idiot

[skymaid]

i'm starting to think I must be an idiot.

I had a panic attack on tuesday about my stomach feeling a bit 'indigestiony' waves of butterflies all morning and by 2pm I felt dreadful. had to take a tablet. felt fine afterward.


friday it was usual panicky symptoms but my throat felt like it was twitching or something. made me feel weird. set off panic.

today I woke up with a start (damn cat) at 5am fell back to sleep. woke up at 9am with my usual wave of butterflies and pounding heart. didnt seem to go away wish it usually does by 2-3pm. I got a random faint feeling (despite laying down). vaguely needed the loo. thought I might have something wrong with me this time. panic set in. tablet.

I must be an idiot. im not asking for sympathy I just dont get how these symptoms keep tricking me until thinking im ill (and may be sick which is my phobia).

in all those cases I didnt even feel nauseous and ive never been sick with a panic attack (apparently emetophobes never are and I never have been in over 20 years).

but STILL I panic? I make no sense.

[swgrl09]

Ok first please be kinder to yourself. You are definitely not an idiot at all. When we develop a panic disorder, it is because our mind and body no longer know what is dangerous and what is not. So it gets to a point where it is just how you are automatically reacting. But the good thing is it can be changed!! It takes a lot of practice, commitment, and time. I don't know if you posted before about this, but are you doing any CBT to treat the panic attacks?

[dale12345]

I agree don't be so hard on your self, you have a mental illness you didnt ask for it it just happened. I just started CBT I think it will help, do you go to therapy?

[WiredIncorrectly]

I'm the same. I tell myself "James, you've had this for 12 years and non of your panic attacks were of any significance and they all passed. I'm still here alive and well". You'd think I'd be able to tell myself that it's not real. But nope. Not me.

You're not an idiot though. Anxiety manifests itself and causes all sorts of trouble. The chemical released when anxious will wreck havoc on your body and cause all sorts of short lived problems.

It makes me wonder ... do we have 2 forms of consciousness within us? Because our brain does one thing even though we don't want it to, whilst our inner self is fighting with the brain. If that makes any sense. Feels like a battle between me and my brain most times.

[LittleMissAlone]

Hi Skymaid

ALL my panic attacks revolve around me thinking I'm going to be sick, and I haven't been since since I was 21 in 1991, and before that when I was 12. I think I've always been an emetophobe, though this episode only for the past few months. I worked as a teacher for a few years and never even caught a stomach bug, despite being run down, but I get awful nausea, a gassy feeling,money when out. I've just discovered yoga for digestion, I think theat may help.

You're not an idiot, it's the way our brains think. I know I'm improving, and if I can anyone can.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It makes me wonder ... do we have 2 forms of consciousness within us? Because our brain does one thing even though we don't want it to, whilst our inner self is fighting with the brain. If that makes any sense. Feels like a battle between me and my brain most times.

The book "The Inner Chimp" speaks of this. Your inner chimp is emotional & more childlike and throws a wobbly over change & uncertainty.

The subconscious learns through watching behaviour. If you teach yourself to be anxious, it notices and makes associations between things to make that behaviour normal. And that's exactly why we spend time trying to change it back in therapy. The problem is, the survival system is very strong, it's there to protect us, and because of this negatives get stored quicker than positive/neutral because they are expected to more important e.g. that animal is dangerous is more important than this plant smells nice.

Core beliefs, Cognitive Distortions, etc are worth reading about.

[KatiePink]

The book "The Inner Chimp" speaks of this. Your inner chimp is emotional & more childlike and throws a wobbly over change & uncertainty.

The subconscious learns through watching behaviour. If you teach yourself to be anxious, it notices and makes associations between things to make that behaviour normal. And that's exactly why we spend time trying to change it back in therapy. The problem is, the survival system is very strong, it's there to protect us, and because of this negatives get stored quicker than positive/neutral because they are expected to more important e.g. that animal is dangerous is more important than this plant smells nice.

Core beliefs, Cognitive Distortions, etc are worth reading about.

That's interesting, makes sense about negative thoughts being stored quicker than positives

[WiredIncorrectly]

Oh, thanks for that I am going to grab a copy of this book.

[LittleMissAlone]

I've just found this link on the inner chimp. I'll take a closer look later but from what I've seen it's very very relevant. We can't control our inner chimp, but we can manage it.

http://www.brilliantlivinghq.com/in-control-of-your-life-3-techniques-for-managing-your-inner-chimp/