View Full Version : ANOTHER cancer!! going Mad
lscmichelle
24-08-16, 01:27
its me again, for the past few days i have diagnosed myself with eye cancer and skin melanoma and have been very extremely anxious and depressed. This morning when i woke up i randomly pressed under my armpits just to make sure everything's fine (i dont usually do that, my anxiety triggered me to check every body part.)
AND i felt two little bumps under my left armpit, they are the like the size of a pimple and when i press on it, it is a bit painful (feels like when i press on a pimple) !!! I AM PRETTY SURE THIS IS LYMPHOMA, I heard lymphoma has one of the highest incidence rate with people under age 19 (and i am 19 yes) ... I am terrified right now and seriously need someone to calm me down but no one is around and i am out of breath.
I never thought i will have lymphoma, and it has probably spread elsewhere eg. to the brain and eye etc.. I don't know how long these 2 little small bumps have been here, maybe i have stage 4 lymphoma?????? How long will i have till i die?? I can't breathe and feel faint now.
Darling heart, if it looks like a pimple... Feels like a pimple, chances are it's a pimple!! Relax
Firstly - calm down! If there is 1 thing I have learnt from health anxiety is to stop prodding and poking! Why are you feeling your armpit? That's not normal behaviour. In my time I have prodded and poker body parts I didn't even know I existed lol! If you go searching for something you're always going to find something and misinterpret it. I once prodded my ear so much that j caused swelling, and because it swelled I thought I had a disease - but I caused it! I'm sure your arm pit is just fine, leave it alone for a couple of days and stop dwelling on it. If you had advanced cancer you would certainly not be well enough to post on this forum. SMILE :)
Darling heart, if it looks like a pimple... Feels like a pimple, chances are it's a pimple!! Relax
Agree with this. Or a razor bump/ingrown hair.
lscmichelle
24-08-16, 01:44
Firstly - calm down! If there is 1 thing I have learnt from health anxiety is to stop prodding and poking! Why are you feeling your armpit? That's not normal behaviour. In my time I have prodded and poker body parts I didn't even know I existed lol! If you go searching for something you're always going to find something and misinterpret it. I once prodded my ear so much that j caused swelling, and because it swelled I thought I had a disease - but I caused it! I'm sure your arm pit is just fine, leave it alone for a couple of days and stop dwelling on it. If you had advanced cancer you would certainly not be well enough to post on this forum. SMILE :)
It's the possibility that scares the sh^t out of me. I always think about the "what ifs" and i dont think i can enjoy life anymore with the thought of having several cancer that have spreaded already - im so tired and sick of this. I heard teenagers normally get misdiagnosed and then its stage 4 when they finally get the correct diagnosis and it scares me so much. Why would I have these weird physical symptoms if my body is working well? Why can't i be like any normal teenagers? I thought I was healthy all along.. or so i thought.. i dont even know anymore. Do i have to run to the A&E to get checked for these 2 small bumps under my armpit??? my parents might think im insane.. i'm probably am, i've had enough.
I definitely would talk with your parents but not about a pimple! Perhaps you can show them a thread or two you've posted and ask them for help.
Positive thoughts
You really need to take a step back and think about what is happening. You have woken up and purposely checked your arm pits. Health anxiety sufferers only do that to check for any changes or abnormalities. This is an area with a lot of tissue, skin, cartridge etc. It may be an ingrown hair, a spot under the skin, a simple swollen lymph node if you've got a cold or minor infection, or (most likely) it's a normal part of your anatomy which you have simply noticed because you are feeling for things! The armpit isn't perfectly smooth and if you search long enough you're going to find things that feel odd. Just divert your attention for a while. Give it a few days And maybe check back on them to see if they get bigger or you have pain. But I am sure, and I think you will know deep down in your heart that you are just being hypersensitive. Please smile :)
Sorry to ask but, did you look up Lymphoma when I put it in my post? That was a biiit of a bad idea. I thought my neckbone was Lymphoma and I only had one swollen lymph node, doc said it felt normal. If it were Lymphoma, you wouldn't feel a thing even if you touched it. Sorry if I spawned this fear. :weep:
I think all the added hysterics, all capped words and exclamation points are a bit much to be honest. You said they feel like pimples then instantly jumped to "OMFG ITS STAGE 4 CANCER, I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!"
You're just in a spiral of anxiety right now and because of this you're noticing every lump, bump and twinge.
Lymphoma's aren't like pimples, they're like cancerous tumours. They don't hurt to touch for one. In fact, I'll bet that these bumps are nothing more than normal everyday lymph nodes that have been there your whole life. Only reason you're picking up on them now is because you're anxious about your health and self scanning.
lscmichelle
24-08-16, 02:34
Sorry to ask but, did you look up Lymphoma when I put it in my post? That was a biiit of a bad idea. I thought my neckbone was Lymphoma and I only had one swollen lymph node, doc said it felt normal. If it were Lymphoma, you wouldn't feel a thing even if you touched it. Sorry if I spawned this fear. :weep:
Ah.. It's not really your fault, i have always been worrying about all kinds of cancer and lymphoma is just one of them... It came up in my mind suddenly this morning so I tried pressing on my armpit areas. Literally couldn't believe I felt 2 small bumps. I freaked so bad. Also I thought you will feel pain if you press on it??? Mine does hurt a bit when i press on it, the pain feels like when u press on a pimple (not sure if you have tried that before.)
Maybe an ingrown hair, i have gotten those before.
lscmichelle
24-08-16, 02:56
You really need to take a step back and think about what is happening. You have woken up and purposely checked your arm pits. Health anxiety sufferers only do that to check for any changes or abnormalities. This is an area with a lot of tissue, skin, cartridge etc. It may be an ingrown hair, a spot under the skin, a simple swollen lymph node if you've got a cold or minor infection, or (most likely) it's a normal part of your anatomy which you have simply noticed because you are feeling for things! The armpit isn't perfectly smooth and if you search long enough you're going to find things that feel odd. Just divert your attention for a while. Give it a few days And maybe check back on them to see if they get bigger or you have pain. But I am sure, and I think you will know deep down in your heart that you are just being hypersensitive. Please smile :)
thank you for the reply... part of my mind tells me I am too young to have so many cancers at one time, and my immune system is very strong (lymphoma patients usually have weaker immune system i've read..) and my parents are both healthy... But there is always a WHAT IF in my head that ruins my life, I always thought if I don't get it tested for cancer I will regret in the future, it will spread or it already has spread.... why does it sound so convincing to me that its happening to me?? Literally going insane, my mind is dashing 10000km a second right now.
---------- Post added at 02:56 ---------- Previous post was at 02:52 ----------
im so tempted to search about armpit lumps or lymphoma on google... trying SO HARD to stop myself from googling..... but at the same time I am very worried and just unsure about everything, but am more scared if the symptoms are the same as mine. What should I do ???
thecyberpractitioner
24-08-16, 03:02
Hello,
I'd just like to share you with my experience of lumps and bumps as it may help.
I had really bad health anxiety for a long period of time, and one of the main focuses was on lumps. I had lumps on my neck, above my collar bone, near my trapezius muscle, in my jaw line. All over the place. Naturally being a HA sufferer I consulted my usual Google Surgery, and, you guessed it, I had lymphoma. So I decided to go to the GP. Once I got there, I sat down, explained the lumps and he gave me a thorough looking over. I then got referred to the ENT specialist at a local hospital, I was panicking like you wouldn't believe. I saw the specialist, he had a feel, wasnt particularly worried but said as I was anxious he would give me an ultrasound scan to double check.
I went to the room next door, and had the scan. The result? Yes they were all lymph nodes. Every single one of them, but they were all healthy and reactive. The doctor very kindly explained what she was looking for and highlighted the reasons as to why these lymph nodes were not dangerous. Low and behold, after my 5th or 6th cancer self diagnosis, I once again did not have cancer.
The point I am trying to make, is that health anxiety sufferers, and indeed people who do not suffer from it, are nervous about lumps and bumps in our bodies. Especially if you can feel them in the "red flag" areas we hear about on the television or read about on the internet. But, lets be realistic here, just because Lymphoma is more prevelant in young people, definitley does not mean that it is common, or that you have it. It is too easy for us to hone in on the negative information online rather than being realistic about the whole situation because we are far too involved in it. According to information on the internet and my own "diagnosis" I had all the signs of it, and in reality I didn't.
My doctor has also told me that Lymphoma lumps are not little, they are of a decent size. If I were you I'd try your best to leave them alone, and give them a fortnight (if they are tiny pimple like as you described, two weeks is not going to harm, and your doctor would probably tell you to go away and come back in a few weeks anyway to see if they have got bigger). I think you'll find that they're spots and they'll simply go away. If you can't wait two weeks, why not get some spot cream and try that on them to see if you can speed up the process? It can only ease your anxiety.
If you (or anyone worried) want to know more about my individual experience with Lymphoma scares then PM me and I'll try to help the best I can. Just try to enjoy life, I have been so much better recently and I can tell you, life is great when you kick the arse out of health anxiety and leave it in the past.
All the best.
tcp.
lscmichelle
24-08-16, 03:21
Hello,
If you (or anyone worried) want to know more about my individual experience with Lymphoma scares then PM me and I'll try to help the best I can. Just try to enjoy life, I have been so much better recently and I can tell you, life is great when you kick the arse out of health anxiety and leave it in the past.
All the best.
tcp.
Hello,
If you (or anyone worried) want to know more about my individual experience with Lymphoma scares then PM me and I'll try to help the best I can. Just try to enjoy life, I have been so much better recently and I can tell you, life is great when you kick the arse out of health anxiety and leave it in the past.
All the best.
tcp.
Thank you SO MUCH for your long reply, it made me feel better but I still feel unsure and am extremely anxious. I don't know what a lymphoma lump under an armpit feels or look like thats why i am scared to death. I can't stop searching about lymphoma statistics in my country, though i don't even know why am I doing this. I have been worrying about 4 cancers (eye, brain, skin and now lymphoma) I have been worrying for every single second for the past 2 months, I feel pity about myself because I have to live life this way.
Do you mind if I PM you about this? I really need someone to talk to right now as I am nearly out of breath. ( if you are not ready to go to bed, its late in the UK)
Lymphoma nodes are completely painless, even when touched. And they are usually the size of golf balls. I went through the same fear, trust me your fine. Lymphoma is by far one of the most treatable cancers anyway, I'd work on anxiety rather than something you don't have though. Try keeping yourself busy till you can talk to a doc about anxiety, I've been binging games to keep myself busy and got an appointment in two months for it. Good luck!
lscmichelle
24-08-16, 03:52
Lymphoma nodes are completely painless, even when touched. And they are usually the size of golf balls. I went through the same fear, trust me your fine. Lymphoma is by far one of the most treatable cancers anyway, I'd work on anxiety rather than something you don't have though. Try keeping yourself busy till you can talk to a doc about anxiety, I've been binging games to keep myself busy and got an appointment in two months for it. Good luck!
You sure? That makes me feel a lil bit more relieved. My worry is that they wont grow to the size of golf balls in a short period of time and what if this is the beginning stage of it?? There are just too much WHAT IFs in my head and i can't relax.
Lymph nodes never stop growing with lymphoma, it's perfectly normal to feel lymph nodes in general. Only reason I was scared of Lymphoma is because I smoked cigarettes and pot from 6th grade to 9th, chances of you having Lymphoma is VERY slim. Got advice in my Lymphoma post and I found enjoyment playing with the nodes instead, don't worry about it it's definitely a pimple, boil, etc. Lymph nodes, ESPECIALLY cancerous ones are very easily distinguished from normal nodes or even pimples or boils, nodes often swell actually in response to pimples or boils. You'll be fine, trust me. I'm still recovering from my fear, it's hard to shrug off but anxiety creates symptoms in its own. Anxiety can be another cause for swollen nodes, actually! Along with dizziness and all that. Good thing about Lymphoma at our age, even if we DID have it, Hodgkin's Lymphoma is the crook in that case and over a good 90% cure rate for that one. Lymphoma causes obvious ill symptoms in it's late stages, all of which you describe don't match up to Hodgkin's and all said seems to tie more into what most of us here suffer of, anxiety. Anxiety makes it hard to distinguish reality from the illusions created by our own mind, but those illusions can only really be sought past by others and only until we create new ones. To sum it up, anxiety is a tough burden on all of us. We're all here for you, you don't have Lymphoma, try to embrace your healthy body and find ways to relax. You deserve it, good luck!
It's the possibility that scares the sh^t out of me. I always think about the "what ifs" and i dont think i can enjoy life anymore with the thought of having several cancer that have spreaded already - im so tired and sick of this. I heard teenagers normally get misdiagnosed and then its stage 4 when they finally get the correct diagnosis and it scares me so much. Why would I have these weird physical symptoms if my body is working well? Why can't i be like any normal teenagers? I thought I was healthy all along.. or so i thought.. i dont even know anymore. Do i have to run to the A&E to get checked for these 2 small bumps under my armpit??? my parents might think im insane.. i'm probably am, i've had enough.It's the possibility that scares the sh^t out of me. I always think about the "what ifs" and i dont think i can enjoy life anymore with the thought of having several cancer that have spreaded already - im so tired and sick of this. I heard teenagers normally get misdiagnosed and then its stage 4 when they finally get the correct diagnosis and it scares me so much. Why would I have these weird physical symptoms if my body is working well? Why can't i be like any normal teenagers? I thought I was healthy all along.. or so i thought.. i dont even know anymore. Do i have to run to the A&E to get checked for these 2 small bumps under my armpit??? my parents might think im insane.. i'm probably am, i've had enough.
You need to take a deep breath and bring yourself to the present moment. Thinking about 'what ifs' is part of anxiety. Saying you can't enjoy life anymore, isn't because of any 'symptoms' you think you have, it's because of anxiety. Some cancer patients can still enjoy life! And let's not forget those who beat cancer. You speak with a very negative outlook and have already written yourself of.
You won't enjoy life at all when anxiety has took over you like this, so addressing it is something you need to focus all your attention on. Take a look at this site, the sheer amount of posts from people CONVINCED they had cancer. You are just another one of those people suffering from anxiety.
For change to happen you need to make changes, by starting with a plan of how you are going to tackle this anxiety and self checking. It's no way to live. Only you can get yourself better, but you should reach out to those around you for support.
Good luck
Health anxiety sufferer!
lscmichelle
24-08-16, 07:30
Lymph nodes never stop growing with lymphoma, it's perfectly normal to feel lymph nodes in general. Only reason I was scared of Lymphoma is because I smoked cigarettes and pot from 6th grade to 9th, chances of you having Lymphoma is VERY slim. Got advice in my Lymphoma post and I found enjoyment playing with the nodes instead, don't worry about it it's definitely a pimple, boil, etc. Lymph nodes, ESPECIALLY cancerous ones are very easily distinguished from normal nodes or even pimples or boils, nodes often swell actually in response to pimples or boils. You'll be fine, trust me. I'm still recovering from my fear, it's hard to shrug off but anxiety creates symptoms in its own. Anxiety can be another cause for swollen nodes, actually! Along with dizziness and all that. Good thing about Lymphoma at our age, even if we DID have it, Hodgkin's Lymphoma is the crook in that case and over a good 90% cure rate for that one. Lymphoma causes obvious ill symptoms in it's late stages, all of which you describe don't match up to Hodgkin's and all said seems to tie more into what most of us here suffer of, anxiety. Anxiety makes it hard to distinguish reality from the illusions created by our own mind, but those illusions can only really be sought past by others and only until we create new ones. To sum it up, anxiety is a tough burden on all of us. We're all here for you, you don't have Lymphoma, try to embrace your healthy body and find ways to relax. You deserve it, good luck!
Thank you so much for your encouragement, I hope you can overcome your anxiety too because its such a WASTE of the golden years in life (im almost 20) and the more I think about me wasting my time worrying, the WORRIER i get - i am born to worry and i can't find ways to control it which is really a shame.
Just curious, have you overcome HA yet? I feel like I will never be able to escape from this black hole and I suffer everyday and always picture myself dying from terminal illnesses, despite many people reassuring me that the chances are slim. I have always been an anxious person, i have meltdown before exams or piano competitions or presentations infront of small classes. but HA is the worst anxiety that I have ever experienced and I am quite positive that it will affect me for the rest of my life and no one can do anything about it :unsure:
---------- Post added at 07:26 ---------- Previous post was at 07:22 ----------
Lymph nodes never stop growing with lymphoma, it's perfectly normal to feel lymph nodes in general. Only reason I was scared of Lymphoma is because I smoked cigarettes and pot from 6th grade to 9th,
Also were you a heavy smoker? I have tried smoking for a couple of years too and i have a feeling it has damaged the lungs and I will definitely get lung cancer soon or when im older. See, I will never be able to stop worrying about cancer. I am also worried about my dad since he is a smoker himself for like 20 something years, really think he needs to quit but its hard i know. Not sure how to tell if cells are damaged in my lungs
---------- Post added at 07:30 ---------- Previous post was at 07:26 ----------
For change to happen you need to make changes, by starting with a plan of how you are going to tackle this anxiety and self checking. It's no way to live. Only you can get yourself better, but you should reach out to those around you for support.
Good luck
Health anxiety sufferer!
Very true, thank you. However it is EASIER SAID THAN DONE :( The worst part is I can't control what my mind wants to tell me, the more I tell myself to think positively, the more negative thoughts i get bombarded with. Its hard to explain, only us HA sufferers truly understands.
Easier said than done, but not impossible. You need to keep repeating positives even if you don't believe them.
I think you need to speak to your doctor about all this and look into therapy.
I was a very heavy smoker, 1g of pot every other week and maybe 3-4 sticks a night because I was pressured into that stuff, all clean now though. Lungs clear up fast though, and somewhat, I'm almost recovered from HA, it'll take time but we'll all recover eventually. Reassurance doesn't last forever with HA, but it helps going down the long road of recovery. Also lung cancer isn't something you should worry about yet, we're too young to have it let alone from even smoking. A bit won't increase your chances too much, so just stay away from those sticks.
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