UnhappyWorrier
27-08-16, 13:59
I've been suffering from health anxiety for about 5 years. When I was 18, I had convinced myself that I had HIV. Then a few months later I started experiencing shortness of breath, like the air couldn't reach my lungs. I went to the doctor, started taking some medication and it went away.
A year ago I was getting nauseous and feeling the urge to vomit almost every time I was away from the house. Went to the doctor again and surprise surprise, after a few weeks the constant nausea went away.
For the past year I was feeling absolutely fine. But now it came back again. I'm dizzy on and off again, feeling weak and unbalanced, on the verge of crying. I have been this way for about two weeks, but not constantly - when I'm relaxed or concentrated I don't feel any symptoms, only when I actually start thinking about them.
This caused me to start googling things and now I'm absolutely terrified. I started thinking about everything "wrong" or unusual about my body. I have a lump-ish formation on my buttcheek - it's painless, soft and doesn't get bigger, deflates when I press on it, very similar to a lipoma, kinda just feels like thicker skin. It might not even be there, I asked my mother to look at it multiple times and she said she doesn't even notice anything. I've had this for 3 months, checked it every day and it's still the same way it was, also disappears after I pull skin. I even forgot about it for a while. But suddenly I'm terrified about what it could be. I haven't gone to the doctor with it because it didn't change its size, but now this fear made me want to go.
Then I started to think about white stuff that's hanging off my uvula - had it for ages, definitely during dentist appointments, and never thought about it, but now obviously it's something terrible.
I'm more than convinced it's just anxiety, otherwise how can I feel fine one second and terrible the next? It's Saturday, I'm 22 years old and I should be going out and having fun, yet I'm sitting here crying about what illnesses I might have. The more I think about it, the more things I find wrong with me. I've decided to go to the doctor on Monday. While I wait I should just relax, but I can't stop worrying.
How can I calm myself down? I feel like my nerves are shot and I can't bring myself to go outside and walk. I feel like I've messed up by not going to the doctor more often. Sorry for the long post, but I feel like this is the only place where I can talk about this. I'm ashamed to talk to my friends and my mom just keeps reassurring me that I'm fine, it's just stress and bad habits, but my anxiety causes me to doubt her.
A year ago I was getting nauseous and feeling the urge to vomit almost every time I was away from the house. Went to the doctor again and surprise surprise, after a few weeks the constant nausea went away.
For the past year I was feeling absolutely fine. But now it came back again. I'm dizzy on and off again, feeling weak and unbalanced, on the verge of crying. I have been this way for about two weeks, but not constantly - when I'm relaxed or concentrated I don't feel any symptoms, only when I actually start thinking about them.
This caused me to start googling things and now I'm absolutely terrified. I started thinking about everything "wrong" or unusual about my body. I have a lump-ish formation on my buttcheek - it's painless, soft and doesn't get bigger, deflates when I press on it, very similar to a lipoma, kinda just feels like thicker skin. It might not even be there, I asked my mother to look at it multiple times and she said she doesn't even notice anything. I've had this for 3 months, checked it every day and it's still the same way it was, also disappears after I pull skin. I even forgot about it for a while. But suddenly I'm terrified about what it could be. I haven't gone to the doctor with it because it didn't change its size, but now this fear made me want to go.
Then I started to think about white stuff that's hanging off my uvula - had it for ages, definitely during dentist appointments, and never thought about it, but now obviously it's something terrible.
I'm more than convinced it's just anxiety, otherwise how can I feel fine one second and terrible the next? It's Saturday, I'm 22 years old and I should be going out and having fun, yet I'm sitting here crying about what illnesses I might have. The more I think about it, the more things I find wrong with me. I've decided to go to the doctor on Monday. While I wait I should just relax, but I can't stop worrying.
How can I calm myself down? I feel like my nerves are shot and I can't bring myself to go outside and walk. I feel like I've messed up by not going to the doctor more often. Sorry for the long post, but I feel like this is the only place where I can talk about this. I'm ashamed to talk to my friends and my mom just keeps reassurring me that I'm fine, it's just stress and bad habits, but my anxiety causes me to doubt her.