View Full Version : So upset with myself I need help
My anxiety was so bad this morning getting ready for work, I tried to just push through even though my heart was in my mouth and I was shaking doing my make up, I managed to get out and was walking to the bus stop it felt like everything was closing in around me, heart basically felt like it was vibrating, felt like I was going to be sick and tears were coming down my face I just broke down :weep:
I ended up rushing home in a state and had my partner call in work for me, I know i shouldn't be I was in no state to do it myself he just said I was sick and couldn't physically call. Now I have the stress that I'm going to lose this job on top of feeling like a pathetic idiot :weep:
I just don't get it, I do everything else in my life fine, I don't like to go out in public that much even the shop I dread but it's never bad like that I can always do it, why is going to work such a horror for me we can't afford for me to be out if work and I feel like I'm just ruining everything and i don't know why.
Another lady kicking themselves today, must be something in the water!
Katie, a panic attack - and that's what it was - is truly awful, For whatever reason, yours is work so identifying that already will help. Maybe you feel under so much pressure, the PA is the result? You tried to go and did your very best, please be kind to yourself. Remember that just because it happened today, it may not happen tomorrow. Is it a job you dislike, or maybe there are issues with fellow workers?
Another lady kicking themselves today, must be something in the water!
Katie, a panic attack - and that's what it was - is truly awful, For whatever reason, yours is work so identifying that already will help. Maybe you feel under so much pressure, the PA is the result? You tried to go and did your very best, please be kind to yourself. Remember that just because it happened today, it may not happen tomorrow. Is it a job you dislike, or maybe there are issues with fellow workers?
Thanks Mercime.
I do feel under a lot of pressure, to get back on my feet and be 'normal'. As we are not in a fortunate position where i can afford to be out of work, i feel like it's all on me, if we want the holiday, the nice things and no stress i better sort myself out. My partner never puts this stress on me though.
It's a new job i only started last week, the people seem very nice, it's a bit overwhelming mainly due to being out of work for so long, but other than that it's too early for any negatives so i really don't understand the panic before work.
Because it's new and you are frightened of not being able to cope/stick with the job? You have put a lot of pressure on yourself.
Don't be too hard on yourself and tomorrow will be a different day. Have a relaxing afternoon and give a wide berth to "certain" threads-that won't help your anxiety either!!
Because it's new and you are frightened of not being able to cope/stick with the job? You have put a lot of pressure on yourself.
Don't be too hard on yourself and tomorrow will be a different day. Have a relaxing afternoon and give a wide berth to "certain" threads-that won't help your anxiety either!!
Thank you Pulisa i think you're right there.
I definitely am frightened, what happened this morning is done and instead of spending all day going over it i do need to relax.
If only we were all good at that :D
sorry to hear that katie. I had one yesterday about nothing in particular just got more and more anxious all day.
I always feel like ive failed everytime panic gets me too. you havent though. at least you tried and you can try again. you can always try again.
sorry to hear that katie. I had one yesterday about nothing in particular just got more and more anxious all day.
I always feel like ive failed everytime panic gets me too. you havent though. at least you tried and you can try again. you can always try again.
Thank you these are the things i need to tell myself, instead of beating myself up about it.
I am sorry too Katie, I felt like the same today. yesterday fine ,planned for today but it has not happened. Tomorrow is another day so I hope both of us feel better to face whatever comes. take care:hugs:
I am sorry too Katie, I felt like the same today. yesterday fine ,planned for today but it has not happened. Tomorrow is another day so I hope both of us feel better to face whatever comes. take care:hugs:
Thank you, you too :hugs:
Sunflower2
22-08-16, 15:25
KatiePink, I know exactly how the feeling of dread comes over you before work. I had this for ages and it was awful, I would wake up fine and as it got closer to the time that I had to leave for work I would get worked up and teary, then shake and not able to leave the house to drive myself to work. For me it was because of the driving and knowing id be away from home all day, but the reasons aren't the problem but how we react to them.
I was fortunate that my boss knew about anxiety and how bad it can make you feel so although I was often an hour or so late and looked a state for a few hours, they just gave me space and slowly I got better. I haven't been late to work because of anxiety in over a year now and now I'm even getting in early and sometimes staying late!
I also put a lot of pressure on myself as o thought I was being ridiculous. It really is something that you just need to do over and over again, getting coping mechanisms and trying again when you feel like utter rubbish one day. The feeling always passes, even at my worst after an hour or so I calmed down enough to be able to get to work and feel relatively OK by the end of the day. It's not nice I know but you can get through it! :)
Katie, please don't be hard on yourself. I am guessing many of us have been there and are still there ourselves.
Panic overwhelms us, and no more so when we have a big and significant life change or a change in our daily routine, such as your new job. Today was a tough day for you, but that doesn't at all mean that you have failed in some way or other days won't be more manageable.
Trust me when I assure you that I have been where you are. Many years ago when I was still nursing, I had a massive panic at work and passed out. I was sent home. When I was next due in to work, I was getting ready in the morning, had the shower, uniform on, breakfast, etc. and just as I was ready to leave I had another huge panic attack that left me on my knees, hyperventilating and crying. My Dad had to call in sick for me. I think the sheer thought of going in and possibly panicking again, panicked me......ludicrous and frustrating.
As mentioned already, I think that possibly mentally you have placed a lot of pressure of yourself and feel responsible for an income, etc.....that isn't fair on you, and if you are anxious, you are anxious hun. All you can do is what you can manage, and if you can't then so be it....there will be other days and better days.
Anxiety is a rollercoaster. We have ups and we have downs but also the level periods in between that remind us that we can get over those glitches, like we have before!
Take care and big hugs to you. xx:hugs:
KatiePink, I know exactly how the feeling of dread comes over you before work. I had this for ages and it was awful, I would wake up fine and as it got closer to the time that I had to leave for work I would get worked up and teary, then shake and not able to leave the house to drive myself to work. For me it was because of the driving and knowing id be away from home all day, but the reasons aren't the problem but how we react to them.
I was fortunate that my boss knew about anxiety and how bad it can make you feel so although I was often an hour or so late and looked a state for a few hours, they just gave me space and slowly I got better. I haven't been late to work because of anxiety in over a year now and now I'm even getting in early and sometimes staying late!
I also put a lot of pressure on myself as o thought I was being ridiculous. It really is something that you just need to do over and over again, getting coping mechanisms and trying again when you feel like utter rubbish one day. The feeling always passes, even at my worst after an hour or so I calmed down enough to be able to get to work and feel relatively OK by the end of the day. It's not nice I know but you can get through it! :)
Thank you, the knowing i'll be away from home all day is a big thing, as soon as i got in and shut the door behind me i just never wanted to open it again, really scary. I am lucky i have a supportive partner but i feel like there's only so much longer this can go on for, and by thinking that i'm just making myself worse with the pressure.
It's nice to know that you're in a better place now, it gives me hope! X
---------- Post added at 15:32 ---------- Previous post was at 15:31 ----------
Katie, please don't be hard on yourself. I am guessing many of us have been there and are still there ourselves.
Panic overwhelms us, and no more so when we have a big and significant life change or a change in our daily routine, such as your new job. Today was a tough day for you, but that doesn't at all mean that you have failed in some way or other days won't be more manageable.
Trust me when I assure you that I have been where you are. Many years ago when I was still nursing, I had a massive panic at work and passed out. I was sent home. When I was next due in to work, I was getting ready in the morning, had the shower, uniform on, breakfast, etc. and just as I was ready to leave I had another huge panic attack that left me on my knees, hyperventilating and crying. My Dad had to call in sick for me. I think the sheer thought of going in and possibly panicking again, panicked me......ludicrous and frustrating.
As mentioned already, I think that possibly mentally you have placed a lot of pressure of yourself and feel responsible for an income, etc.....that isn't fair on you, and if you are anxious, you are anxious hun. All you can do is what you can manage, and if you can't then so be it....there will be other days and better days.
Anxiety is a rollercoaster. We have ups and we have downs but also the level periods in between that remind us that we can get over those glitches, like we have before!
Take care and big hugs to you. xx:hugs:
Thank you Debs it sure is a rollercoaster, and it can be so lonely because to the rest of the world there's nothing wrong but inside it's all going on.
:hugs:
Thank you Debs it sure is a rollercoaster, and it can be so lonely because to the rest of the world there's nothing wrong but inside it's all going on. :hugs:
It sure can be lonely.
It is so hard to explain to others (especially those that have not experienced a mental health issue such as anxiety) just how it makes us feel and how hard it is to cope with. It is the age old problem that because people can't SEE what you have to contend with, they don't believe it or understand it. They think it is all drama.....but it isn't!
I'm lucky as my Dad (bless him) is a lifelong anxiety/panic sufferer, so I at least have his support and understanding, but it is very hard for sufferers who don't have others who can empathise. xxx:hugs::hugs:
Had a little breakdown and a good cry last night, they were definitely tears of frustration , so sick of having to feel this way and feeling like i've been punched in the stomach every morning grr :mad:
Everyday i have good intentions and feel like i can make changes, then the next morning anxiety pops up and just stops me in my tracks, i wish i could bottle up the feelings so people who don't understand can experience what you have to go through to do the simplest of things.
Anyway, i woke up today and i'm blessed so :yesyes: no more moaning!
Hope you're all well x
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.