Advice Needed Please

[dave01]

Hi does anyone else feel this way? i know that my anxiety has changed my personality i have become more reserved and everything seems to go inwards these days, to the point where i don't want to be bothered with most things and i avoid certain situations like having my family around.

my brothers are two very talkative people who can chat for ages about anything and everthing i am opposite to this and after a short period i get anxious when they are here and i feel i just want to get up and leave ( VERY DIFFICULT IF IT'S YOUR HOUSE) I am very quite and seem to run out of things to say easily and i feel uncomfortable and wish they would leave.

when i am at one of their houses it's not to bad as i have control and can leave whenever i wish. I feel very guilty about this situation which then in turn increases my anxiety, i love them both and would do anything to help them it's just this situation i have difficulty in dealing with. Does anyone else get this?
Thanx
Dave.

[Jaco45er]

Hi Dave

Its nothing to do with your personality, I am outgoing and confident (to the point were I can be a pain in the ***) but I get that feeling when ppl visit me. Not so much nowadays, but I used to find it hard work to keep a conversation up, and would just wish they would leave, family or friends.

I can go to other peoples houses and be a lot more relaxed, because as you say, we can leave when we want.

Its funny you mention this, as this and being away on holiday are probably my last 2 anxiety issues (well apart from the odd health anxiety drawback).

I wonder if its something to do with social anxiety? although that said I only get it when people visit me.

[sandie]

Hi Dave

Have you tried explaining how you feel to your friends and family? No doubt they love you as you love them and if you try to tell them (perhaps in a letter if you cannot do it face to face), I'm sure they would understand. Maybe you could agree a time limit to visits - and, as time goes by, extend the time limit by 5 minutes every so often, whenever you feel you are able to cope with longer and longer visits. If you ask them for their help in this way, they won't feel they are being alienated - rather the opposite, and I'm sure they would want to help.

Good luck

Sandie

[Melina]

Hi Dave

I have experienced this type of feeling several times, both with family members and also work colleagues, for me I think it is social anxiety. I have become alot quieter since experiencing social & general anxiety, although recently have been slowly building my confidence up again (with part time and a few hours volunteering work). A few months ago I was at the point where I could bearly speak in front of a group of peoople and actually felt (& still feel) intimated by confident, loud chatty people and try to avoid them. In terms of the family, I consider my boyfriends family to be my family (my mother passed away, my sister and I are not close and my father and I are not close and bearly speak) and they are all very chatty. I end up feeling very isolated when I am with them for too long and seem to fall more and more into my shell if I am with them for long periods of time.

Melina