S_Ah1
25-08-16, 00:47
Hi everyone,
First I'll like to start with a little background. I'm a 19 year old male student. Around early this year, I started to worry that I may be a pedophile. I've had many different obsessions over the year; I've been obsessed that I may have HIV or cancer, that I may be transgender, that I cheated my way to get to university, etc. Anyways, I've been really worried that I may be attracted to children. My rational mind tells me this is just OCD, but then the OCD makes it feel so real. I would try to see if fantasies/thoughts involving children would arouse me (they wouldn't), but now I feel really guilty about the fantasies (as if I had them for sexual gratification rather than OCD checking). I also did something that I feel really terrible about :weep: of course I'd never look at child porn as I know it's illegal and wrong, but I did put terms into google images such as "kids underwear" and things to that effect, to make sure that such images didn't arouse me. Now I'm really worried that this amounts to child porn (even though I think images of children modelling pants/swimsuits from commercial sources aren't considered pornographic). I'm convinced that I've done something very wrong and deserve to go to prison. has anyone had a similar experience? Any help would be much appreciated, thank you. :)
First I'll like to start with a little background. I'm a 19 year old male student. Around early this year, I started to worry that I may be a pedophile. I've had many different obsessions over the year; I've been obsessed that I may have HIV or cancer, that I may be transgender, that I cheated my way to get to university, etc. Anyways, I've been really worried that I may be attracted to children. My rational mind tells me this is just OCD, but then the OCD makes it feel so real. I would try to see if fantasies/thoughts involving children would arouse me (they wouldn't), but now I feel really guilty about the fantasies (as if I had them for sexual gratification rather than OCD checking). I also did something that I feel really terrible about :weep: of course I'd never look at child porn as I know it's illegal and wrong, but I did put terms into google images such as "kids underwear" and things to that effect, to make sure that such images didn't arouse me. Now I'm really worried that this amounts to child porn (even though I think images of children modelling pants/swimsuits from commercial sources aren't considered pornographic). I'm convinced that I've done something very wrong and deserve to go to prison. has anyone had a similar experience? Any help would be much appreciated, thank you. :)