Sabaken
23-08-16, 10:50
Hi, everyone:)
My name is Svetlana (Lana) and I don't think I have any anxiety problems, but my girlfriend does.
She is an unbelievably amazing creature, who has to deal with social anxiety. As far as I know she is not getting panic attacks anymore, but had a couple in the past. It is was hard for me at first to understand what is going on. For example, there was a time I asked her what she thought a certain thing is pronounced and she won't be able to answer, she just got "stuck"... Later she explained to me, that was anxiety and this is what it's like. Not just "bad thoughts", it is a real thing that causes real problems. It is also difficult for her to express her emotions sometimes, and I have to guess why is she upset, is she upset at all, etc.
Unfortunately, I am a total dummy when it comes to all the mental health problems and can be insensitive (by accident). The way I was raised in Russia even physical health used to be treated by "suck it up, girl" :doh: So anxiety is something I've never faced before. And I think several articles that I googled didn't do the job properly.
So far I know how to calm her down if something I asked/asking her to do makes her feel anxious (which is to change the topic immediately), I also know what things make her feel calmer and know that if she doesn't want to go clubbing, it is not because she hates music, it is because she gets anxious in such social gatherings.
I am here mostly to learn from you, guys. I love my girlfriend and I want her to have that safe place, that she is lacking with me. I want to learn how to create that safe space, how to make her feel better around me, and mostly how to stop being a dumbass (sorry for the word) when it comes to dealing with anxiety problems.
Thank you for reading this <3
My name is Svetlana (Lana) and I don't think I have any anxiety problems, but my girlfriend does.
She is an unbelievably amazing creature, who has to deal with social anxiety. As far as I know she is not getting panic attacks anymore, but had a couple in the past. It is was hard for me at first to understand what is going on. For example, there was a time I asked her what she thought a certain thing is pronounced and she won't be able to answer, she just got "stuck"... Later she explained to me, that was anxiety and this is what it's like. Not just "bad thoughts", it is a real thing that causes real problems. It is also difficult for her to express her emotions sometimes, and I have to guess why is she upset, is she upset at all, etc.
Unfortunately, I am a total dummy when it comes to all the mental health problems and can be insensitive (by accident). The way I was raised in Russia even physical health used to be treated by "suck it up, girl" :doh: So anxiety is something I've never faced before. And I think several articles that I googled didn't do the job properly.
So far I know how to calm her down if something I asked/asking her to do makes her feel anxious (which is to change the topic immediately), I also know what things make her feel calmer and know that if she doesn't want to go clubbing, it is not because she hates music, it is because she gets anxious in such social gatherings.
I am here mostly to learn from you, guys. I love my girlfriend and I want her to have that safe place, that she is lacking with me. I want to learn how to create that safe space, how to make her feel better around me, and mostly how to stop being a dumbass (sorry for the word) when it comes to dealing with anxiety problems.
Thank you for reading this <3