New to this and need help

[Jhg84]

New to all this but really hoping I can gain something from it as I'm pretty much as low as I could be. Bit of background information - suffered with health anxiety on/off for many years but after a recent event it is back with avengance along with diagnosed PTSD. Following a termination 4 months ago my life has completely taken a turn for the worst. Having made the incredibly difficult decision to not continue with the pregnancy as my last pregnancy made me incredibly ill, I had the procedure done. During the procedure and after I bled very heavily and staff were unable to control the bleeding for a while. Being in the medical profession myself, I was all too aware of the risks and what was actually happening. Never being in such a position before and seeing the look on the staffs faces will be a memory I will never ever forget, nor the horrendous panic feeling I was haemorrhaging. Before I even went in for the procedure I alerted staff I was nervous about bleeding and with no reassurance was told not to worry. From this moment on, 4 months later, I live in constant fear of bleeding, constantly checking myself, paranoid and scared it will start and won't stop. I have also developed an irrational fear of menstruation, as any blood coming from there fills me with paralysing fear of which I feel I have no control. Every single day I wake up with high anxiety, cannot eat and have lost 2 1/2 stone due to this. I am under crisis team as have felt suicidal and as a mother to two boys I have hit rock bottom. Currently under the local community mental health team I am due to start CBT therapy but my mindset at the moment is that nothing will help how I'm feeling nor guarantee that I won't bleed again. I've had scans all were fine. Bloods, all fine. Yet this hasn't reassured me as when I'm not on my period I'm scared I'm going to start spotting randomly which in itself sends me crazy. Has anybody else been through a similar situation as my anxiety is through the roof and my life in ruins. The constant checking, waiting for something to happen is dreadful. Please can somebody help as these irrational fears are taking their toll.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Jhg84 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[fduop]

Jhg84, it breaks you heart to read that your feeling this way. I wish I could give some sound advice but I a man and honestly won't know where to start. But I have lived in fear of health situations. After my heart attack I lived in fear of having another one. What I try and do is be as proactive about my health as I can. But I more than understand how fear can make you think the worst. My best suggestion would be tell yourself the facts that your vitals are good and your doctor's are pleased with your recovery. Everytime I get a slight racy heart rate I have to remind myself that my last checkup was good and that no matter what, I have a team of professionals and family looking out for me. Jhg84, I hope these words help. Continue to use the site and don't be afraid to ask questions. Best to you and your family.

[hanshan]

Hi Jhg84,

I'm also a man, but can I say, you have healed inside, that is behind you. Any bleeding now is normal, including spotting. It comes from the uterine lining, not from blood vessels directly connected to your body's circulation.

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :)