Is there a majic wand

[Pip78]

Hi all. As I once again switch on this laptop, in anticipation of discovering that certain piece of info, that hidden jem of enlightenment, that long sort after piece of majic, that will help me to see some light, and guide me back to some sort of normality, I sigh.

At home, as my good wife smiles at me, I do the deep breathing thing, I sit upright, relaxed, ready ring up on Monday for the results of a recent test at the doctors surgery. Ready to stop taking my blood pressure. I really am ready to book that little holiday, even ready to board that coach and let it take me somewhere where the sun shines. Oh it's going to be great - Oh boy.

A few hours later - I stop the deep breathing, I am no longer relaxed - surely the news from the surgery nurse will be bad news, I have no symptoms of any illness, but that means nothing, and that doctor telling me just how many blood test I have had in the last 9 years means nothing either. And then, oh dear, how foolish I was, I booked that holiday, paid the deposit as well, and now suddenly I am terrified of being in some foreign place, with people I do not know, unable to get back home immediately - what shall I do?

There's nothing I can do about having to ring for the test result, but I wish I could just stop thinking about it. Ahh yes, I can cancel that holiday, lose the deposit, stay at home where I am safe, remember that last panic attack, when I fell onto the floor at the hotel the night before that flight - I cannot let that happen again, right, cancel it, and all will be well once more.

And that one and all is how I live my life - my good wife still smiles - patiently - but obviously disappointed about the holiday cancellation. And I feel 'a _hit'

So, my question is - does anyone know if there is a majic wand? Some sensible approach to shake off these stupid feelings, and if so, where would be the best place to look for it? Any suggestions would be very much appreciated - and thank you for reading this pathetic little story.

[skymaid]

I wish there was.

I was impatient to get rid of my panic attacks and anxiety so I can get back to enjoying myself so I went private to get a physciatric assessment and treatment quickly.

therapy without or without medication is about it. you do hear of people who are cured with hypnotherapy and other methods but I never kniw if these are real or just fake reviews.

im currently starting cbt with a small amountbof medication. too early to say if its effective yet

[WiredIncorrectly]

Sadly there's no magic wand :( I've been searching for many years.

Im facing a similar issue to you, and have had an issue regarding holidays. It's terrible :( I find that I ruin plans for my family and I often wonder why my girlfriend sticks by me.

I have to go to Drayton Manor next Saturday. I am bricking it. I really don't want to go as I will spend most of the day watching everyone else have fun. I can't do rides. Not anymore. As a kid I loved them, but as an adult it's dreadful.

3 years ago I went on holiday (sadly don't have the money to go again just yet). Booked it the week me and my girlfriend got back together after a break. After I'd booked it I regretted it. The anxiety ate away at me. The 5 hour train journey was nasty. I really didn't want to go, but I had to because she was so excited and I couldn't let her down.

Once I got there I wasn't that bad. We rented a nice high end caravan on a caravan park in Devon. Right opposite the sea. It was very beautiful. I didn't sleep the first few nights, but managed to absorb all the beautiful views whilst everyone was asleep. I managed to go on long walks, and was pretty much fine. I did have panic attacks, and being away from my comfort zone was difficult. But it's certainly doable. I find there's a lot to do on holiday that keeps your mind busy. I left 3 days before I was meant to because my panic attacks were horrible. I remember the train ride home. I had the skipping heartbeats the entire journey whilst trapped on a train for 5 hours.

Whilst on holiday I bought an inflatable boat and went out into the sea. I wanted to conquer my fear of being alone. I didn't go too far out, but far enough that people on the beach looked like dots. I had a panic attack right there in the boat. What could I do? I couldn't swim back. There was no way I was getting back to the shore quickly. It took me 10 minutes to get out there. So I just dealt with it, lay down, and soaked up some of the hot sun :)

You can do this mate, honestly. In times like this I think about how it makes my girlfriend happy. Sometimes my anxiety gets in the way, and it must be hard for her. And I feel sometimes she needs a break to recuperate. Because although my girlfriend doesn't have anxiety, living with me at times is demanding on her. And I have to thank her for putting up with me. She's amazing.

Go on this holiday. Make yourself proud, and your wife proud. Go enjoy yourself.

Most fear in anxiety is built up in our head. We manifest a mountain out of a mole hill and convince ourselves what we're feeling, and thinking, is true. But it isn't.

:)

[Pip78]

Hi Skyemaidstone and WiredIncorrectly - many thanks for your very thoughtful replies.

What you both say I do know to be so true. I have today subscribed to what seems to be a very good treatment plan - it is offered through one of the UK's anxiety charities, (not sure if I would be allowed to mention the name). Anyway, it begins with a series of 10 minute relaxation sessions, but should go on the much more. It would seem that a great number of fellow sufferers use it. It will post again as soon as I begin to feel how it is working. The holiday mags remain lying on the side table, ready to be picked up - Will I ring the surgery for the results of that test, ooooh, we shall see. Thanks again for your posts, very much appreciated. Pip78.