Layers of anxiety, who am I anymore

[elik]

How on EARTH am I ever meant to be sure of myself when years of irrational anxious thoughts have led me so unsure of what I'm doing, saying, which thoughts are logical etc. Honestly it must be too late for me now, even the thought of all this makes me guilty and hopeless at the same time like I just need to maintain my robot exterior so as to not act on my anxious thought. I'm in a cycle of layers of anxiety. Layers upon layers and even if all the anxious thoughts disperse, I'm still left with the recurring trauma and uncertainty of how much it has controlled me and the fear of the future of my anxiety.. This is what I cannot shake no matter how many methods of practice I try.

[georgewing]

Maybe you are tired of this but y sugest you to never give up fighting .Nothing its imposibible in this world as people defeated hard desease like cancer etc .Stay pozitive and try to not think so much how anxiety affect you

[elik]

I just can't keep going like this.. For instance today I forced myself to relax a little then I noticed my anxiety and insecurity on auto pilot as I white lied a situation to a close friend but only realised about an hour later and ever since I have been in sweats panicking about what a horrible person I am and I have to keep tabs on myself because I don't want to be so insecure that I need to exaggerate things to be better. It just proves that I am so alone and twisted and it's my own fault. No doubt tomorrow I'll think I'm a victim and then he next day I'll find something else horrendous about myself but a situation like today is hard evidence that I'm someone I hate

[kingofnowhere]

Have you ever tried meditation? It brings you naturally to living in the present. You hear the words 'be present' a lot when learning. I once heard someone say that depression is dwelling on the past and anxiety, the future. This seemed to resonate with me.