Then it falls apart

[blindnsight]

Not sure why I'm on this board. I guess it's 330 in the am and I have no one to talk to. My wife decided to leave me today. I don't blame her. You can only hold out for so long with a person like me. It's actually impressive and a little sad she held on for 2 years of my shit. Our 2yo son was probably a major factor in that. Can't sleep..even though I only had about 3 hours of sleep in the last 29hours. It all started when she got pregnant I'm sure it was around before that but more under control at that time. Panic attacks started up and then the depression followed or maybe the other way around. It just really sucks to watch as something erodes everything you care about in your life. You can see and feel it but no control over stopping it. I'm going to get help. Not doing that is what started this mess so at least I can start somewhere. Maybe it's for the best.

[georgewing]

I am very sory for you and i am so angry that anxiety makes so much bad in people lives .I dont know if you have a therapist but you should try one if you dont have one .Also try meditation because it helpes the mind and body and makes you feel better .Also try to think all time positively and think only at what you want

[Mercime]

Not sure why I'm on this board. I guess it's 330 in the am and I have no one to talk to. My wife decided to leave me today. I don't blame her. You can only hold out for so long with a person like me. It's actually impressive and a little sad she held on for 2 years of my shit. Our 2yo son was probably a major factor in that. Can't sleep..even though I only had about 3 hours of sleep in the last 29hours. It all started when she got pregnant I'm sure it was around before that but more under control at that time. Panic attacks started up and then the depression followed or maybe the other way around. It just really sucks to watch as something erodes everything you care about in your life. You can see and feel it but no control over stopping it. I'm going to get help. Not doing that is what started this mess so at least I can start somewhere. Maybe it's for the best.

Starting somewhere is always for the best. I won't rattle on about positivity, because if someone says that when you feel really awful, it just makes you worse - but there are things you can do. Only from my personal point of view, look into mindfulness, it is helpful when you're in a bad depressive state and not up to making big plans. It's not psychobabble, which always helps in my opinion!
Look into starting some sort of therapy, if you can. I don't know how it works in the US and insurance wise, but hopefully you can access something, there are also online resources.

I'm genuinely sorry that your wife has left. I don't know the exact situation but maybe if she sees you are trying to change things it will help? I'm not one that talks about "recovery", I think for many depression and anxiety are lifelong and not something we can suddenly get over. But we can learn about it, learn how we can tackle it, so while it might always be around, it doesn't bother us too much - it can be far away in the background.
Panic attacks are part of it, and it's possible to almost eliminate them. It does take some hard work and courage, but the most important thing is a real desire to live without them - that has to transcend the fear of the panic.

Lastly - you're on this site because you need to talk. You can do that safely here. There is a wealth of help and knowledge, and you won't be alone.

So..welcome x

[lotusblossom]

I so feel for you this site is full of good advice and support use it often and you will be reassured

[dale12345]

I really hope this site helps you