuring them? That could be a start, although I'd recommend NON health related service personally. :)
I did find that worked before. I used the SAM App.
I was referring to the suggestion about helping others on the forums, taking time away from self obsession to see if you could offer support to someone who needs it?
I have done. There's a chap who I won't name who I see has daily posts like me so maybe I can reach out to similar members
I have done. There's a chap who I won't name who I see has daily posts like me so maybe I can reach out to similar members
This has actually made me smile! Yes, you can. Now how about doing it? If we see you helping somebody else there will be a resounding virtual cheer x
This means helping them mange their anxiety not comparing notes on similar symptoms though....Helping them recognise they are dealing with anxiety not a sinister physical illness? Could you give this a try?
Helen may not yet be in a position to be able to help others yet. It's really difficult to think of anyone but yourself when your in the grip of panic and anxiety. Best wishes.
I agree, in part. I think helping others here or being here too often isn't always helpful.
Being in the grip of extreme anxiety doesn't mean one cannot invest in others---it's beneficial. (Might not be "comfortable" but it's beneficial). Helen has a full life and is functional (according to her) aside from her fears expressed on these boards, so, a little less self-reflection and more service toward others helps to get some perspective.
I say all this as a fellow anxiety sufferer--nothing I haven't had to learn myself so I hope it's taken in that spirit. :hugs:
Good points, Minivil.
---------- Post added at 13:19 ---------- Previous post was at 13:17 ----------
Helen may not yet be in a position to be able to help others yet. It's really difficult to think of anyone but yourself when your in the grip of panic and anxiety. Best wishes.
It is really difficult but speaking as a carer and an anxiety sufferer it can be done.
I agree, in part. I think helping others here or being here too often isn't always helpful.
Being in the grip of extreme anxiety doesn't mean one cannot invest in others---it's beneficial. (Might not be "comfortable" but it's beneficial). Helen has a full life and is functional (according to her) aside from her fears expressed on these boards, so, a little less self-reflection and more service toward others helps to get some perspective.
I say all this as a fellow anxiety sufferer--nothing I haven't had to learn myself so I hope it's taken in that spirit. :hugs:
I agree and it helped me during the worst of my health anxiety
Helen may not yet be in a position to be able to help others yet. It's really difficult to think of anyone but yourself when your in the grip of panic and anxiety. Best wishes.
With complete respect, I think there are many of us here who don't choose to talk about how bad things have got while we are in the grip of panic and anxiety. Just because we don't focus on it and relive it, doesn't mean we are unaware, far from it. Making the conscious effort, even if unsuccessful, to turn away from our own issues and try and think of others, can only be beneficial in breaking the cycle of self obsession and inward thinking. If the point of posting is to break away from the torment of these thoughts, rather than succumb to them, making an effort shouldn't be harmful in the least.
Just my take on it anyway.
I fully agree with you, Mercime.
With complete respect, I think there are many of us here who don't choose to talk about how bad things have got while we are in the grip of panic and anxiety. Just because we don't focus on it and relive it, doesn't mean we are unaware, far from it. Making the conscious effort, even if unsuccessful, to turn away from our own issues and try and think of others, can only be beneficial in breaking the cycle of self obsession and inward thinking. If the point of posting is to break away from the torment of these thoughts, rather than succumb to them, making an effort shouldn't be harmful in the least.
Just my take on it anyway.
I totally agree.
After all, if we ALL could not respond to others due to anxiety making us 'think only of ourselves', then NOBODY would get a response on this forum!!
Sometimes it is a matter of trying to make the effort to be a little less self-absorbed, and divert your attention to others. I also agree that trying to help other sufferers is great therapy in itself.
If the assumption is that members who respond to other sufferers are 'the well ones' or the ones who are over their mental health issues, that could not be further from the truth (speaking personally)
I don't think it's about severity of the individual. I think it's about how each person deals with their own issues.
Some people reach out to others, some succumb to their own self pity. I've done both.
brucealmighty
20-08-16, 14:10
well put debs lots of people on here may log on purely to see who they can help or offer advice to, then when it gets too much they go back to being hugely anxious or frightened.
you see posts from people who are very knowledgeable and assume they must sail through life but you really can`t tell.
I know personally it helps me to try and help others when I`ve got enough in the tank to do so, at other times I know it would be a wrong move so its a bit of a balancing act.
well put debs lots of people on here may log on purely to see who they can help or offer advice to, then when it gets too much they go back to being hugely anxious or frightened.
you see posts from people who are very knowledgeable and assume they must sail through life but you really can`t tell.
I know personally it helps me to try and help others when I`ve got enough in the tank to do so, at other times I know it would be a wrong move so its a bit of a balancing act.
100% agree.
Sometimes when you fell your worst, the thing that helps the most is helping others.
Sometimes when you fell your worst, the thing that helps the most is helping others.
Where is that "like" button?
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