CanadianLady
20-08-16, 05:47
Hi Everyone, I have been coming on this site for a couple of years reading posts and understanding completely what everyone here is going through.
I am in my early forties and have always been a nervy person. The pregnancy of my second daughter, I believe, has triggered a case of health anxiety in me. At the 18th week, I was sent for a panic ultrasound by my GP when she was having trouble detecting a heartbeat. And long story short, which involved rude nurses and a weekend of worry, my daughter was diagnosed with fetal cystic hygroma - a very large septated fluid-filled sac on the back her of neck indicating heart and/or chromosomal abnormalities. It was a likely possibility that I would lose the baby and I sat around for three weeks crying. I even selected an epitaph for her headstone.
But we soldiered through and the fluid resolved itself, and additional testing showed my little girl had typical chromosomes. She was born healthy, but the damage was done to me. Ever since that experience of 'we are having a baby' turned into 'I'm planning a funeral', I have been completely on edge about my own health and that of my two daughters.
Like most of you, I have convinced myself that I have had almost every form of cancer in the last few years - pancreatic, melanoma (just had two moles removed and found out last Thursday they were benign), brain, throat, uterine, ovarian, you name it. I am trying desperately to not run to the emergency for every little thing and stress out my daughters. Really, last Thursday I just stopped worrying that I was about to die of melanoma, and now my oldest girl comes to me with a bump on her wrist. I (of course) googled it and it looks like a ganglion cyst - she loves to do Gymnastics and the wrist with the bump is the one that takes all the stress. I will take her in to verify that that is it, but in the back of my mind I can't help but fear it is cancer. Really, I go from one event to the other like this, expecting that this time will be the time one of us ends up in a box. I want to be able to just enjoy my many blessings - a happy marriage and two adorable little girls without constantly thinking some sudden health crisis will take everything I cherish from me.
I am in my early forties and have always been a nervy person. The pregnancy of my second daughter, I believe, has triggered a case of health anxiety in me. At the 18th week, I was sent for a panic ultrasound by my GP when she was having trouble detecting a heartbeat. And long story short, which involved rude nurses and a weekend of worry, my daughter was diagnosed with fetal cystic hygroma - a very large septated fluid-filled sac on the back her of neck indicating heart and/or chromosomal abnormalities. It was a likely possibility that I would lose the baby and I sat around for three weeks crying. I even selected an epitaph for her headstone.
But we soldiered through and the fluid resolved itself, and additional testing showed my little girl had typical chromosomes. She was born healthy, but the damage was done to me. Ever since that experience of 'we are having a baby' turned into 'I'm planning a funeral', I have been completely on edge about my own health and that of my two daughters.
Like most of you, I have convinced myself that I have had almost every form of cancer in the last few years - pancreatic, melanoma (just had two moles removed and found out last Thursday they were benign), brain, throat, uterine, ovarian, you name it. I am trying desperately to not run to the emergency for every little thing and stress out my daughters. Really, last Thursday I just stopped worrying that I was about to die of melanoma, and now my oldest girl comes to me with a bump on her wrist. I (of course) googled it and it looks like a ganglion cyst - she loves to do Gymnastics and the wrist with the bump is the one that takes all the stress. I will take her in to verify that that is it, but in the back of my mind I can't help but fear it is cancer. Really, I go from one event to the other like this, expecting that this time will be the time one of us ends up in a box. I want to be able to just enjoy my many blessings - a happy marriage and two adorable little girls without constantly thinking some sudden health crisis will take everything I cherish from me.