View Full Version : can a child be a sociapath??
Afternoon my partners 6 year old sons behaviour concerns me, and I'm wondering what I should advise her to ? He is not naughty at all but I've never met such a callous kid, but an utter wimp at the same time? His dad buys him stuff constantly which therefore within seconds of his mom fetching him bk he constantly asks for his dad to pick him back up ie materialistic ...unless his mom has a better offer that suits him!! His reading and writing skills are shambolic but hell do something cheeky like then reel everyone back in as he's very funny and cute but I don't buy it he's smart in ways it suits him.....the other day his mom was in tears and he said "why you crying mommy ? Then he stroked her face and said there there it doesn't matter mommy's crying as daddy is picking me up soon? " WTF I was in disbelief at the coldness so I'm saying he's not naughty but he's completely emotionless unless he thinks he's in danger ie we went on a boat and he was in panic throughout the whole time
He also asks if we are going to chop fishes heads off when I go fishing but I am yet to see him stamp on an ant so nothing adds up??
He sounds like a confused little boy to me. If his life has had disruption, his emotions will be confused.
Sorry, but saying what I think here. You referring to a six year old as "callous" and "an utter wimp" is just awful. I really hope you don't relay those opinions into him. Stability is what will help, and a bit of patience and understanding.
Kids do things differently and come out with all sorts of rubbish sometimes you can't take it at face value as they're kids and don't know if what they're saying is right, I'm pretty sure there's no meaning behind any of it. Nothing you have said stands out at all to me, and of course a child will be excited for their dad to pick them up if they don't see him as much as mum and kids love getting spoilt that's nothing really new.
I think you're looking into everything too much for some reason, let the kid be and if anything was wrong you would know about it or more importantly mum would know.
Stroking the moms face and saying there there when she's in tears, is plain callous sorry, and
---------- Post added at 17:41 ---------- Previous post was at 17:37 ----------
Doesn't matter moms crying as dads fetching me I meant to add , not normal behaviour infact it was creepy as
Saying there there is a nice thing. He's a child he's obviously heard someone else say that before. How is saying there there callous?
Doesn't matter moms crying as dads fetching me I meant to add , not normal behaviour infact it was creepy as
The last part about dads fetching me he could have meant anything by that but it just come out wrong, kids say all sorts that doesn't make sense and they'll say things at the wrong time. Does your partner know how you feel?
I think children can be 'weird', I think to a certain extent that would be pretty normal. I'm not sure if I think this child's behaviour is callous as I suppose it depends on what way his parents pet him up when he cries, if they find it hard to show emotion then it's possible he may. But I do agree some children can be callous though.
As for the child preferring the parent that spoils them, that's very common. The same goes for them favouring the parent that does the least disciplining.
---------- Post added at 17:50 ---------- Previous post was at 17:49 ----------
Does his behaviour concern your partner?
Saying there there "IT DOESNT MATTER MOMMY IS CRYING BECAUSE DADDY IS PICKING ME UP!!" Is strange behaviour sorry and stroking her face for Christ's sake guys get a grip, I was asking for advice as I find his behaviour disturbing telling me he went into the woods and stabbed a deer's eyes out asking me if were going to cut things heads off, is not normal behaviour but I am yet to see him harm a fly, also when he speaks to his mom he just has no feelings, I've put this on a forum as I class my daughter as normal behaviour she would cry if I was crying, she says she loves me without me prompting her20 times
---------- Post added at 17:52 ---------- Previous post was at 17:51 ----------
Keekee yes it now is
Ohwell you obviously know this child more than all of us, I'm sure he's displayed more 'strange' behaviour for you to actually post about it, but what you wrote doesn't seem that bad. Stroking his mother's head saying there there sounds to me like something he's learned from somebody else. I imagine some parents would act that way with an upset child and perhaps he's just repeating what he's saw previously.
My daughter wouldn't cry if I cried. When she was a very small girl I had PND and quite often cried in front of her. This probably made her think crying was normal. Which it is. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking crying is taboo. She also doesn't ever say I love you unless we say it first. I honestly don't see the harm in that my daughter is also entirely normal. I'm not disputing your partner son has issues, but not all children act in the same way and not saying I love you isn't a big deal at all.
---------- Post added at 17:58 ---------- Previous post was at 17:56 ----------
If it also concerns his Mother then I guess there could be a problem. I think it's upto her and his Dad to sort it out before things get out of hand.
As for the Deer eye things, I think that is very worrying and he is obviously getting ideas from somewhere. Be it TV, overhead conversations or video games.
Excuse me but you didn't include that stuff in your opening posts, I don't need to 'get a grip' quite frankly I think you have negative feelings towards a child and that should be discussed with your partner. You asked for opinions and based on what you said I disagreed that it sounded like this child was a 'sociapath'.
---------- Post added at 18:33 ---------- Previous post was at 18:00 ----------
I'm sorry if you took my answers the wrong way, but where I'm from saying 'there there' and stroking someone's face is a nice thing mainly used by parents to comfort their children.
As for the animal stuff, he may be hearing this from somewhere does anybody In the family or his dad go hunting/fishing? Just a thought, usually these things are harmless as the child's just overheard something.
Otherwise if it's a common thing maybe his mum should ask him why he has said that and where he has heard it?
Sounds like you're just interpreting things differently than others. If he were acting out some of those statements it would be different.
Positive thoughts
Have a word with his mum.
I'm not asking the kid to cry every time his mom does I'm saying this kid has no feelings whatsoever , like I said his behaviour disturbs me i find him not naughty but callous but then we'll have a few weeks of ok behaviour from him this is a mental health forum tbf, this is why I've asked, when he FaceTime's his mom from his dads he does not give two hoots
I'm not asking the kid to cry every time his mom does I'm saying this kid has no feelings whatsoever , like I said his behaviour disturbs me i find him not naughty but callous but then we'll have a few weeks of ok behaviour from him this is a mental health forum tbf, this is why I've asked, when he FaceTime's his mom from his dads he does not give two hoots
Then perhaps his Dad has a lot to answer for then? How does he respond when speaking to his Dad? Does he show love and gratitude towards him? Maybe his dad is bad mouthing his Mother.
There could be many reasons why a child of 6 doesn't show much emotion. Some kids just don't at that age, but then there could be contributing factors from his childhood?
Doesn't sound like you like him very much?
His reading and writing skills are shambolic
Also just to note from your first post, this is not the child's fault. Has he been helped properly at home or is he having issues at school maybe?
You say when he face times from his dad's house he doesn't give a hoot, but what is it you'd expect a 6 year old boy to do? Maybe he's having fun and feels no need to show emotion. I think the things you are saying(apart from the deer thing) seem like nothing at all to me, obviously we don't know the child so it's just purely based on what you've said.
Could it be possible the child has learning difficulties?
Could it be possible the child has learning difficulties?
Yeah I was going to ask that too x
It's all speculation and no one can even venture a guess. If the OP is that concerned, perhaps a chat with Mom and Dad would be in order.
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
22-08-16, 03:49
That's quite a complex thing to ask, especially in children. Have you considered consulting children's charities? Or a GP?
The best place to start will be with the mum. Asking the dad might be tricky in a family situation like this unless you have a fantastic relationship with him.
He hasn't got learning difficulties he's very smart when it suits him, he can work his iPad and x box no probs, I don't dislike him we are on holiday now getting on fine but when he does do something I find it borderline weird/, hell also happily go to the toilet and pull his trousers down in front of everyone of any age he'll also walk straight through the bathroom if anyone is on the toilet , all these little things add up to me that he sees people as objects.....i live on a boat btw so the bathroom is between living room and bedroom
Are you concerned he may be on the autistic spectrum?
Shazamataz
22-08-16, 10:04
Personally I think a child CAN be a sociopath. If there are adult sociopaths they must have been children once.
However, I don't think anyone here can tell you what issue this child may have, if any, as we are not qualified and don't have enough information anyway.
Children can be calculating, callous, manipulative or whatever but I expect they've learned it from somewhere.
As Pulisa said, maybe he's on the Autistic spectrum? If so I expect he would benefit from being checked out and getting things in place to help him if this is the case.
Learning difficulties can also present in many different ways.
If he's 6 and presumably at school I would have expected that someone would have picked up on any potential issues. It's really something his Mum and Dad have to address if they are concerned in any way. I'd tread very warily on this one.
MyNameIsTerry
22-08-16, 12:39
Personally I think a child CAN be a sociopath. If there are adult sociopaths they must have been children once.
However, I don't think anyone here can tell you what issue this child may have, if any, as we are not qualified and don't have enough information anyway.
Children can be calculating, callous, manipulative or whatever but I expect they've learned it from somewhere.
As Pulisa said, maybe he's on the Autistic spectrum? If so I expect he would benefit from being checked out and getting things in place to help him if this is the case.
From a diagnostic point of view, it's not in the ICD-10 by WHO. So, I suspect this is a term like "psychopath" which is a legal term, not a medical one. Either that or it's just an old definition from olden times that only features in dictionaries and the media as medicine has moved on due to greater understanding e.g. there is a form of personality disorder that would easily be seen this way.
If he's 6 and presumably at school I would have expected that someone would have picked up on any potential issues. It's really something his Mum and Dad have to address if they are concerned in any way. I'd tread very warily on this one.
That was my thought as well. If the OP is that concerned, speak to the parent, otherwise, since they're not related, just butt out.
Positive thoughts
Something's he does he does in front of my daughter which is why I'm interfering, and like I said I put this post more for peoples opinions as I've dealt with loads of children in a previous job I had but never came across Many where there behaviour is I believe callous but not naughty to bk it up
How old is your daughter?
I have a 9 year old girl and I wouldn't be happy if I felt another child was acting strangely in front of her. The best advice I can give is to speak with his parents.
She's 8, he also does nothing but go on about his dad to his mom, which you may find nice but it can be a bit overwhelming for her when your on the way to do nice things with him and he's figuring out when he'll be reunited with his dad who has only just dropped him off, he also anagrams his dads name and tells people it's his name these things may sound cute but when your in the scenario they all add up to be a bit weird I'm afraid, we obviously have a huge materialistic issue on the dads side especially his mom ie nan
He will eventually grow out of the materialistic issue though ohwell and realise he was 'bought'. Some parents give in to their children for an easy life but it backfires once they get older.
As for the other issues I'm not really sure what you could do. You have every right to be angry if it could potentially affect your own child and her behaviour though.
Not to be insensitive as I don't know the situation, but is his Mam 'soft' with him? If my daughter kept going on and on about her Dad that way I'd tell her straight to stop it.
Even young children know how to manipulate and by bragging about his Dad he may be trying to get his Mam to also spoil him.
I'm no expert of course. Just my opinion
MyNameIsTerry
25-08-16, 06:05
Fair enough with your daughter being involved but it's definitely something to discuss with his mum or the dad may get involved feeling you are overstepping the mark if things are strained already.
It sounds like he loves his dad because he sees him in short bursts, gets treats and comes home - back to reality - where mum shouts at him and disciplines him, all naturally, and comes to the conclusion that life with dad is better.
But what is the dad like? Have there been issues with mum? If so, could he be influencing his son in the classic manner that some people use children as weapons for?
Sorry guys was away, the dad has the children a huge amount of time at least 3-4 days a week as the mom works full time, and when there bk with her he FaceTime's the kids for at least an hour at a time with huge gaps in the chat (weird again imho from the dad) , he's a very pleasant guy but I feel I can suss people out and deep down I think him and his own mom think the kids are there's and my partner is,more like the babysitter imho,...just to confirm my partner has stopped all that in the last 5 days she has also politely had her phone bk within a few mins of FaceTime also the dad this is her time with them and if he texts unimportantly she doesn't reply for a while much like my ex doesn't reply to me instantly, and the two children haven't mentioned DAD once or done any weird behaviour......RESULT
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